konalavadome

One More Time

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adamfarr

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« Reply #15 on: August 08, 2019, 09:34:53 AM »
Hi Vicky - listening, nothing really sticks out at all and it comes over as a breezy and confident tune with a tinge of sadness if you want to think about it.

I do think "expire" is a missed opportunity - I'd probably think about something slightly more regretful - "one more time, but now it seems it's passed me by" or some such.

Anyhow, a nice write and all sounding very good.

pompeyjazz

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« Reply #16 on: August 08, 2019, 04:45:09 PM »
It's a lovely melody with heartfelt lyrics Vicki - Guitar playing is certainly sounding more confident. Lovely

CaliaMoko

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« Reply #17 on: August 08, 2019, 11:46:05 PM »
@t.wretborn
@adamfarr
@pompeyjazz

Thanks for the comments!

After reviewing everything, I have made some edits. Still no final version but I think it might be in there somewhere now. I put edits in the original post, but for convenience, here's a copy of them.


ONE MORE TIME

VERSE
I heard the news today. I don’t know what to say.
I always thought I’d see you one more time.
But that will never be, and it surprises me
How often you’ve been wand’ring through my mind.

CHORUS
I always thought I’d see you again.
I really expected an encounter now and then.
[possible alternative: How well I remember we were bound/once so close as friends
or: How well I remember we were once the closest friends
or: Sure we would have a chance to visit now and then]

It’s hard to believe our opportunities have died are gone.
I always thought I’d see you one more time.

VERSE
My memories are old, yet, far from growing cold.
Those happy times don’t seem so far away.
You’re right in front of me, but just a fantasy,
And I can’t spend my life in yesterday.

CHORUS

BRIDGE
One more time. I didn’t think it would expire.
[possible alternative: One more time; I’m sure we could/might have met somewhere
or: One more time; I didn't think there'd never be]

One more time. You know, it isn’t fair.
I was so sure we would have a chance for turning back the tide.
I always thought I’d see you one more time.

CHORUS

AND THEN I ADDED TWO REPEATED SECTIONS

VERSE 1

BRIDGE


Copyright 2019 Vicki Morrison Goble