konalavadome

The Boiling Point

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crystalsuzy

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« Reply #30 on: September 01, 2019, 10:20:45 AM »
Hi,
It's a very touching song and I like your sweet and fair voice. You feel that this subject is close to your heart. I really like the part where the voices speak, it's bold but it works. It may be a little long in my opinion and the recovery surprised me a little bit. I like the sound of the drums a little less. Apart from these details, it's a very good piece for me, it's very personal.

IS
Thanks so much for your comments Inanite.  Your thoughts on the drums and length are much appreciated. My songs do tend to be on the long side, but I'm glad you it regardless. I'm leaving this alone for a bit, but I do plan to try and add some bass, so it's still a WIP.

Modestmouse1965/

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« Reply #31 on: September 02, 2019, 09:26:43 PM »
Very creative and thought provoking. Great harmonies. A lot going on here so will need more listens. This is not a problem as i needed multiple listens to band's like pink Floyd and Radiohead each time they released something. It seems well crafted and sounds sweet considering the political lyrics. Great job.

crystalsuzy

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« Reply #32 on: September 07, 2019, 10:54:52 AM »
...I also thought of using the following lines in the 3rd verse:
 
"One million species face extinction in unstable times
Environmental disasters are such a crime"

What do you, or anyone else think?...

I think those two lines would be stronger with fewer words. Like:

One million species face extinction
But no one seems to have jurisdiction


Just an idea....

Not that I'm any expert, or anything...it still seems a little wordy, though it's better. The "unstable times" feels unnecessary and maybe too obvious. And "such a crime" feels more, well, predictable and ordinary than what I'm expecting from you.

Maybe you could do something with "at the tipping point" and "held at gunpoint" or "cataclysmic event"....

Really, I probably have no idea what I'm talking about and it's already perfect. I can totally get carried away picking words apart. Well, not words, literally, but sentences. Phrases.... Anyway, I'm operating on too much stress and too little sleep, so keep that in mind.

Sorry it's taken so long to respond to your suggestions Vickie. I really appreciate your taking the time to give these lyrics your thoughts. Means a lot and you definitely know what you're talking about. I have been playing around with them a bit, although I might just leave it as is for now. Sometimes I get to a point with a song and I just can't get enthused to do anything else with it, especially if I've been working on it for a long time. But thanks again for your input.

Girlinside

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« Reply #33 on: September 08, 2019, 07:59:05 AM »
I think it’s a grower x

crystalsuzy

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« Reply #34 on: September 10, 2019, 10:47:56 AM »
Amazing track @crystalsuzy  about a strong theme! :) Loved the piano in this one! And the talking part is so clever :)

Cheers
thanks for your very supportive comments LAM. Glad you liked the talking part :)

Hi Suzt

Really like this one.
Super lyrics and lots of interesting things going on.
Your vox are spot on too.
How did you get Elton to play on this?  :D :D

Enjoyed it!
Paul

PS - you could really make this take off at the end with a full orchestra, big drums etc etc. (or not!)

Thanks my fellow Canuck. Elton and I go way back :) I like your big ending idea!

Great opening line! And great concept spanning various boiling topics.


I'd keep the various lines with the "world" - or even move them all to be "earth" - I think there's power in keeping on returning to that key concept.


I could hear a acapella part maybe in the final verse - I think losing the piano altogether could also be a powerful moment...


A fine (and necessary) piece of work!

thanks so much for your insightful review Adam. I'm pleased to hear that you think I should keep returning to the "world". My purpose was that it make it more powerful.
I like your acapella idea ending as well :)

Wicked Deeds

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« Reply #35 on: September 12, 2019, 12:42:46 PM »
@crystalsuzy



I love your voice! There's always something quirky and enjoyable sbout your approach to musical productions and your writing is always thought provoking.. If you don't get any offers for bass, then drop me a message and I'll be happy to oblige.

Paul
" I could wait with balance and poise, amidst all of the noise."

http://cdbaby.com/cd/paulvasey

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Jamie

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« Reply #36 on: September 12, 2019, 02:10:52 PM »
Hi CS, your best vocal production I've heard! Nice harmonies working well too.Thoughtful lyric in these troubled times, oh and love the eltonesque piano playing.
Nice one
Jamie