Throw it on the fire

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LostBoy

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« on: June 20, 2019, 08:26:05 PM »
Hey everyone, well...I’ve heard numerous pro songwriters go on about all the crap songs they have to write before they can write a good one. This song, I feel, is one I had to write and finish on my journey to a good song.😊😆 Don’t get me wrong, there’s parts I like, but I’m not sure it will go on my next album or anything.🤷🏼‍♂️

Haha! Well now I’m done giving feedback on my own song...it’s your turn! ...if u don’t mind of course.🤪🎶👍🏻🎶 cheers!😄🙏🏻


https://soundcloud.com/leo-b-5/throw-it-on-the-fire

Lyrics.
Tired of hearing sorry, it’s a no?
You’re not quite what we’re looking for?
Well it would be so easy to give up
But I believe you’re made of stronger stuff

Just hold on tight
Keep your head high
You’ll be alright
Every time you fail, just throw it on the fire
It will make you strong
What you become
Gonna show them all
Just throw it on the fire.

Just keep on working hard
Be ready when you get that call
You’re  sitting on the bench head in your hands
But one day soon you’ll smack it out the stands.


« Last Edit: June 20, 2019, 11:16:54 PM by LostBoy »

Younger Hills

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« Reply #1 on: June 20, 2019, 09:01:28 PM »
You have a really good voice @LostBoy :) Think you're doing really well in the high parts. It isn't a bad song I think and the song has a good message. Maybe try and adapt the lyrics to match each other on the number of syllables.

Must admit I kinda liked this one :)
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diademgrove

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« Reply #2 on: June 20, 2019, 09:37:33 PM »
Hi LostBoy as you've asked here's my tuppence worth. Hope you don't mind.

The music is very strong, as is your singing. I think there's a great song in there but its weakness in my view is the lyrics. Its not clear who you are singing to. My initial reaction to the first verse was you were singing about yourself but that lasted two lines. It took me the whole song to realise you were singing to someone else.

That raises the obvious questions, who and why. The song doesn't provide any answers which took me away from appreciating the singing and the melody. My personal preference would be to put the song in the first person. You would then be singing about your reaction to rejection. You would be inviting the listener into your world, like Gloria Gaynor did in I Will Survive.

Finally I'm not keen on the line smack it out the stands. It sounds a little weak to my ears.

All the above may just be me so feel free to ignore me if you disagree.

Keith

Skub

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« Reply #3 on: June 21, 2019, 04:11:19 PM »
Yo @LostBoy

As we would expect,you are in fine voice here Leo. Keith raises some valid points,so I won't labour those issues again.

Your voice always sounds great,so you can make anything sound good and that makes it more difficult to judge the song itself.

For me,the song is fine,it's a kind of Bryan Adams album track,perhaps not a single,but a solid track nevertheless.
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PaulyX

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« Reply #4 on: June 22, 2019, 09:36:56 PM »
This is so very far from being a crap song Leo... I loved it. I actually thought it was one of your best... It just flows, doesn’t need to try too hard with elaborate hooks and so on, because the song itself just carries interest and emotion all the way through.  The title is a great line and good motif for the message of the piece... everyone has had frustrations, so everyone should identify with that message. No nits here, super track.
It's all too beautiful.

Paulski

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« Reply #5 on: June 22, 2019, 09:53:35 PM »
Hi Leo - great vocal and harms in this.
I was reminded of Brian Adams too ( a good canuckski)
I didn't understand the lyric TBH - throw your failures on the fire?
I kind of like the idea to maybe try 1st person - otherwise it borders on preachy - or motivational IDK.  ;D ;D
But I shouldn't nit-pick your stuff - it sounds so good - it's almost sacrilege  :(
Paul

MonnoDB

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« Reply #6 on: June 22, 2019, 11:16:12 PM »
Really like the rhythm of this from the start... and on a second listen I liked it even more..

The "throw it on the fire" line works for me - I was kind of imagining it was the PFO you're throwing the fire...

Hmmm the "smack it out the stands' line - not sure - is that like "knock it out of the park"?  TBH if you hadn't introduced the song as something you weren't quite sure of, I probably wouldn't question that as I can make my own sense of it..

I think this song is a victim of your preamble (and in fairness, I'm very good at setting a song up badly in my preambles) and the fact that it's a laid back gem... which is completely fine and it's really appealing to my ear...

A very lovely song, @LostBoy in my very humble opinion!

K

redrhodie

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« Reply #7 on: June 23, 2019, 12:04:12 PM »
Big sound. Very inspirational. Sounds like an anthem. I could see this being a hit.

shadowfax

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« Reply #8 on: June 23, 2019, 07:12:51 PM »
So never heard any crap..was I listening to the wrong song? :) 8)

Girlinside

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« Reply #9 on: June 24, 2019, 08:54:30 AM »
A good steady song - I liked the line everytime you fail Just throw it on the fire - like saying put it behind and throw it behind you
The more I listen the more I really like it

LostBoy

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« Reply #10 on: June 24, 2019, 11:18:42 AM »
@Younger Hills thanks mate! ;D👍🏻

@diademgrove Hey Keith, thanks for your feedback, I totally agree with you, the songs lyrics in the verses are not my best. That’s my issue with it aswell. Could use a rewrite or two!🤣🤪🎶👍🏻🎶

@Skub thanks Davy! Haha! If only I could get an album track worthy of Bry Bry, that would be AWESOME! but no, this one needs some work.😄🙏🏻

@PaulyX  Aww...thanks mate, it’s funny how we can all have such different viewpoints on the same thing. I’m glad you enjoyed it, I’m proud of the melody at least, and the chorus, just needs a bit more work on the verses.😄🎶👊🏻🎶

@Paulski hey man, thanks! I too wondered if it was a bit preachy?? I’d hate that! As for the hook...I was hoping for a little play on words/double meaning thing, I’ve often heard of athletes being driven to success by a fire inside...soooo yeah, throw your failures on your “ambition” and use them to push you closer towards your goal.🤷🏼‍♂️ Works for me, but obviously if I have to explain it, then that’s not ideal either.🤣🤦🏼‍♂️ It also means put it behind you, let it go...yadi yada...

@MonnoDB Thanks Karen! Yeah I’ve been around too many Americans in my life and “Smack it out the stands” is actually something I say quite a lot!!🤦🏼‍♂️😂 I’m pretty sure I could come up with something better though. “Throw it on the fire” is my way of saying throw it on your drive/ambition....and let it go.😄🎶🙌🏻🎶

@redrhodie @shadowfax @girlinside Thankyou for your nice words.😄🎶👍🏻🎶🙏🏻

« Last Edit: June 24, 2019, 11:20:27 AM by LostBoy »

cowparsleyman

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« Reply #11 on: June 25, 2019, 07:15:35 AM »
@LostBoy - Leo this is really good, love the general vibe, lovely production, especially the acoustic Gtr and LVox.

No nits at all, just arrangement ideas...I like to dissipate any predictability in a song..

1:05 - Have the bass double timing
1:13 - Lead Gtr Fill over to the Right, maybe pick on of the hooks from the melody
1:56 - Lose the do do's (It's just a personal pet hate, it always sounds lazy to me..) grand piano could fill out nicely here.
2:08 - Blistering Big wide Rock God Gtr solo in here...

Lyrics sounded alright to me.

Hope it helps

Muso1070

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« Reply #12 on: June 25, 2019, 08:23:33 PM »
Great sound there Lost Boy and the chorus has a brilliant lift as well.
Well done I enjoyed ;-)

RealKevM

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« Reply #13 on: June 26, 2019, 09:56:39 PM »
I always dig your work mate. Love the chords you're using here and the sound you've recorded. The song just build and builds and is pretty much perfect. Be proud of this one dude.

Viscount Cramer & His Orchestra

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« Reply #14 on: June 27, 2019, 02:53:48 PM »
Hey Leo I think it's a pretty good song and has a good catchy hook. I've heard plenty by even bigger names than yours (some have been mentioned) a lot worse. It's a good title/lyrical hook too.

Great vocal of course which ought to piss me off being a crap singer but I'm over all that! Power to you son. You've got a great voice which would carry any song wonderfully. And this really isn't at all bad....you must be aiming pretty high...fair enough!


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