[MichaelA]

Thanks for all these latest comments guys, much appreciated.

@Cawproductions , thanks for giving it a full listen - especially as the punch line comes only in the last few phrases!


@David Christy Jones thanks for that more technical analysis. I have been experimenting lately with different approaches to vocals v instrumental counter melodies. Glad you thought some of this worked, and nice to meet you by the way.

@cowparsleyman thanks for the mostly positive response. Same @mickyplankton . But seeing you both mentioned the mid8 I will reflect on this. Maybe there needs to a shorter 'single' version without it, as I realise it's a bit long. Sometimes it is tricky with narrative songs, where the story is king, to fit everything in! Cheers guys!

@MonnoDB , thanks for these supportive words Karen! On the subject of my 'sound' I am pleased to say that these days I am getting more and more comments on and offline that folk are recognising a signature sound in my stuff, esp a signature vocal sound. So I think that is good progress when I think where I was a couple of years back - completely lost, ha!  Anyhow, I'm glad you liked this story, you seem to be a sucker for a good tale!  And so 'Wahoo' back at you!

[diademgrove]

Hi Michael,

the music took me back to some of the singles released in the late 1970s. I can imagine Jilted John singing this, definitely a good thing.

The only thing that didn't work for me was the rhyming scheme in the middle 8. It was too much of a jolt to the system and took me away from the song thinking that sounds odd, he's switched the rhymes. I didn't think the meaning of the words were strong enough to support the jolt. The second half of the middle 8 was very impressive.

A great way to start my Saturday morning. Feel free to ignore me if you disagree.

Keith 

[Sunduta]

So much authentic happiness, those childish sounds are great, fit song perfectly. Also it brings back school memories so it is bittersweet for me. Still more sweet than bitter

[Bill Saunders]

Hi Michael @MichaelA

Every now and again on this forum you come across a song that really deserves a much wider audience - this is 100% one of those songs, it's a real gem.

I honestly love everything about it. The vocal style you have tried and the octave vocals are brilliant - both work really well.There is a great instrumental hook running through the thing. The words are so relevant today, the lyrics are clever and original and yet you keep some humour in there too. Musically it's got a happy upbeat vibe running through it.

Utterly fabulous!

[MichaelA]

Hi Keith @diademgrove , yay Jilted John! That's a blast from the past! Mind I would settle for a one hit wonder career like him! Cheers for that, made me smile! 

Thanks @Jibbek , glad the school memories you have are more sweet than bitter! 

Hello Bill @Bill Saunders , wow that's a very kind review! I think I need to put it on the song's single cover if there will be ever be such a thing!  Thanks for this! Here's to my one-hit-wonder career taking off!

[shadowfax]

Well..it's all been said this is a very good song with ultra interesting lyrics and those harmonies work so well..super track

[CaliaMoko]

Listened. Nothing original to say. Love the harmonies. And all of it, really. If I were in a nit picky mood, I might discuss strong and weak beats and where they fall, but I'm not. And, besides, in this case, it might suit the song. I'm not sure. Because, like, I'm not in the mood.... 

[PaulAds]

Fabulous.

On first listen,it didn’t quite hit the spot for me, somehow...

I’m very much a fan of yours, and I’ve followed the story of your vocal journey with interest having been on a bit of a kerfuffle of my own in that regard.

I absolutely get the idea of making your singing distinctive and it’s working great for you...but, sticking my neck out, could I possibly dare to suggest holding a little bit back? I thought maybe the “wahoo” bits in particular were in danger of dipping one tootsie into the murky soup of novelty. Please don’t take that the wrong way...it’s just a thought from a misery-guts who really admires what you do.

Anyway...the production and overall sound didn’t quite sit with me...and I couldn’t figure out why it felt like it fell slightly short of being fantastic. I left it for a while and when I came back to it,I came to the conclusion that it is such a special song that it needs a production that’s probably beyond most of our abilities to do it justice. You’ve done a very good job on it...I just felt it’s one of those songs that could genuinely go pro.

I loved the new order and pulp feeling I got from it...and although the lyrics felt too personal for me to identify with...they’re very clever and expertly crafted.

The title made me assume it was some kind of piss-take initially...like a character that Les Dawson (a genius and one of my all-time favourites) might have created. It was, of course, a sucker punch and you had successfully led me up the garden path. It’s very tender and poignant. Bravo 

[MichaelA]

Thanks for these comments @shadowfax and @CaliaMoko , much appreciated! 

Hi @PaulAds thanks so much for your detailed comments which if I'm honest I agreed with mostly. I think the extrovert vocal persona maybe was a little over the top, but I was trying to get across the exuberant joy the protagonist felt at revealing his long-time secret to Agnes.


Production wise, well I think I am not going to get much better unless I quite my ipad and garageband combo. My songs are inevitably demos, but of course I would love them to sound better! 

As for the Agnes Battersby comic name, yes good shout on Les Dawson. I came up with this when remembering some very beautiful girls I knew when growing up in a Lancashire Mill Town. Surnames like Ramsbottom, Eckersley and Crankshaw seemed somehow at odds with the beauty of these old heart throbs!

Cheers, made me think these words!

[montydog]

Hi,

I love the musical setting - a perfect match for the song which is beautifully written in a Jarvis Cockeresque style. Could hold it's own on a pro album.

No negatives from me except maybe a little long.

Alan

[adamfarr]

Listened a few times and have a bit of a love-hate relationship with this one!

Love: those lyrical touches - "oriented", "mistook". The story - I also don't think it's really possible to tell it with fewer verses.

Possibly I might have gone with a shorter chorus at least early on, to try to be a bit more "hooky", not sure...

Less love: the wahoos. Generally, I do like "interjections" in songs as they can really be hooky and singalong-y. I get that it's an important concept here - but I think my issue was that it rhymed, and so gave me a bit of a "Keyboard, Oh Lord" moment.

So not really hate, but that just took a little shine off for me... (sorry! Still, you're in good company).

[digger72]

Hi Michael,

Interesting song.
I too could imagine Jarvis singing this.
Some interesting sounds in there makes it that bit different - which is always a good thing.

Thought the vocal delivery was really engaging.

Digger

[MichaelA]

Hi all, thanks for these latest comments.

@montydog, yes maybe it is a little long, but having tried an edit on one version I think it will have to stay that way! Thanks for the kind words though! 

Hi Adam @adamfarr , well I know you like quirky songs generally, so I will take your comments on the vocal seriously. I think I maybe need not to get too carried away with it in future. But 'love/hate' is not always a bad thing. I've had people say that about my entire style - you either love it, or hate it. But at least it is not bland and so I think it hits a niche audience generally, which I am quite OK with. Looks like I will die poor but happy! 

Hey @digger72 thanks for stopping by, glad you liked it.