konalavadome

Bottle Top Song

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habiTat

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« on: May 18, 2019, 12:13:08 AM »
Hello everybody sorry I have not been here for the last 4 years but I've had children and lots of work to do thought I just call by and say hi wrote a song tonight, it's a bit ropey, I'm not gonna lie, just felt like giving it a try again. I hope you like it x




Bottle Top Song
By John B



Where are all the birds?
Where are all the bees?
Dawn is quiet now
What happened to the trees?

Paradise isle
But mile after mile
Of sand is littered now
It's been there for a while

They went to the deep
Down to the abyss
To find something clean
Instead they found this

Bottle Top
And a bag from a faraway shop
Bottle Top
And a bag from a faraway shop
Bottle Top
And a bag from a faraway shop
Bottle Top
And a bag from a faraway shop

Where are all the birds?
Where are all the bees?
Dawn is quiet now
What happened to the trees?

cowparsleyman

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« Reply #1 on: May 18, 2019, 03:52:57 PM »
Whato - Really dig your voice absolutely spot-on lots of emotion and appropriate feeling and drive in the song completely matches the vibe superb work.
I felt there was potential to put some Beatles type of movement towards a pre-chorus or a chorus.
Other than that great piece of work With a lot of potential

Not ropey at all I’ve had plenty of stems sent to me nowhere near as good as that

alcapone_dudu

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« Reply #2 on: May 21, 2019, 03:25:25 PM »
Very cool song, John. You've got something there. In my opinion, you just need some arrangement and production. Really liked the melody.

Well done!
« Last Edit: May 30, 2019, 06:56:58 PM by alcapone_dudu »

redrhodie

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« Reply #3 on: May 26, 2019, 06:52:14 PM »
Love this. Great start. Reminds me a bit (genre, not sound) of Where do the Children Play, and also a few things from Talking Heads. I think the chorus could use more lyrics rather than the repeat, and there should another verse or two. Beautiful voice you have there. I hope you're getting your mojo back and finding the time to write again.

Lynn

RealKevM

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« Reply #4 on: May 27, 2019, 12:15:48 AM »
Really strong vocals mate.

macker71165

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« Reply #5 on: May 27, 2019, 12:18:15 AM »
Nice tune bud   good vocals too

LukeArmstrongMusic

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« Reply #6 on: May 27, 2019, 11:53:22 AM »
You got a really good voice! :) It is a good song too with lots of emotions :)
Where the Hills are young, the Souls are old

https://soundcloud.com/lukearmstrongmusic

Doodles

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« Reply #7 on: June 21, 2019, 06:17:50 PM »
Excellent. Really nice song. Really well delivered. I think it would sound great with some backing to help the song build as it progresses. 

Light strings second verse. More substantial strings third verse...
Female backing vocals for the last verse.

Just my opinion and what I'm hearing when I listen.

Girlinside

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« Reply #8 on: June 24, 2019, 09:18:57 AM »
I really like it -is Beatlesesque and I like it loads - great voice good lyrics
Don’t leave it so long again

crystalsuzy

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« Reply #9 on: August 12, 2019, 11:16:56 AM »
WOW! so nice to see you on here again Habitat. I've missed your beautiful voice, and this is such a lovely song. I know how all consuming kids can  be, so good for you for taking time for yourself, to write this song :) Keep them coming my friend  :)

CaliaMoko

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« Reply #10 on: August 12, 2019, 03:14:50 PM »
It's all been said, I think, but I wanted to jump on the bandwagon. One of my favorite themes. And a really great, understated way to present it. Totally effective from my point of view. And, like everyone, I love your voice.

adamfarr

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« Reply #11 on: August 12, 2019, 05:56:57 PM »
Nice song indeed, really like the topic - and the progression (and the live playing). Perhaps for the island, instead of "It's been there for a while" you could say something like "it'll be there for a while"...
For it will, until we make some major changes...

Definitely healthy to have a musical break from children and work.
All the best!

Modestmouse1965/

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« Reply #12 on: August 25, 2019, 05:35:12 PM »
Hi. Like this. Would love to hear a duet guitar on this. Also more lyrics and harmony in the chorus. Cheers.

I am also looking for a review on a couple of my demos cheers
https://soundcloud.com/user-335183051/enemy