konalavadome

Counting

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Poe'T

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« on: May 17, 2019, 09:04:37 PM »
Counting

Verse 1

Counting my pills and I should be counting my blessings
My eyes feel like fountains and my brains just a mess
'N' I'm counting for nothing and I just feel like a zero
I should be counting for something but don’t so why I am here though
Counting the days until the end of my days
Barely staying alive but considering all of the ways
To not stay alive, to fulfil the end of my days
Praying I strive to live but not for long not for many more days
The doctor even said that I shouldn’t still be alive
I told ‘em I wish I was dead I’ve tried hundreds of times
And when death appears to me I’ll have no fear and I’ll thank it
Death knowns me and will keep me cosy death is my comfort blanket
Maybe I was the crazy one everyone else was all sane
I let silly nothings faze me couldn’t be in control of my brain
Irrational feelings they to daze me causing me needless pain
I hope today’s my time, I die and cleanse life from me in the rain

Chorus

Counting the days until the end of my days
Barely staying alive but considering all of the ways
To not stay alive, to fulfil the end of my days
Praying I strive to live but not for long not for many more days
Counting the days until the end of my days
Barely staying alive but considering all of the ways
To not stay alive, to fulfil the end of my days
Praying I strive to live but not for long not for many more days

Verse 2

I know I have so many reasons To be happy with my life
To blow my chances is treason I Should make this lady my wife
Business growing like ivy Spreading fast and strong
All good for now if it last though but who knows how long?
I’ve had my fair share of troubles I’ve not had it as bad as some
I’ve had as much as I can struggle with though and I just wish it was done
Selfish as suicide is It’s on my mind a large amount
It’s my way to find peace and so I stand here and pills I count
Hoping I have enough to take me away from this life
I’m sorry to those I leave behind my promise is I did really try
To get on the right track and want to stay alive
But my pen made it so clear to make this song my goodbye
Now as the ink leaves my pen the life in me is leaving too
I couldn’t have written my story without the people I knew
Some made it an adventure and some made it a nightmare
Now this is the end of the last chapter and my story ends there

Chorus

Counting the days until the end of my days
Barely staying alive but considering all of the ways
To not stay alive, to fulfil the end of my days
Praying I strive to live but not for long not for many more days
Counting the days until the end of my days
Barely staying alive but considering all of the ways
To not stay alive, to fulfil the end of my days
Praying I strive to live but not for long not for many more days

Younger Hills

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  • Singer/Songwriter from Norway
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« Reply #1 on: May 17, 2019, 09:53:35 PM »
At first sight, this looks like a rap song for me, just by the way it is written, but it could a country song for that sake too. You got a good flow, and I could feel the emotions in your lyrics, which is always something i'm looking for in a lyric.

In the last 4 lines of your first verse, you're having some really good end rhymes, and I would have liked to see more rhyming throughout the song to get the flow going. You also repeat yourself a lot in the chorus, using days/ways a lot, so maybe try switching things up a little to keep the interest up all the way.

But I like the way you're going with this one! :)

Cheers
Where the Hills are young, the Souls are old

https://soundcloud.com/elijahblueofficial