[MonnoDB]

So.... after nearly killing myself on my last song a few weeks ago  I've gone more pared back on this one.. Maybe too much, maybe not enough... It started off as an acoustic guitar number (something I never do!) and then I decided it should be piano only... now it's both and I'm not convinced it works but interested in feedback on any aspect, particularly that...

An upbeat number about dealing with that old chestnut, getting old - in this case specifically supporting a parent with Alzheimers - see upbeat!! I actually wrote it a couple of years ago and put it down as it really doesn't go anywhere - no real melody, very basic chords, practically no chorus and well it's probably just a vehicle for the words, a therapeutic purge if you will.. But I found myself picking writing again on the subject a couple of weeks ago (my therapy  ) and well, this popped back up and took hold... And I'm publishing to let go  !

As We Wait

https://soundcloud.com/monnodb/as-we-wait-sun

Don't be afraid
Put aside that fear
As the cloudiness comes
I'll be right here
I'll hold your hand
I'll take your weight
Just lean on me
As we wait...

The years pass
The tables turn
From a life and love
That simply were
No question marks
The lines were straight
They’re crooked now
As we wait...

Like an old film reel
The images float
Past my eyes
And that lump in my throat
Makes me tighten
My hold on your hand
My cries I swallow
My tears I fan
As we wait...

Bring me back
To an airy day
Paddling in
In the incoming waves
Trousers rolled
To knees exposed
Laughter loud and
Water cold
Hand held tight
As we jumped each time
The tide pushed us
Back in line
I close my eyes
I hold that thought
As we wait..

And I promise you
I won't love less
Won't loosen my hold
Through the cloudiness
My hand in yours
Your cushion my shoulder
It's simply time
We all must get older
Don't be afraid
I'll be right here
As we wait....

[Movin Flavour]

Beautiful acoustic ballad.

Love the pianos and excellent guitars too.

....and of course sung really well.

..love the sentiment, but I am feeling really sad now😒

Great song

Sandeep

[PaulAds]

Really lovely...and beautifully sung.

It absolutely works.

I kind of see the dilemma...the piano seems like it doesn't need the guitar...and it maybe doesn't...but I'd be reluctant to change anything. Your ears know what they're doing... and that's why you've done it the way it is.

Lyrics are super and touching...a real lip-wobbler!

Fab.

[pompeyjazz]

Very touching and personal lyrics Karen. It's a lovely honest song. I think the guitar and piano work very well together. I love your harmony work on this one and wonderful touch as you drop the harmony for the last line which accentuates the feeling of isolation. Quality song

[MartynRich]

I really like this. I think it’s a great piece of songwriting and the interchange between the guitar and piano works perfectly. The lyrics are very evocative and the chorus is very simple, effective and catchy.

My only constructive point is the major chord at the end of the third line of the chorus. To me it jarred a little the first time I heard it and I think you should only use it in the chorus at 2:57, because there I think it would be much more effective. My opinion is stick to the minor chord up until then.

[crystalsuzy]

This is so beautiful K I love your 1+1 tracks and this one is particularly relate-able for me as I went through this with my dad 
Some lovely images in the lyrics and I love your voice and the BV's are exceptional The 'we wait' is really effective.
I personally like the combination of the piano and guitar 
I'm really happy that you came back to this song and shared it with us K 

[cowparsleyman]

Good that you didn't keep it under that bushel.

Nice tune, with plenty of air.

Rich

[adamfarr]

That "wait" is such a sad (but true) concept and you bring it over so well. This one is a real showcase for your vocals and emotional writing.

One thing that a guitar has that piano doesn't is "texture" and often even if you can't really hear it, the fact of having it there can often change the feel. Hear it's a little like another voice and I'd say that the way you've used it really adds to the whole.

[rightly]

A very sweet song.
Top notch production.
I'm sure many radio stations would be happy to broadcast this.
A fine piece of work.

[PaulyX]

I often think there’s something timeless about your songs... to me they sound modern but I could also imagine them being played on a lute in a medieval castle. It might be the harmonies you use. Anyway loved this one, the way it ebbs and flows between major and minor chords - which suits the mood of the lyrics perfectly. I loved it when the piano showed up too.

[digger72]

Hi Monno,

Love the sort of Celtic feel to this.
Piano and guitars both work for me.
Vocals are the star though - would work perfectly well a cappella.

Really nice piece.

Digger

[Viscount Cramer & His Orchestra]

Lovely vocals.

I like the guitar more than the piano I think....the piano is nice but a bit more overpowering against the vocal than the guitar so i might go just with the guitar.

The nice harmonies/backing vocals give the arrangement a lot of weight anyway if that's the right word so maybe not a lot else is needed.

Listening again it's nice when the piano comes in for the 'as we wait' refrain second time around....but then it switches to only piano...maybe the piano should drop out again for the guitar when you get to the 'Bring me back to an airy day' and then only come back for the refrain again.....who knows...difficult isn't is especially if you're an indecisive clod like me who can never make his mind up which way to go....why it takes me so long to get a song done!

very lovely either way though. Vocals are super.

[Sunduta]

Beautiful, lots of sentiment and strong, deep emotions. Sad yet heart-warming. Guitar and piano are brilliant and vocals are even better.

[Paulski]

Not much to add - this is great.
That 6/8 time signature is a winner from the start, and your vocals are outstanding.
This reminded me of Randy Newman's Hallelujah - so you don't get higher praise than that IMHCO.
Good work 
Paul

[redrhodie]

Sublime. What stood out to me the most is the range of emotions, the build up in intensity, followed by pauses for breath. Has a timeless feeling, feeling both ancient and modern at the same time. Beautiful singing and playing. Just lovely, Karen. I don't know how you do it.

Lynn