[RealKevM]

Hi guys, i've gone for a grunge/early 90s Seattle type vibe on this one, it's a bit raw and loud so if that's your thing hopefully you'll like it. I can't decide whether I think it's awful or brilliant. Anyway it's a bit different for me and i'd love to know what you think.

 

Lyrics
I feel so, so sublime
and I feel like this life ain't mine
It's so charming to see you
Disarm me like this
and it's alarming to see you charm me like this

Chorus
I feel so high when you sing that lullaby
and I'll swallow everything that you say
I'll make a pillow underneath
this weeping willow
and i'll swallow everything that you say

[CaliaMoko]

I don't know genres very well, but I suspect "grunge" isn't my thing. I don't mind the sound of this, however. It probably isn't a style I would seek out, but now that I've listened, I think it's interesting. I went through parts of it a couple times.

There's one thing I would do differently. The same three words occur in two places. The two places are:

1. It's so charming to see you
2. and it's alarming to see you charm me like this

I would change the way you sing the words "to see you" so the emphasis is more like it would be if you were saying it to someone. So those three words would be weak-strong-weak (to SEE you) instead of strong-weak-strong like it is now (TO see YOU).

But not everyone agrees with such things, so feel free to ignore me.

[RealKevM]

Hey thanks for having a listen and especially to a style of music you don't usually. The same wording is used deliberately but I get what you are saying, I need to change the way I sing them, great advice

[Cawproductions]

Hi Kev.

You have some cool lyrics going on there and a great theme, well worth completing.

I think I would go for a short pre chorus chord progression to build a bit of suspense then ramp it all up to the chorus section.

One thing that we always do is get a drum track down with the right feel for the track, Then write everything against that drum track,
After the bones of the track are down, then I go in to the drum track and fine-tune to suit what I have recorded.

Only IMHO tho mate, just how we write and record and by no means the only way.

Tap me up if you need any help on anything.

Cheers
Andy

[RealKevM]

Cheers Andy, I'm really limited with my knowledge of using my digital recorder I can't program drums or anything ! it's really frustrating and I cant use a daw either cant get my head around them