[hardtwistmusic]

What's easier than writing a new song?   

Writing a new song when there's something else you're supposed to be focussing on.  This one was an existing piece of music I wrote years ago, but could never figure out how to use. 

I'm supposed to be focussed on spring cleaning. . . but I wrote this lyric instead.  I'll try to post this to "new songs" in the next week. 

****Contains mild profanity. 

                             WHEN THE LOVE INSIDE ME DIED. 

VERSE
You’re getting on an airplane   –   and leaving me today. 
Thank God and Southwest Airlines you’ll be a thousand miles away. 
I’m tryin to figure how to feel.   –   I’m trying to feel sad.
But reality’s a ruthless bitch and it doesn’t feel that bad. 

CHORUS: 
I don’t believe in miracles.    I didn’t believe your lies. 
Cause I could see the disrespect reflected in your eyes. 
You never were reliable.   You never really tried. 
Seems like only yesterday when the love inside me died. 

It wasn’t all that long ago when the love….. in…. Side…. me. . . died.

VERSE: 
You said you never loved me, and I believe that’s true. 
I could never count upon    –-   fidelity from you. 
I’d have climbed the Himalayas just to lay down by your side.
But I could never trust you babe.   –    There were things you couldn’t hide. 

CHORUS: 
I don’t believe in miracles.    I didn’t believe your lies. 
Cause I could see the disrespect reflected in your eyes. 
You never were reliable.   You never really tried. 
Seems like only yesterday when the love inside me died. 


VERSE:   
There’s questions I should ask myself.  There’s answers I should find.
Should I have tried to understand   –  what was goin through your mind. 
Did I really give our love a chance?     Did I do all that I should? 
Or did I just quit and turn away  --   when it all stopped feeling good? 

CHORUS: 
I don’t believe in miracles.    I didn’t believe your lies. 
Cause I could see the disrespect reflected in your eyes. 
You never were reliable.   You never really tried. 
Seems like only yesterday when the love inside me died. 
 

[Dogmax]

You know sometimes lyrics are just read and sometimes lyrics are just read and seen, but you know when a great lyric is a great lyric, when you read them see them and hear them, this is one of them, now get back to your spring cleaning      

Really great lyric man   

[ScottLevi]

Hey Verlon!

I'll try to post this to "new songs" in the next week. 

Can't help but show some encouragement after reading these even without anything constructive; flow so well that couldn't help but read them aloud to a tempo. A real joy, so really looking forward to hearing how you lay them down.

I find the distractions are often the best ones, as they're the least forced

All the best,
Scott.

[Neil C]

liking this Verlon,

reads. cathartic.

Just thought on the 'You never were reliable.   You never really tried' perhaps try 'there' instead of reliable, it maybe easier to sing and and more to the point..   

Maybe more spring cleaning?

:-)
neil

[hardtwistmusic]

Dogmax, Scott, and Neil:    Thanks so much for the encouragement and input.  I'll tinker with the line a little Neil, but it actually fits pretty well now, and might not with the tinkering.  I'll find out. 

Quick question if you have time....    I'm considering switching the second and third verses.  The verse that currently sits at "second" seems to have a better sense of finality than the last verse.  What do you guys think? 

[PaulAds]

This is an excellent lyric, Verlon

I'd keep the verses in the order they are here, I reckon.

Nice work.

[Dogmax]

I agree with Paul but for me these lyrics are a stage performance and I can hear love having those second thoughts but on reading, I agree with Paul leave as is.

But then lay it out what you think.

[Furry61]

What smacks me in the face here is the prosody in the verse and in the chorus is the same, I would change this.

[hardtwistmusic]

What smacks me in the face here is the prosody in the verse and in the chorus is the same, I would change this.

Here is what's fascinating.  The music (both instrumental and vocal melody) are too similar in the song.  But that's not the fascinating part.  The fascinating part is that (assuming that's what you meant by "prosody") is that you could HEAR THAT JUST BY READING THE LYRIC? 

Wow...  That is cool beyond cool.  THAT is an impressive talent.  Of course, you might have meant something else by the term "prosody" but even so, still pretty impressive. 

After posting this, I read it, and realized it might be taken as sarcastic.  It is not sarcastic.  I'm genuinely and seriously impressed by your insight.

[ScottLevi]

Quick question if you have time....    I'm considering switching the second and third verses.  The verse that currently sits at "second" seems to have a better sense of finality than the last verse.  What do you guys think? 

Hey Verlon,

Just stopping by to say I like them the way they are personally. Third verse offers greater reflection, which makes more sense to finalize for me. And in the end it does seem to me a strong theme of reflection, and facing up to difficult questions