[Dogmax]

I might add another verse to this but for the moment I'll leave as is


She wanted to dance all night

But long days are not young anymore

So we headed home

Everything seems old and worn

The glory days are long gone

Whatever happen to this dirty old town



She rest her head on my shoulder

It was good tonight we had fun

I smiled and kiss her goodnight sweetheart

For in the morning, I wake up alone


I take her freshly cut flowers

I sit and we talk for a while

Then I get tired and sleepy

Close my eyes she takes my hand

I see her smile we're going dancing again

Goodnight sweetheart

I'll be with you soon

©

[Neil C]

Good stuff here. Seems like you’ve a verse, a chorus and a verse?

Just wonder whether you could repeat goodnight sweetheart in the chorus so it’s the payoff line?

 
Neil

[Dogmax]

Good stuff here. Seems like you’ve a verse, a chorus and a verse?

Just wonder whether you could repeat goodnight sweetheart in the chorus so it’s the payoff line?

 
Neil

Hi Neil i see what you're saying, i was going a few ways after the first few lines but the flow took me to a graveyard maybe the reader and after song listening will take some other imagery from it, what way do you see it.

Thanks Neil 

[Andreas]

You write amazing as always @Dogmax You tell a story with your words, that adds a picture in my head, and that is an ability I appreciate! I wonder what thoughts you have when it comes to the music to play along with the lyrics? I could hear possibly some slow piano ballad stuff or something in that direction, or something in the Clapton direction.

If you add another verse, I could see that the last verse you have now, could be the end verse of the song, cause it sounds like a good ending. Anyways, it was a brilliant read as always from you  

[Dogmax]

You write amazing as always @Dogmax You tell a story with your words, that adds a picture in my head, and that is an ability I appreciate! I wonder what thoughts you have when it comes to the music to play along with the lyrics? I could hear possibly some slow piano ballad stuff or something in that direction, or something in the Clapton direction.

If you add another verse, I could see that the last verse you have now, could be the end verse of the song, cause it sounds like a good ending. Anyways, it was a brilliant read as always from you  

Hey man i'm starting to think maybe it don't need another verse or a chorus, just repeat the last verse, if the listener want to hear the first two verses then all they have to do is press play again, i like your thoughts piano ballad if you want go for it, no need to ask man