On My Mind

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Andreas

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« on: March 26, 2019, 03:51:55 PM »
Hey all! So, when I finally thought I was just writing happy love songs again, here I am once again with a break-up song :p Finally I have got my hand writing music like never before, and I think I have found my identity musically, near the Indie genre :) So, here it is; "On My Mind"

When I have been playing this, I feel like there's something missing after the 2nd chorus, so maybe a bridge before going into the hook. I have been doing "you're on my mind" falsetto to end it up till now.

(V1)
I say, what’s on your mind
You say, I need a little time
Away from you
Away from us
Is there anything I can do
To make you feel the same again
(CH)
I walk the earth if I had no other choice
I take you anywhere just to hear your voice
One last time
I’ll give you my heart and more
To stop you from walking out that door
You’re on my mind
You’re on my mind
(V2)
Is this how It’s supposed to be
You walking out on me
I still love you
And what we had
Is there anything I can do
To make you feel that way again
(CH)
I walk the earth if I had no other choice
I take you anywhere just to hear your voice
One last time
I’ll give you my heart and more
To stop you from walking out that door
You’re on my mind
You’re on my mind


hardtwistmusic

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« Reply #1 on: March 28, 2019, 06:02:13 PM »
This is a good lyric. . . albeit a lyric that will be made or broken by the choice of music it is set to.  WITH a good vocal melody, this will shine.  WITHOUT a good vocal melody, it's quickly forgotten.  Find a good vocal melody with plenty of drama.
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