[Sonny And The Dark]

Hello this is my first post to the forum, looking forward to listening to all the new original music uploaded here!

I wrote this song for my daughter who had an extremely traumatic birth and by some chance of a miracle survived and is the joy of my life.

This is a pre-release recording captured with 2 mics and recorded live in the lovely acoustics of my garage! I am hoping to gather interest in my music before I release my debut album this summer.

I have created a lyric video to accompany the song.

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Lyrics

You will always be
Daddys little girl
Even when were far apart
There's a place for you in my heart
So I hope you know I'm coming home
And you'll never have to feel alone
I only want to see you happy
Your the twinkle in my eye


And I will be your life jacket
You can hold
You can hold
You can hold on tight
Cause there'll be rivers
Rivers in your life

But I will be your life jacket
You can hold
You can hold
You can hold on tight
Cause they'll be rivers in your life


I did not believe in miracles
I was down on my knees praying for you
Some might say be careful what you wish for
With hand on heart I would'nt change a thing
Your everything I wanted
Your everything I needed
Hold your head up high I'm proud of you
And I'll do all I can to make you proud of me
For as long as I'm here
I want you to know...

And I will be your life jacket
You can hold
You can hold
You can hold on tight
Cause they'll be rivers
Rivers in your life

But I will be your life jacket
You can hold
You can hold
You can hold on tight
Cause they'll be rivers in your life

There will be a time
When you leave this house behind
Go out into the world
Through the good times and the bad
Just be who are
And listen to your heart
Remember when I told you
Even when were far apart...

That I will be your life jacket
You can hold
You can hold
You can hold on tight
Cause they'll be rivers
Rivers in your life

But I will be your life jacket
You can hold
You can hold
You can hold on tight
Cause they'll be rivers in your life

[PaulyX]

Yep, your garage has lovely acoustics!  Big welcome to the forum.  Nice track, there's a pristine sweet simplicity to it, and it sounds heartfelt.  Maybe for 4 and a half minutes it needs a bit more variation or a bigger production, or alternatively a bit of editing down to 3 - 3:30 mins if you want to keep it so stripped back?  Your voice sounds very good, hope to hear more of your stuff.

[pompeyjazz]

Hi Sonny and welcome to the forum. Lovely sincere song well played, sung and recorded. It's got a sense of innocence and vulnerability which I guess you were trying to achieve. Vocals are very effective up front. My only suggestion would be to break up the finger picking with maybe a couple of pauses or long strummed sustained chords if that makes any sense. Good work. Looking forward to seeing you around

[Sonny And The Dark]

Hi thank you so much for the feedback!

I will definatley have a go at adding some more variation into the guitar playing, I am recording other songs with a band so the final version may end up having more going.

Personally I do like minimal productions because it sounds more authentic to my ear but always open to experimenting to serve the song!

[adamfarr]

Hi there - lots to like here - the verses seem very sincere and conversational. But the chorus makes a nice contrast as it's very metaphorical. Perhaps one more guitar line over the top could work to raise the chorus a notch? (Or even some very light keys? - but no strings!) But overall I like the simplicity of the arrangement which is quite powerful in itself. Cool song!

[Sonny And The Dark]

Thank you! Those are some really great ideas I think a few embellishments like that on album version would help, I could maybe slowly build it up from the second chorus to add some contrast.

[MartynRich]

This is really, really, really good mainstream songwriting. You have a voice like chocolate as well. I wouldn't´t change much on this as either, although I´m sure some smartass producer would add strings and some backing vocals somewhere. Stick around and review others because it´ll be a pleasure to hear more of your stuff. This is one of the songs of the month so far imo.

[Skub]

Yo Sonny.

It's a sweet,delicate song. Your vocals remind me of Bob Seger,his songs always work well with a band or unplugged.

The only thing I'd do would be to shorten the piece for more impact.

[MichaelA]

Wow @Sonny And The Dark that is a very personal and heartfelt piece of music. One day your daughter will probably sob her heart out when she hears a recording of this from days of old. Until then you have no doubt many wonderful years with her to enjoy!

Others have mentioned length and I concur on that. If you now agree, well I would possibly cut out the developmental lyrical section when you talk about her leaving one day. The sweetness in the song is probably in this idea of looking after a vulnerable young child as a loving Dad.


But the song has a lot of potential to reach a wider audience, especially as your vocals are so cool and contemporary too. Nice one!

[rightly]

Hi sonny. Welcome to the forum.   

The sentiment of the song works for me, I too have an amazing daughter.
Very well constructed song, just a bit too long. I agree with lostboy here.
Contemporary sounding vocals.
I like minimalistic productions too, the complex a production gets,
 the most difficult to master.
When it works though, it's da bomb.

All the best to you. 

[Neil C]

hi welcome,
Neat simple effective song and really like your vocals
Good title and lyrics
cool tune.
:-)
neil
ps don't forget to read the 'rules' and review others too

 

[LostBoy]

Beautiful song mate! I love the lyric especially the chorus...”there will be rivers in your life.”😄🎶👍🏻🎶

Yep! I do agree with others about variation in the excellent guitar work. If u had other things going on in wouldn’t matter too much, but as it’s just you (great voice btw) and the guitar you need to keep things as interesting as possible ESPECIALLY for a 4.30 song. (I also think you could lose the last verse, although I totally get why you wouldn’t want too as it’s a very personal song and you wanna say what you wanna say.👍🏻)

Great stuff mate! 😄🎶👊🏻🎶

[Movin Flavour]

Hi Sonny.....welcome.

I also liked the lyrics rivers in your life ...great analogy.

Love the song and vocals, got a lot going for it.

Great sentiment

An enjoyable listen

Sandeep