good morning, this morning

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rightly

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« on: March 16, 2019, 02:42:22 PM »

I intentionally put this one together to get over a break up.
So please excuse the bitterness.
It's a bit unnerving to exhibit myself this way, I suppose it's what some might call a personal what y' call it, thing.

Feedback most welcome

The link:

https://soundcloud.com/rightly/good-morning-this-morning

The lyrics:


Good Morning This Morning


good morning, this morning
with your hair pressed into your back
your sleepy eyes do kill me with
a blood stained heart attack
could have saw it coming‚
I chose to look the other way
never one for running from
the drama of delay

good morning, this morning

you say wrong, I do right on some
pointless rising curve
incapable of flight yet there‘s no
 finer feathered bird
n‘ I‘ll persuade on all fours
then decline your bold request
it‘s really far too early, ‘got no love
for puppy breath

good morning, this morning
move on, my regards to your sponsor
if he still wants you, move on

open window yawning
there, behind your lovely face
where a gentle snow is falling
as fine as wedding lace
fuss n‘ fight through the night
n‘ we‘re torn apart all day
neither of us winning, let this
be our last embrace

good morning, this morning
move on, take it with you, my love song,
it‘s not a bad one, move on

we could be imaginary friends…
good morning, this morning



___________________________


rightly


___________________________
It's either this or that, then again it might be the other. 

I can promise you a future of slow decline.

Don't eat the yellow snow

And there you have it. 

https://soundcloud.com/2rightly

https://soundcloud.com/rightly

pompeyjazz

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« Reply #1 on: March 16, 2019, 09:44:03 PM »
Ever since you started to get into Cubebase @Rightly I've looked forward to your extesentioal journeys into alternative dimensions. I love your acoustic and vocal stuff as well but having the DAW tools now and using them in ways that other folks might not think of is a huge slice of genius. I would go for some more cosmic layers on this one, it deserves it. Hugely accomplished lyrics as usual. Loved the puppy breath line. Incredible, individual and authentic  8)

PaulyX

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« Reply #2 on: March 17, 2019, 09:26:32 AM »
This has a great soundscape... I love the choices of sound you've made, especially the opening section where it sounds like piano strings being scraped. The woozy melody of the vocals is elusive yet somehow catchy at the same time when it reaches the chorus. I was a bit caught out by the sudden ending - apart from that, loved it.
It's all too beautiful.

shadowfax

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« Reply #3 on: March 17, 2019, 05:27:54 PM »
Agree 100% with Pomp's post..very interesting production and as usual off the charts lyrics, I do struggle somewhat with your delivery but, hey..what do I know... ???

best, Kevin :)
Soundcloud Shadowfax6

from the nightmare!

PaulAds

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« Reply #4 on: March 18, 2019, 01:05:16 PM »
Lyrics are absolutely brilliant...you are in a league of your own there.

I can't even begin to review something like this...i can only say how fascinated I was once again...

Very cool indeed.
heart of stone, feet of clay, knob of butter

Skub

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« Reply #5 on: March 18, 2019, 02:14:20 PM »
Yo Rightly.

The lyrics roll effortlessly and I daresay their clever construction allows individual listeners their own personalised interpretation. Vivid imagery,concise yet oblique.

Loving what you are doing with the new tools,a whole new palette for your creativity.  8)

rightly

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« Reply #6 on: March 19, 2019, 12:48:01 PM »
Ever since you started to get into Cubebase @Rightly I've looked forward to your extesentioal journeys into alternative dimensions. I love your acoustic and vocal stuff as well but having the DAW tools now and using them in ways that other folks might not think of is a huge slice of genius. I would go for some more cosmic layers on this one, it deserves it. Hugely accomplished lyrics as usual. Loved the puppy breath line. Incredible, individual and authentic  8)

Thanks Pompey for the high praise. 

This was quite an easy write I had little else in my mind at the time.
I saw the end of the relationship coming, the grief was predictable. 
I was supported by my friendly workplace at the time and recovered fast enough. I'm happy to get at least a song out of it. 
Yes, my guitar stuff was quite intense, I'm a strange rhythm guitarist.
 It was really hard, and for the most part thankless work to stay fit with it for performances.
My daw efforts seem more palatable and there's a wide range of possibilities to examine, at least this way I can keep No. 1 happy this way.

All the best. R.
It's either this or that, then again it might be the other. 

I can promise you a future of slow decline.

Don't eat the yellow snow

And there you have it. 

https://soundcloud.com/2rightly

https://soundcloud.com/rightly

MartynRich

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« Reply #7 on: March 19, 2019, 12:54:58 PM »
"The drama of delay"...I´m sure everyone can relate to that one. Just one line in a endless poetry of emotion. It´s a great song told in a storytelling style with an inventive soundscape that makes me feel inspired to do more of this kind of thing...Your creativity makes me feel as mainstream as Jason Donovan. Everyone has a lot to learn from your good self. Another song added to my soundcloud playlist.

montydog

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« Reply #8 on: March 19, 2019, 03:44:33 PM »
Great musical palette - your use of the DAW is imaginative and inventive. You seem to be creating a heck of a lot of material recently and I think this one of your best with some lyrical touches which are excellent. I'm still getting used to your singing style which is rather unusual if you don't mind me saying. Plenty to like here.

M

Sonny And The Dark

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« Reply #9 on: March 20, 2019, 09:01:46 AM »
Really like the production on the background music! Has a very warm electronic soundscape vibe with a hint of advante-garde on the intro. It is sung very nicely in a way that contrasts with song subject which I find really interesting, if I just heard the chorus I would think I was listening to happy song! I think that really helps the overall balance. Awesome stuff!

nooms

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« Reply #10 on: March 20, 2019, 04:00:32 PM »


brilliant words.. 
surprise round every turn.. every line stands out..
 brought to life by yiur vocal & phrasing
'incapable of flight yet there‘s no
 finer feathered bird..'  just knocked me out

i did find the backing a little distracting in places whilst the lyrics were picking my pockets !
great song mate your an artist
i may not believe this tomorrow...

https://soundcloud.com/nooms-1

MichaelA

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« Reply #11 on: March 21, 2019, 09:49:18 AM »
Super arrangement @Rightly, very atmospheric and unpredictable as you carve out a unique style of your own. Nice depth to those lyrics too, full of bile and contrast and irony.

Good work man!
My latest novel: pls check it out!

‘Gavin & The Bodysnatchers’, a quirky comedy crime thriller. Easily found on Amazon.

https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B09GZ7C8M7?ref_=pe_3052080_397514860

Neil C

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« Reply #12 on: March 22, 2019, 05:00:06 PM »
Enjoying the woozy track with the falling drums, piano and stuff, all works well with your vocals and lyrics.
cool 
:-)
neil
songwriter of no repute..

rightly

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« Reply #13 on: March 24, 2019, 11:44:32 AM »
Great musical palette - your use of the DAW is imaginative and inventive. You seem to be creating a heck of a lot of material recently and I think this one of your best with some lyrical touches which are excellent. I'm still getting used to your singing style which is rather unusual if you don't mind me saying. Plenty to like here.

M

Glad you like the song montydog.
Some of my recent songs aren't really that recent.
Originally I wrote this song on guitar about two n a half years ago.
Other songs, Mark of Cain, for example, I wrote maybe seven years ago ( the music for it was terrible in the original).
In the last six months, there's been so much non spectacular but time stealing drama, I've only written one , two n a half minute song, a real struggle to write, mostly finished now. The final stages of production are tiring for me.

I don't like inactive phases however natural they're said to be. 

I don't mind your comment on the singing. I do n have to pay attention to hitting those notes,
I pay attention to phrasing.  I'd never strive for any usual sound, I'd never try to sound authentic.
If the take sounds inauthentic, or forced, I'm quick to delete it.   

The best to you! 
It's either this or that, then again it might be the other. 

I can promise you a future of slow decline.

Don't eat the yellow snow

And there you have it. 

https://soundcloud.com/2rightly

https://soundcloud.com/rightly

adamfarr

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« Reply #14 on: March 24, 2019, 06:29:19 PM »
Very bleak and gut wrenching atmosphere - I think the piano makes that. Love the wedding lace line, though the entire lyric is evocatively composed. It took a few listens to get into the melody as there’s a lot going on and as you say you are quite un compromising on the phrasing, but I wouldn’t have it any other way. It relays the listens with its lurking melody too.