Passengers to Love

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jacksimmons

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« on: February 28, 2019, 12:36:09 AM »
One more from my new album. Not much to say here. It's a stripped-down piano ballad love song thing.



Lyrics:

I've never felt this alive before
Watching the stars from your car door
God gave me a happy ending
Found it in your car tonight
Chasing storms and our tomorrows down
Down tonight

I feel we're passing time
We're passengers to love
Like castaways meant for up above
You are not for everyone but
There is a hole in me
You slot right in like a jigsaw
Make make me whole

Now we're moving on
We're passing through our old town
Old faces always make me frown
Some dumb people grab the world
Then do nothing when it's down
We are only getting started
Now now you know
Now you know
Now you know
« Last Edit: February 28, 2019, 12:59:00 AM by jacksimmons »

Killjoy

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« Reply #1 on: February 28, 2019, 12:57:02 AM »
Really nice listen mate. I love the soft melodies throughout but the beginning of the second verse stands out to me. Lyrically  very poetic but not too difficult to follow, as in some lyrics seem to be quite 'pompous' for the sake of sounding cleverly written...this doesn't do that. You have a good voice too with an interesting quality to it. Would love to hear your other stuff man so I'll check out your Soundcloud.

dinnerwithgreedo

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« Reply #2 on: February 28, 2019, 02:59:52 AM »
I really liked this. I can hear it with a band too (and some sweeping strings).
Remember.... it's just my opinion. It doesn't make me right. Although i probably am ;)

Martinswede

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« Reply #3 on: February 28, 2019, 02:32:02 PM »
Hi Jack!

No offense to any of all the other members but you're one really good reason to try to stay updated in the avalanche of the Feedback on finished songs thread.

I'm a big fan of stripped down arrangements. It's often a good way to really hear the song. I'll run it through by what I heard when I listened. I might empathize a bit on suggested improvements but that's just coz I think the song is top notch. If I were to comment on the good things it would take forever. I listened with headphones so I might have had a bit of of an uncolored listening experience.

First I think the piano(did you get an electric by the way?) is a bit mellow. Lots of low mid range but not so much bass and treble.
Secondly the vocals sound just a little bit too up front. Just a slight bit lower in the mix, a touch of extra reverb.
Also I miss some short instrumental part. Feels like it could fit between part 2 and 3. Synth strings maybe.

Thank you for another great listening experience and a well crafted song,
Martin
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adamfarr

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« Reply #4 on: February 28, 2019, 04:16:19 PM »
Jack - a very melodic song with a slightly unusual lyrical take on the theme, and very nicely delivered. I think making the last verse or part of it a duet with a second voice could really add to the emotion.
But it's great and really well worked already.

Skub

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« Reply #5 on: February 28, 2019, 05:02:42 PM »
Yo Jack.

What a lovely,melodic song.

It's very easy to let a love song lapse into the banal,but your imaginative lyrics are the icing on the cake.

The vocals sound vulnerable and exposed,but totally on point and they give the song extra credence. You make me believe.

There is so much more you could add to the song,but I don't think anything could add to the song. It's a lovely thing as it is.
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pompeyjazz

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« Reply #6 on: February 28, 2019, 05:22:03 PM »
A lovely melodic listen Jack. You've certainly got a gift for melody. I think it works really well just with piano and vocals and I don't think I would change a thing personally. Poignant lyrics. Excellent

MartynRich

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« Reply #7 on: February 28, 2019, 06:55:17 PM »
Very melodic Jack. I like stripped down as well, it´s a simple love ballad that ticks many boxes. It´s very well played and sung as well...I like the fact there is no stand out chorus as it gives the song a nice longing about it...it´s a simple message well delivered. Well done.

mickyplankton

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« Reply #8 on: February 28, 2019, 06:56:31 PM »
I'm not a fan of love songs but will make an exception for this one as the melodies are sweet and the lyrics are thought provoking especially the last verse. I don't think it needs any additional elements. Perhaps a slightly sharper piano sound.

MichaelA

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« Reply #9 on: March 01, 2019, 01:09:47 PM »
Sweet piano which suited your usual melodic - and in this case almost angelic - voice.

Very delicate tune that suits this 1+1 treatment. It's the kind of song where they usually bring on an obligatory gospel choir at the end on talent shows! Where this treatment shows simplicity can and should win the day.


Touching, irresistibly innocent!

PaulAds

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« Reply #10 on: March 02, 2019, 09:27:19 AM »
Had a few listens a couple of days ago and thought it was brilliant.

Returned to it this morning and it was like bumping into an old friend.

You have a great vulnerable quality in your voice. It's a lovely melody and the honesty shines through.

REALLY Excellent!

jacksimmons

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« Reply #11 on: March 05, 2019, 01:52:35 PM »
Really nice listen mate. I love the soft melodies throughout but the beginning of the second verse stands out to me. Lyrically  very poetic but not too difficult to follow, as in some lyrics seem to be quite 'pompous' for the sake of sounding cleverly written...this doesn't do that. You have a good voice too with an interesting quality to it. Would love to hear your other stuff man so I'll check out your Soundcloud.

Cheers mate I am glad you liked the song and if you did checkout my soundcloud then very much appreciated! Not a lot of plain old piano ballads on it though I am afraid!

I really liked this. I can hear it with a band too (and some sweeping strings).

Sweet piano which suited your usual melodic - and in this case almost angelic - voice.
Very delicate tune that suits this 1+1 treatment. It's the kind of song where they usually bring on an obligatory gospel choir at the end on talent shows! Where this treatment shows simplicity can and should win the day.
Touching, irresistibly innocent!

Thank you guys! I was really tempted all throughout the process to begin adding stuff. I had a version with strings and am a sucker for big harmony backing vocals but I knew I had to keep this bare bones. I tend to overstuff stuff sometimes I think so this was a challenge for me. I am glad you enjoyed.

No offense to any of all the other members but you're one really good reason to try to stay updated in the avalanche of the Feedback on finished songs thread.
I'm a big fan of stripped down arrangements. It's often a good way to really hear the song. I'll run it through by what I heard when I listened. I might empathize a bit on suggested improvements but that's just coz I think the song is top notch. If I were to comment on the good things it would take forever. I listened with headphones so I might have had a bit of of an uncolored listening experience.
First I think the piano(did you get an electric by the way?) is a bit mellow. Lots of low mid range but not so much bass and treble.
Secondly the vocals sound just a little bit too up front. Just a slight bit lower in the mix, a touch of extra reverb.
Also I miss some short instrumental part. Feels like it could fit between part 2 and 3. Synth strings maybe.
Thank you for another great listening experience and a well crafted song,

Thank you so much Martin, you are always incredibly kind. I have taken your advice and taken the vocals down slightly and added a touch more reverb because I think you are totally right there. Also tried to add some brightness to the piano but I also wanted to keep that mellow sound. I'd like it to sound as much like a room with a couple of mics in as possible if you know what I mean. Thanks for listening :)

Jack - a very melodic song with a slightly unusual lyrical take on the theme, and very nicely delivered. I think making the last verse or part of it a duet with a second voice could really add to the emotion.
But it's great and really well worked already.

A lovely melodic listen Jack. You've certainly got a gift for melody. I think it works really well just with piano and vocals and I don't think I would change a thing personally. Poignant lyrics. Excellent

Yo Jack.
What a lovely,melodic song.
It's very easy to let a love song lapse into the banal,but your imaginative lyrics are the icing on the cake.
The vocals sound vulnerable and exposed,but totally on point and they give the song extra credence. You make me believe.
There is so much more you could add to the song,but I don't think anything could add to the song. It's a lovely thing as it is.

Thanks guys! I am glad the lyrics didn't lapse in to the banal as love songs often can. Though I think it might come close in places. :O Thanks for your kind words. This one means a lot to me.

I'm not a fan of love songs but will make an exception for this one as the melodies are sweet and the lyrics are thought provoking especially the last verse. I don't think it needs any additional elements. Perhaps a slightly sharper piano sound.

Not a fan of love songs?! Sacrilege! Haha. They tend to be almost all I ever write. I would love to go political or something but I think people might laugh. Thanks for listening and I am glad I didn't bore you to sleep. You're the best x

Very melodic Jack. I like stripped down as well, it´s a simple love ballad that ticks many boxes. It´s very well played and sung as well...I like the fact there is no stand out chorus as it gives the song a nice longing about it...it´s a simple message well delivered. Well done.

Cheers mate. I am glad you liked the playing 'cause this is the first piano I have recorded since biting the bullet and purchasing a digital one a few weeks ago. Thanks for listening. :)

Had a few listens a couple of days ago and thought it was brilliant.
Returned to it this morning and it was like bumping into an old friend.
You have a great vulnerable quality in your voice. It's a lovely melody and the honesty shines through.
REALLY Excellent!

That really is a beautiful thing to say, so thank you. Really means a lot that this is resonating with some people cause it's one of my more personal ones for sure. Awesome that you liked it. Thanks for listening :D

LostBoy

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« Reply #12 on: March 05, 2019, 03:46:57 PM »
Hey Jack,

I always look forward to your songs mate. This is lovely! I need to check out your album. The only thing (and it's a tiny thing, that doesn't even matter cos the songs done.) that I noticed was you rhyming tonight with...tonight in the first section....but seriously...who cares!! Great stuff buddy!🎶👊🏻🎶😁

Rightly

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« Reply #13 on: March 05, 2019, 03:57:56 PM »
yes, love the melody.
I do really like the stripped down production
a band might make it epic but I doubt it could be better than what you've done here.

Like so Micky plankton said of his own tastes... I too have my issues with love songs, those issues didn't emerge with knowing it was one of yours.

Thanks for sharing.
It's either this or that, then again it might be the other. 

And there you have it. 

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ScottLevi

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« Reply #14 on: March 17, 2019, 03:49:25 PM »
Jack!

Hey man, hope you're doing well! A bit late on this but wanted to come back as I can't remember reciprocating any of the awesome feedback sent my way for a good while, apologies for so.

Always a joy to listen to your music. We are worlds apart in many aspects of our styles which sometimes leaves me a bit lost for words - but is refreshing and provides plenty of inspiration.

On the risk of rambling nonsense; I think music is a balance somewhere between the emotional and musical elements. More and more and I'm falling off the scales to the left in my taste to the point where any musical elements which isn't directly jabbing through the skin to say something personal is just crowd, regardless of how well arranged and executed.

So with that bias explained; it's really refreshing to hear this from you. I've always admired your creativity and talent in lyrics, arrangements and execution - and knowing you have all that ability makes the prospect of stripped back interpretations all the more appealing. Would love to hear more like this, acoustic too maybe? :P

There's a really lovely sound to this song, bet it's even better live! Tried this one out on the public?

All the best,
Scott.