[RAVANPREET KAUR]

Hello everyone it's my first song. Please give me reviews.

https://soundcloud.com/user-823205343-239798303/what-a-feeling-ravanpreet-kaur

What a feeling
 
I know the feeling....
When you're looking at the ceiling..
So confused about how you would be dealing...
 
Stepping out of your comfort zone
Into a world that's not known
If you feel that you're all alone
Just take time to remember the place where, you were grown....
 
How you ate chips during the classes..
How you threw papers on your classmates..
How you motivated your teammates...
How you sat on the grasses...
 
Look at that star... It will lead you....
If you ever fall... We'll help you...
If you get hate... Don't stop
Cause...they're jealous of you...
 
Stepping out of your comfort zone
Into a world that's not known
If you ever feel that you're all alone
Just take time to remember the place where, you were grown....
 
Look at that star... It will lead you...
If you ever fall... We'll help you...
If you get hate... Don't stop
Cause... they're JEALOUS of you....
They're jealous of you...

[cowparsleyman]

Hi Ravenpreet

Welcome to the forum, it's very interesting to hear your work, it had a distant quality, some of the notes are a little off beam, but I guess you know all about that.

You could also work on the rhythm of the lyrics, something that might make the whole piece flow a little easier.

Hope this helps.

Rich

[SlavaB]

Hello Fella,

Well... sounds like you recording a track on your phone somewhere in leu. Difficult to judge and I don't think it has to be even judged to be honest on that sound quality.

Best Regards,
Slava B.

[pompeyjazz]

Hi Rav. I can hear lots of interesting ideas in this song. You have a very good vocal range and it sounds like you have given this some serious welly in the vocal department. Like others have said,  and I hope you don't mind me saying this but the recording quality is not too hot. There are loads of very cheap or free Digital Audio Workstations or DAWS that would really enhance your music. Personally I would take a little time to get clued up on that side of things and that will bring your music to life. Also, take some time to review a few songs or comment on some posts and I think that you will find that you will learn a lot and also make some good friends 

[adamfarr]

Hey Ravenpreet - you set yourself a really challenging rhyme scheme there and definitely succeeded - just a couple sound a tiny bit forced but that's not so noticeable in the song.
[/size]It's a good concept for the song too - and nice uplifting sentiments.
[/size]Do keep going - next step may be to look at better recording of course. But for the first song it's well written and to me that's the most important thing.

[RAVANPREET KAUR]

Thank you Stadium tour and others for your advice and opinions. I re recorded this song and hope that you all like it


https://soundcloud.com/user-823205343-239798303/what-a-feeling

[pompeyjazz]

A big improvement from the original recording but I would maybe look at using the vocals a bit more sparingly. They are full of emotion which is great. Well done

[RAVANPREET KAUR]

Thank you Stadium Tour.