Going Out

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dinnerwithgreedo

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« on: February 04, 2019, 02:44:30 PM »
Hi guys... haven't been here for a while (long story). I've got a lot of catching up to do.

Here's the last song i wrote. It was inspired when listening to the new White Album remix and the fact that, apparently, i'm incredibly lonely  ;)

Enjoy


Lyrics

Going out tonight
Gonna put the world to rights
[Then i'm] Gonna paint the town
And i'm bringing red paint

[You can] feel it in the air
Gonna wish that you were there
Then i take look around
and i'm standing alone

Coz i'm lonely
Yes i'm lonely
Yeah i'm lonely
x2

Going out tonight
Gonna party 'til daylight
[Then i'll] Find my way back home
And collapse onto bed

I can smell her hair
Gonna wish that she was there
Then i take look around
and i'm sleeping alone

Coz i'm lonely
Yes i'm lonely
Yeah i'm lonely
x2

Fancy my doctor so i asked her out
but she said no and now i'm all alone
Now when i get sick, i gotta roll with it
What am I gonna do?
Fell in love with American girl
But she said "you're from a different world"
Her relgion is no good for me
What am I s'pose to do?

[Was] Going out tonight
But somethings just not right
So i'm gonna stay at home
And I'll watch some TV

But there's nothing on
Starting to think that I was wrong
Then i take look around
and now I'm going out
Coz i'm lonely
Yes i'm lonely
Yeah i'm lonely
['Til end]
« Last Edit: February 04, 2019, 10:57:49 PM by dinnerwithgreedo »
Remember.... it's just my opinion. It doesn't make me right. Although i probably am ;)

Skub

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« Reply #1 on: February 04, 2019, 03:17:35 PM »
Yo DWG

I hear the Beatles influence a mile off and it makes me realise how much I miss their (collective) music.

A lovingly crafted piece and much enjoyed.  8)
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pompeyjazz

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« Reply #2 on: February 04, 2019, 05:20:30 PM »
Hi DWG, Good to hear from you. I can hear the Fabs influences as well, no bad thing at all.

Thought that this was a very well put together piece of music. Like the M8 in particular. Well performed and produced. Nice one  :)

Rightly

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  • and there you have it.
« Reply #3 on: February 05, 2019, 08:57:28 AM »
I really like this
Brings Paul Mccartney (on a good day) to mind.

the falesetto is really sweet.

A very enjoyable listen.

Thanks for sharing
It's either this or that, then again it might be the other. 

And there you have it. 

https://soundcloud.com/rightly/sets/tactiles-remastered

crystalsuzy

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« Reply #4 on: February 05, 2019, 12:48:19 PM »
WOW! You totally captured the Beatles vibe in a very cool way 8)
Love everything about this track, especially the M8...you go in and out of that so smoothly :o
Vocals/BV's are excellent and the lyrics suit the song very well (I hope you're not that lonely though) ;)
there are a lot of us coming out of the wood-work lately, so welcome back @dinnerwithgreedo
fabulous track 8)

RealKevM

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« Reply #5 on: February 06, 2019, 08:40:41 AM »
Great song, the little nuances in your delivery really stood out and help make the song.

kevysc

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« Reply #6 on: February 06, 2019, 11:13:52 AM »
Really good song and I also get the Beatles influence.

One suggestion: I would add a "call and answer" to the chorus i.e.

Coz i'm lonely (yes I'm lonely)
Yes i'm lonely (yes I'm lonely)
Yeah i'm lonely (I'm so lonely)

I think this would give a little more variety to the chorus and hold the interest? (Also, echoes of Lennon and McCartney vocals?)
Perhaps only needed in the second iteration in the chorus, but you would play around with it as the song progresses?

At any rate, really well produced and strong material.


Cheers,


Kevin

MichaelA

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« Reply #7 on: February 06, 2019, 12:23:23 PM »
Starts with a 'Let It Be' vibe, but your vocals are more idiosyncratic than Mr McCartney and suited to this more contemporary era.

The mid break section certainly jumps out and is a fine contrast to the lilting rhythm of the main thing.

Enjoyable ride throughout, finishing off with that clever dual vocal work!

dinnerwithgreedo

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« Reply #8 on: February 09, 2019, 01:17:27 AM »
Thanks everyone,

@kevysc I did think about doing the 'call & answer' thing but decided against because the song is about being lonely. Like you said, there should be something there the second time around but i was hoping it's absence would make it clear i'm alone. I even toyed with having no harmonies!
Maybe i thought about it too much to the detriment of the song.  :'(

@crystalsuzy @pompeyjazz I wish i knew what an M8 is   :P Is it the choir sound?

Remember.... it's just my opinion. It doesn't make me right. Although i probably am ;)

PaulyX

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« Reply #9 on: February 09, 2019, 09:53:44 AM »
Hi there, nice work!
Yep very Fabs vibe - particularly redolent of “Yer Blues” lyrically of course.
M8 = Middle Eight. I also thought that was one of the standout parts of this track - a nice unexpected left turn, like a M8 should deliver. Liked the chords all through. In terms of development I could hear some guitar lines coming in from the second verse and I think I’d shave 45 seconds off the end - fade a bit more quickly as 5 minutes is a bit on the long side? Just suggestions though, I really liked it... got a good playful / serious vibe, and loved how you brought the M8 vocals back in on top of the chorus vocals towards the end.
It's all too beautiful.

dinnerwithgreedo

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« Reply #10 on: February 10, 2019, 10:20:14 PM »
Hey @PaulyX, thanks... i thought M8 was an instrumental sound   :D

Yeah... i like the M8 too. It used to come in earlier but it was very jarring.
Since posting it i have come to realise it's too long... i can get it down to 4min30 easy. Also... i completely forgot to add a bassline!!! So that'll be added soon.
« Last Edit: February 13, 2019, 12:09:37 AM by dinnerwithgreedo »
Remember.... it's just my opinion. It doesn't make me right. Although i probably am ;)