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Cut You Loose - Ashes for Dreams

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Jambrains

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« on: January 19, 2019, 08:34:38 PM »
First song this year from myself and @MonnoDB.

As always, all feedback will be gratefully received if you find the time to listen and comment!

https://soundcloud.com/ashesfordreams/cut-you-loose

You know you're been unhappy all your life
Every win had edges hard as knives
Where I would compromise, you loved to fight
And happiness would lose each time to being right
You know I understand what lies beneath
Your reticence to even once concede
But though you fought the destiny that was assumed
You chose to play the role that damaged you
Cold, hard truth
I hereby cut you loose
No place here
Find somewhere else to be
Fragments of you scatter all around
Fragile once, the fall is now profound
I sometimes catch a glimpse of you before
Even though you don't exist any more
Cold, Hard truth
I hereby cut you loose
No place here
Find somewhere else to be
Music is my madness
It keeps me sane
It seeps out of my pores
Into my brain
And so I write these words
Onto this page
And there they stay
So I can wall away

LostBoy

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« Reply #1 on: January 19, 2019, 11:20:46 PM »
Hey guys,

Very nice! (Your songs are always very nice!!🤪) Karen those harmonies in the chorus are Epic! And Johan, your little riffs in the chorus are perfect, especially as the chorus is sung quite slow...if u get my meaning?🤷🏼‍♂️😄

At first I wasn’t sure if the chorus worked, like you were trying to drag the lyrics out into that big wide space, but by my second listen that feeling had subsided. That opening line in the chorus is a fantastic hook! 😄👍🏻

One thing that did stick out a little Karen is the way you sing, “I hereby cut you loose” , it’s a great line and it’s in tune and all that...it’s just the rhythm of it...it’s like the bv’s are singing it one way and the lead another? (This is a tiny nit! I’m just not articulating myself very well!🤦🏼‍♂️😆) it’s obviously hard to write...I’ll try...i think the lead is singing🎶 “i-here-by-cut-yoooou-looooose.”🎶 ...bear with me...but it’s my humble opinion that it would sound better as....🎶”I-herebycutyooulooooose.” Jeez! Did that work? Or am I coming across as retarded as I feel?🤣 basically quicker.😄👍🏻

That’s all I’ve got though guys. I hope that helps, feel free to completely ignore me.😊🎶👊🏻🎶👊🏻🎶

Yodasdad

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« Reply #2 on: January 20, 2019, 04:43:16 PM »
Very nice...

Feeling the need to label things today, I am going to name this genre..Funkertock!

Great catchy chorus with the down down up first 3 lines (if I'm remembering it right)

Sweet vocals and the whole track's well produced.

Really like the funky riff in the chorus, nice additional hook. Only thing I might do is vary this riff slightly throughout the song.

Nice work both.

Yodasdad.

pompeyjazz

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« Reply #3 on: January 20, 2019, 10:04:54 PM »
This is great @Jambrains and @MonnoDB .It's got a fab alternative vibe with a wonderful funky riff. Top quality playing and vocals. Music is my madness. It keeps me sane. Well, I couldn't agree more  :) Thought that the M8 was sensational with stuff dropping out and unexpected chord progressions. Excellent  :)

MichaelA

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« Reply #4 on: January 20, 2019, 11:14:56 PM »
Wow, well that certainly knocks yer socks off @Jambrains and @MonnoDB. That semi funk rock guitar riff underneath the sustained vocal main melody, esp the chorus, is highly infectious and very powerful.

I like it that you have started this new year with real bite and a truly memorable tune. Well last time one of yours beat me into third place for Song Of The Month on here. With this one, if I even got close to you I would be so proud. Top tune, top performance even though I'm ever so slightly jealous of your incessant creativity and drive. Very good work, bless ya!  ;)
My latest novel: pls check it out!

‘Gavin & The Bodysnatchers’, a quirky comedy crime thriller. Easily found on Amazon.

https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B09GZ7C8M7?ref_=pe_3052080_397514860

cowparsleyman

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« Reply #5 on: January 21, 2019, 12:46:24 PM »
Whato @Jambrains  & @MonnoDB - Sounding really tight (as always), you have a gift of coming up with hooky licks, very talented duo.

Can't offer any improvements except bringing up the drums.

Top stuff Mr J and Mrs M


SlavaB

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« Reply #6 on: January 21, 2019, 01:38:42 PM »
Hi Jambrains,

MoonoDB must be your gold singer, very nice vocal and great instrumental fulfilment.

Great stuff.

Best Regards,
Slava B.

PaulAds

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« Reply #7 on: January 21, 2019, 08:02:08 PM »
Another top-quality song. You've hit a rich seam  :)

Vocals have a lovely haunting quality. Harmonies are great. Really enjoyed the guitar work too.

Nothing to find fault with at all. Keep them coming...I'm really enjoying all your doing these days!
heart of stone, feet of clay, knob of butter

fischermans

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« Reply #8 on: January 22, 2019, 06:13:03 AM »
Congrats to both of you. I also really like the chorus guitar line and the chorus voice line.
Cool song well presented.
Alexander
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Lady Haha

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« Reply #9 on: January 22, 2019, 09:19:22 AM »
I like this- your voice has real depth I think - quite haunting but really good
Well done x

adamfarr

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« Reply #10 on: January 22, 2019, 02:05:45 PM »
Yes, for me that "American" guitarwork was the star. I did have the slight feeling that this one could go a couple of BPM faster (though then that guitar would be super fast...). Just a slight one though... Very nice all together.

Skub

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« Reply #11 on: January 22, 2019, 09:10:16 PM »
I caught this gem on soundcloud a few days ago,man I love this.  8)

The two of you are perfectly musically matched. Johan's inherent rock vibes mixed with the Celtic soul of Karen's magic vocals and lyrics.

'Music is my madness it keeps me sane'. This is my life encapsulated in one finely worded sentence. I'm gonna hold on to this one.

So good it makes me weep.

Outta the park.  8)

RealKevM

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« Reply #12 on: January 23, 2019, 11:42:49 PM »
Very strong and professional vocal. Love the production on this aswell, nice one.

Paulski

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« Reply #13 on: January 24, 2019, 02:36:20 AM »
Great musical talent on display here - beautiful lead vox and harms and the raunchy guitar licks work a treat to the ears. The production is pro level - love the use of the stereo field for interest. I found the chorus to drag a bit with the slow vocal lines - although you mitigate it a bit with the guitar work. Prob just a personal preference so ignore I said that if you like  ;D ;D
Nice collab
Paul

montydog

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« Reply #14 on: January 24, 2019, 03:02:28 PM »
Guys,

Another one out of the top drawer. Not my thing at all but I can hear that this is the product of a lot of skill, dedication and creativity. Cannot fault this - very powerful and a perfect combination of gritty backing and smooth vocal.

Awesome, dude

M