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Vintage54

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« Reply #30 on: February 28, 2019, 08:01:37 AM »
   
    Hello Vicki,
     
         Not been on the forum for a while, so had no idea what you and the family were going through. It can't be easy, and though i'm coming through a little later than all the good people on here, i wish you nothing but the best. A hug on the wind, blowing your way.

                                      Vintage54

Skub

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« Reply #31 on: February 28, 2019, 02:26:20 PM »
It's a long road when you view the horizon,but if you take a step at a time it's amazing how that distance seems nothing,especially looking back.

Great to see Roger up and taking those first steps. Make sure you don't lose sight of your own welfare Vicki.

I'm glad it's a positive update.  :)

Davy.

jacksimmons

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« Reply #32 on: February 28, 2019, 03:44:35 PM »
I don't know how I missed this, but for what it's worth I am thinking of you Vicki and wishing your husband a speedy recovery. And like others have said, make sure you are taking care of yourself, too. It's easy to lose sight of that when you are worrying about others.
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Dogmax

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« Reply #33 on: March 03, 2019, 11:00:47 AM »
Hey Vicki hope you and that old man of your are doing well you're both been help by the best of people, now that your old man is been taught how to walk again maybe when he ready he can try these dance moves, take care both


CaliaMoko

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« Reply #34 on: March 03, 2019, 01:07:23 PM »
Wow, amazing video. He looks like he's doing really well. What a great team effort.

Sorry to hear about your headache, but I'm glad you're taking some time off because of it. That was really sweet of the Uber driver to give you the guitar, and that you're able to fill the time slot because of it. Post a video of your set if you can.

Take care,
Lynn

One of these days maybe I'll get someone to take a video while I play. If I manage that, I will post it.

It's a long road when you view the horizon,but if you take a step at a time it's amazing how that distance seems nothing,especially looking back.

Great to see Roger up and taking those first steps. Make sure you don't lose sight of your own welfare Vicki.

I'm glad it's a positive update.  :)

Davy.

I'm starting to notice time creeping up on me, as I have to make arrangements for what's next when he's discharged.

Hello Vicki,
     
         Not been on the forum for a while, so had no idea what you and the family were going through. It can't be easy, and though i'm coming through a little later than all the good people on here, i wish you nothing but the best. A hug on the wind, blowing your way.

                                      Vintage54

Thanks! I can never have too many hugs.

I don't know how I missed this, but for what it's worth I am thinking of you Vicki and wishing your husband a speedy recovery. And like others have said, make sure you are taking care of yourself, too. It's easy to lose sight of that when you are worrying about others.

Thanks, Jack. A recurring theme "take care of yourself"...some days I do better than others. At least my headache is nearly gone and, even when flaring up occasionally, is nothing like it was for that one horrible week. So I must be doing a little better than I was.

Hey Vicki hope you and that old man of your are doing well you're both been help by the best of people, now that your old man is been taught how to walk again maybe when he ready he can try these dance moves, take care both

Oh, great song! But he was never much interested in dancing, :(

Thanks for all the moral support. It is so helpful to me!

Vicki

digger72

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« Reply #35 on: March 29, 2019, 07:20:05 PM »
Hi Vicki,

Sorry I'm late to this - going through similar things with my brother unfortunately.
Hope your hubby is making great progress and that you are finding time to look after yourself .

Keep battling on and stay strong.

All the best.

Digger

hardtwistmusic

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« Reply #36 on: March 31, 2019, 08:46:35 AM »
Just checking back in to let you know I (we) am/are still thinking of you.  Take it one day at a time, and don't let any days gang up on you.  It's all you can do. 
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Verlon Gates  -  60 plus years old.

CaliaMoko

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« Reply #37 on: April 02, 2019, 04:16:29 AM »
@digger72 : Thanks so much for your encouragement and camaraderie. Life isn't fair but it develops character, right? Looking after myself...yeah, some days better than others, but I think I'm doing pretty well over all.

@hardtwistmusic : Thank you muchly. I've been doing pretty well at the one day at a time approach, although lately I've been feeling a little way behind and struggling to catch up. That's typical for me, though, so I try to keep reminding myself I always feel like I'll never get out from under when there's a lot of chaos and stuff to get done.

Roger is between inpatient and outpatient therapy since Friday and until this coming Thursday. We made it, all by ourselves, about 150 miles on Friday and are now in our temporary apartment where we will live for probably six months to start. I don't know what to expect. Roger will have evaluation/intake visits with physical therapy, speech therapy, and occupational therapy where we hope to get a better idea what we're in for on this second phase of recovery.

He's still in the wheelchair and, in fact, has his very own now. He can stand briefly with support, and his left leg is getting stronger, little by little. Rehab was having him walk with a walker and support for very short distances. He has also started to recover a little movement in his left shoulder. We know the arm and hand will be last to recover movement. And they tell us he will continue to recover indefinitely as long as he keeps working at it.

My headache mostly only hurts when I have a bad coughing fit. And I'm having fewer of those. They started when I was sick about three weeks ago, maybe four? Fever and hurt all over. Started coughing by the time I was better and have had an annoying cough ever since. Allergies keep it going. Coughing so much makes it hard to do any singing, so I haven't been much. At least I don't cough when I'm asleep and I'm sleeping well.

We really appreciate all the kind thoughts and moral support!

Vicki

Boydie

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« Reply #38 on: April 02, 2019, 08:09:14 AM »
Hey VICKI

That is all really encouraging news and *touches wood* it seems like you have turned the corner on the recovery so onwards and upwards

We are all here if you need anything - and if you think writing would help YOU (don’t forget about you in all of this) then I am sure we can sort out a massive Collab to fill in the bits you can’t do at the moment

Thank you for keeping us posted on the progress - you are very much still in thoughts and prayers

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Andreas

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« Reply #39 on: April 02, 2019, 08:42:39 AM »
Hi Vicky!

I'm sorry to hear about what you have gone through lately! I'm glad that he is making progress to recover. Sending all my love and best wishes to you and your family!

Andreas

redrhodie

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« Reply #40 on: May 23, 2019, 02:40:43 PM »
Hey Vicki,

How are things going? I've been thinking about you and Roger, and have been wondering how he's doing?

Hope you're both okay.

Lynn

CaliaMoko

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« Reply #41 on: May 23, 2019, 03:32:02 PM »
@redrhodie ... I have a rant building, but I'll try to stifle it a little bit. I'm developing ideas about how things should be. Like, people are always admonishing me to make sure I "take care of yourself!" But they have no advice for how to do that. Facts of the situation: the guy who had the stroke needs to be fed, bathed, put to bed, gotten up, dressed, undressed, put in the car (which involves disassembling and reassembling and lifting a wheelchair in and out--sometimes multiple times a day), and reassured that he's not "more trouble than I'm worth".

Now, I'm happy to do all those things, but I can't keep going to bed later and getting up too early, and doing everything all day every day with no breaks. Six hours twice a week isn't much for breaks, as I am on call 24 hours a day, seven days a week. Except for those 6 hours twice a week.

Anyway, if I want to do anything that doesn't happen in those two six-hour windows, I have to ask for help. Asking for help is not a comfortable activity, so I mostly don't do it. What we need is an organization, some kind of social structure, that operates as a clearinghouse, or whatever it should be called. Some method I could use to indicate what I need where someone would see it and offer to help. Like, I want to go to a gathering of musicians on June 15, but I can't leave Roger by himself while I'm gone. So I post (if it's online) when I need help and what kind, and someone who is available responds.

Okay, enough of that. Overall things are going pretty fair. It's tough, but we keep going. He has recently started spontaneously trying to do more things on his own. And he asked the physical therapist about mowing grass and got clearance to try it on a riding lawn mower, as long as he stays on flat ground and goes slow.

As far as being okay, we have some days that are better than others, but we get through them. I'm trying hard to get back into more musical activities, which is, I think, somewhat successful and certainly helps my mood. An old college buddy I used to sing and play with has reappeared and wants to get together as much as possible to sing and play. We've already played for people twice the past couple weeks. He's coming for a serious rehearsal next week. He lives an hour away, so we can't get together very frequently. For Roger, if he can mow grass successfully, he'll feel better about himself, I think, as right now he tends to feel a lot like a waste of space because he can't do anything productive.

A woman, in the area here where we are living temporarily, asked me to join her for a gig she had (which was last night and was a lot of fun). It's an annual event and the person who usually plays with her was out of town, so I was the lucky substitute. That was even a paying gig. She took the bull by the horns and found someone to visit with Roger for the duration, so that was quite nice.

Roger continues to make progress with his therapy. And because of all the heavy lifting, pushing, pulling, etc, I have to do repeatedly, I've started working out while he's at therapy. I like being with him at therapy because then I know what he should be doing between sessions, but I'll have to let him take charge of that himself because I need the workouts.

It helps that we've gotten more or less settled into the apartment where we're staying for now and have developed some routines for getting things done.

So, that all probably much more than answers your question....hope I didn't overwhelm you. And thanks for asking! It helps me feel like I'm still part of the population of earth.

Vicki
« Last Edit: May 23, 2019, 08:40:17 PM by CaliaMoko »

redrhodie

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« Reply #42 on: May 23, 2019, 03:55:17 PM »
Hi Vicki,

That answers some questions, but I have to ask why there isn't a healthcare aid coming in to help? I assume you'd be doing that if you could, so that's not an option? I'm afraid I know the answer already. 😫

I started a new job recently, and my boss's son, who comes to keep me company while I work, has cerebral palsy and has been in a wheelchair his whole life, so I'm beginning to understand the mobility issues associated with that. Nate is small in stature and has a full time caregiver who is physically very strong and has been trained to work with him. I can see why you need to workout if you're doing this all by yourself. That must be so hard.

I'm really glad you got to gig last night. That sounds special. I hope things continue to improve. I won't say to take care of yourself. 😉 I know you're tired of hearing that. I hope someone takes care of you, offers to help, gives you a break. I'd come and sit with him if I was there. I enjoy doing that with Nate. You might think you're putting your friends and family out by asking, but I'm sure it's good for them to help. If anyone offers, take them up on it. They mean it.






CaliaMoko

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« Reply #43 on: May 23, 2019, 08:47:58 PM »
Hi Vicki,

That answers some questions, but I have to ask why there isn't a healthcare aid coming in to help?

Well, as it happens, I think there is good news on that topic. Things do not move quickly, and it seems like forever, but I believe we will be getting a home health aide once a week. It isn't final yet, so I suppose something could happen to botch it up (like someone deciding we don't really need it, maybe?) but it does sound pretty likely. So that will take care of one bath/shower a week. Assuming it comes to pass.

And this week, he finally got onto the whirlpool bath schedule at the adult day services center he goes to every Tuesday and Thursday. So that, assuming they remember to keep him on the schedule every week, will take care of another bath a week. I think we can maybe make do with sponging off the rest of the time, unless we have a messy "incident".

Things do keep getting better. And as he gets stronger, it will be easier all around.

By the way, I read through my post (the one before this one) just now and...I didn't realize how much of a rant it was. I guess my pressure was up and I needed to let off a little steam.

I'm finding moral support is very important, too. So thanks for checking in with me. It helps.

Vicki

redrhodie

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« Reply #44 on: May 23, 2019, 09:30:43 PM »
If it was a rant (I didn't see it that way), it is understandable. It sounds really hard. I hope there is some help coming. Bathing must be so difficult. I'll keep my fingers crossed that you get the aide, and the weekly whirlpool bath. And of course that he continues to improve.

Please keep updating when you have news or need to vent.

Lynn