[Wicked Deeds]

I was going to invest a great deal of time in the production of this song but my life is way to busy so I kept this to acoustic guitar, bass and drums with one or two minimal extras of strings and piano.  This is a song that I've nursed for about a week.  It's a song of lust and love. This is 'hopes and fears.'

https://soundcloud.com/pvasey1/hopes-and-fears-1

Updated: https://soundcloud.com/pvasey1/hopes-and-fears

Hopes and fears

Here she comes with her Mona-Lisa smile.
She's the one one I choose to complicate my lifestyle.
Here she comes with her beautiful brown hair.
It's late, I'm tired yet she's focused on her skin-care.

I'm in love with her velvet skin, her eyes of sin.
Undressed, 'neath the chandelier,
our hopes and fears are found.

Here she comes with her Bridget Bardot charm.
I might as well report her to The Gendarme.
Casually, her clothes fall from her frame
It's late, I'm tired, yet I'm waiting on the end-game.

I'm in love with her velvet skin, her eyes of sin.
Undressed, 'neath the chandelier,
our hopes and fears are found,
our hopes and fears are found.

Her sultry eyes have woken my sleepy head.
I bide my time then I say "Hey hun, come to bed."
I wait for her to say "love me do, the way that I love you too."

I'm in love with her velvet skin, her eyes of sin.
Undressed, 'neath the chandelier,
our hopes and fears are found,
our hopes and fears are found,
Our hopes and fears are found.

Wicked Deeds January 2019

Original: https://soundcloud.com/pvasey1/hopes-and-fears-1

Updated: https://soundcloud.com/pvasey1/hopes-and-fears

[MonnoDB]

"She's the one I choose to complicate my lifestyle".. lovely line.. No pain, no gain, eh??

Intriguing lyrically, I'm liking that you're going for chandeliers and Bardot!

Chorus is just lovely - loving the chord progression..

An inviting song and for what it's worth, I like the production / pared back arrangement you've chosen. I think it works very well.. Lovely!

[fischermans]

Hey Paul very good song here. Like the lyrics a lot. For me it is not necessary to invest more time in production.Love it as it is. Clear message well deserved.
Alexander

[LostBoy]

Hi mate,
Very nice!! Lovely melody. I also love that "complicate my lifestyle" line. Great lyrics! Only thing I wasn't crazy about was the feedbacky noise that u have periodically...it sounds a little harsh in the mix on my Apple earpods.

Hope this helps mate. 👍🏻

[adamfarr]

I still really love those verse lyrics - really playful and original!


You have some quite dark chords and rhythms going on there which give a very interesting and unique feel. I like the pace of it as well, something quite breathless and driven. I also wouldn't add more layers.


Nice new direction from you!

[Skub]

Yo Paul.

I love your use of that subtle feedback sound which comes and goes. Little touches like that are inspired and take a song out of the ordinary.

I don't believe it needs any further production,it's just lovely as it is. 

[PaulAds]

Very nice indeed.

I don't think it needs anything else either...there's more than enough goodness here for one song.

I loved the way you play with the line lengths and the sort of push-pull thing you did with the chorus backing vocal... If that makes any sense!

You sing like you ARE somebody... Which of course you are...but I mean like a "star" would... I say that even though I know it's going to sound a bit dopey. It's like you know exactly how you want to sound and you always hit the spot.

[Neil C]

Paul,
Good upbeat yet delicate rich pop tune.
Like the picture you're painting lyrically, well served by your vocals.
and great little atmospheric touches add a bit of class too.
 
neil 

[Wicked Deeds]

@MonnoDB,

'She's the one I choose to complicate my lifestyle' - as I wrote that lyric, I realised I had tapped into a more playful writing style, one that had abandoned me for a little while.  It's not the production that I envisaged but I wanted to put something out there quickly. 

Paul

@fischermans, it's great that's people are paying more attention to the song than the production. Thank you.

Paul

@LostBoy, thank you for reviewing,  gave the lyrics a little extra attention. It was a deliberate ploy to rhyme one syllable words with two, whilst still capturing the message that I wanted to.  the synth sound may be a little like marmite :-)

Paul

@adamfarr, do pleased that you picked up on th tempo. A deliberate attempt to wake myself up as a contender to write for a band as a I always used to in the past.  You have obviously been payed a great deal of attention to the lyrics and for that, I thank you.  By the way, this would have been a great partner song for  'le a Rock 'n' Roll. Don't you think?

Paul

Skub, thanks for reviewing my friend. So pleased that you enjoyed the synth/feedback sound.

Paul

@PaulAds,

Thank you so much my friend.  It took a long time for me to be  happy with my vocals.  In the past,  I was spoiled as I wrote for a fantastic vocalist in my band in Hartlepool.  When I stopped writing for the band,  I started to believe that no one can deliver a song with quite the same emotion as the writer and I now take comfort in that. I write within my range. I do know exactly what I am trying to achieve and with time and dedication, it is achievable.  I know that this song has more more mileage so I'll revisit the production to tick all of my musical boxes. I am blown away by your comment my friend.

Paul

@Neil C,

Really appreciate your review my friend. Mostly, this is about the writing, which I believe Is the foundation to any recording.  The  production took care of itself. A little more attention, should elevate this to a different stage.

Thank you

Paul

[Wicked Deeds]

An updated version, closer to my original vision for this song:

https://soundcloud.com/pvasey1/hopes-and-fears

Unfortunately in mp3 format so unfortunately suffers from soundcloud compression but still, it is nearer to what I intended.

Paul

[pompeyjazz]

Sounding Good Paul, some lovely chord changes

[Yodasdad]

I've not read through the previous comments to see what was suggested that led to the updated version.

I'm torn between the two at the moment...

The updated version has a better clarity and overall sound quality but occassionally I felt this caused the instruments to compete slightly with the vocal, in a way that they didn't in the original.

What didn't work for me in the updated version was when the instruments droped away sudddenly to just leave vocals and bass, around 0:48. I think maybe just let the instuments ring or something so that they are still providing a foundation, but there is still that uncrowding contrast.

The song itself... gets better with each listen for me. Some very well placed and thought out lyrics that create great imagery with minimal word usage (mona Lisa/Bridget...)

Melodically interesting and catchy and I particularly liked what you did with the contrasting accompaniment at 1:52.

Nice work

Yodasdad.

[Wicked Deeds]

@pompeyjazz ,

Thanks for listening.

@Yodasdad,

Thanks for your considered opinion re dynamics.  The section where the instruments drop away and leave the bass in isolation - I was wondering about that myself.  I've been back Tom my Daw, added some delay to quite good effect. I kind of like the space where drums, bass and vocals coexist but acknowledge that something very simple is needed as I don't want to lose the dynamic that's space creates. 

Paul