konalavadome

Volcano

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LostBoy

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« on: January 14, 2019, 10:52:53 AM »
Hi guys,

Something a bit different from me on this one. I hope you like it. I had the title for ages and finally got around to writing it. It may or may not be about the crappy vending machine at my local swimming pool!!! That bugger owes me £3 and a stuck packet of Quavers!! RAGE I tell you!!! 🤣🤣🤣🤣

All thoughts are welcome, did I sell the topic enough vocally?? Is the mix ok? Lyrics?

Thanks very much as always...

https://soundcloud.com/leo-b-5/volcano

Lyrics.

Sometimes it feels like I’m losing myself
So tired of the battles that rage in my head
Can anyone offer a light in the darkness?
Can anyone show me how to close my mind
The pressure rises up to the surface
Can’t let go...want to though...volcano
Volcano...I’m better than that.

Sometimes it feels like the worlds in my face
Can’t reason with demons, they leap on my faith
Does anyone out there have the answer?
Can anyone show me how to free my mind
I’m trapped inside becoming an island
Can’t let go...want to though...volcano
VOLCANO...I’m better than that.

Volcano looming underneath
I keep fighting it, I don’t wanna lose control
So stop trying to make a mountain out of me
You can’t, I’m not gonna go volcano
Volcano boiling over me
I keep fighting it, I don’t wanna lose it all
So quit trying to make a mountain of a scene
Step back, I don’t wanna go Volcano.

cowparsleyman

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« Reply #1 on: January 14, 2019, 12:40:06 PM »
Whato @LostBoy - I really dig your production, just when I think...."I'd do that" - then it happens...cool synergy.

With regard with the LVox I think it could come up a bit, and it sounds a bit dry, maybe a touch of plate verb, probably bung a microshift/harmoniser on the BVox. @3:03 Maybe something a bit bigger and wider on beat 3.

There is space for tiny little touches, things that would take a lot of time, like Depeche Mode would do...

Great Vocal line.

A wild solo gtr would erupt well, leaving the listener running for their lives and scared to death. Very nice work Leo...

Hope it helps

Rich

The Portrait Piano

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« Reply #2 on: January 14, 2019, 04:36:29 PM »
Is all that passion for and angst really about a packet of quavers? Sounds like it's more like monster munch lol!

I really like the music progressions & passionate vocals. Great song.

mikek

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« Reply #3 on: January 14, 2019, 07:48:05 PM »
Mix is good to my ear.

Cool tune. I really like the way the first 2 lines of each verse kind of snake their way around that melody. Your delivery is patient, exactly what it calls for.

In the 2nd verse when you say becoming, that delivery seemed awkward. Maybe consider taking another tack on that somehow so it doeant stumble.

Not my genre, but very good I think


Oh, one more thought...

You could dial up that crescendo on VOLCANO even more on the 2nd time through the chorus.
« Last Edit: January 14, 2019, 07:50:15 PM by mikek »

Yodasdad

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« Reply #4 on: January 14, 2019, 10:59:08 PM »
Awesome track @LostBoy, very current in its style and production.

If commercial success as a songwriter and/or artist is what you're going for, which is something I think you're capable of achieving, I personally think this is the direction you should be going in.

To contradict that, from a personal listening perspective, I prefer your slightly more traditional and organic stuff like time machine and northern lights, but then I'm not your target audience if you're trying to break through in 2019.

The only thing that didn't quite do it for me was th 4 to the floor kick when it came in I'd have preferred something a bit more sporadic and dramatic there I think.

Still a great song well executed though 👍

Yodasdad.

fischermans

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« Reply #5 on: January 15, 2019, 06:42:29 AM »
Great track well deserved from a great voice.
I'm only wondering if it could sound better if you use the reverb? or echo? on the voice more sparingly. Means only on one line or on one word for example on the word volcano. But I'm not sure.
Well done, very good song like it a lot
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adamfarr

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« Reply #6 on: January 15, 2019, 06:43:20 AM »
Great song and delivery - I really like the controlled angsty nature, it would have been easy to really let fly and I think that would have been a mistake. The pace is quite eerie and adds to the emotion and suspense.


The song concept is great - I like the "go volcano" turn of phrase.


The keys at around 2'18" sound a little too "nice" - I think they break the mood a touch, maybe something slightly more ominous could match better?


Anyhow, just a great offering from you, yet again.

Binladeda

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« Reply #7 on: January 15, 2019, 07:33:28 AM »

 Hey Leo  ;D . Happy New Year   ;D

 Another classy vocal and song.  Some nice stuff going on in the background, gives a
 real feel of something bubbling under the surface, and accompanies the vocal really well.
 I thought the musical build was a bit 'shy', compared to the vocal....didn't quite get there for me ::)
 Was left with a bit of an 'unfulfilled' feeling.  Was expecting something a bit more dramatic around
 2.00.....don't know what though ;D .  Just wanted a bigger/louder eruption ;D ;D .   maybe some
 syncopated timpani/tubular bells might work.......don't know ::) .  Not that it matters, it's a mighty
 fine song as it is......just thinking out loud mate ;D

 Loved it...


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RealKevM

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« Reply #8 on: January 15, 2019, 11:06:55 AM »
Amazing vocal tone and delivery. I love the whole feel and mood of the song. The contemporary beat is spot on too. Good work dude.

MichaelA

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« Reply #9 on: January 15, 2019, 12:01:15 PM »
Cool departure for you and it was good to hear a darker side to your repertoire, letting your inner monster out!

I liked how it built mostly, except knowing your vocal prowess, I thought when the Volcano chorus came in at 2 mins it would explode into harmonies, which would be really powerful to my mind anyway.

I did like the dark synth undertones and quite menacing atmosphere created, and the vocal embellishments at the end were very cool and added another dimension.

Another piece of very solid work from you though, well done!  ;)
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Skub

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« Reply #10 on: January 15, 2019, 04:19:42 PM »
Yo Leo.

It's always good to see another song from you on the forum.

I dig the melancholy,almost underlying sinister feel on the first part of the song. A perfect picture of the mental torture hinted at in the lyrics. From around 2.12 on,when the song changes direction,I think it loses that darker vibe and goes a bit lightweight pop,which would be great if that's how it had started.

It's almost like there are two songs,that almost fit together and both of them are well up to your usual standard,but together they jar a little for me.

Anyway,everyone's a critic,right?  :D

Just my opinion Leo,I hope I've not offended.  :)

pompeyjazz

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« Reply #11 on: January 15, 2019, 05:34:54 PM »
I like the feel to this Leo. A bit of a departure from your usual songs. I'm getting a Dave Gahn feel to this at first. Like the dark synths. It does tend to go a bit more upbeat after that. I wasn't too sure if that worked on first listen but after listening again I think it does. Its sort of late Depeche Mode meets early Depeche Mode.

Vocals top quality as usual - Would we expect anything else

Tope work Leo  :)

Wicked Deeds

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« Reply #12 on: January 15, 2019, 06:39:16 PM »
Love the dark cello and bubbling synth sounds. They both create a distinct sinister feeling.  Shades of seal here.  Th production I say top notch and the song I sent equally good. Nothing to critique as far as I'm concerned. I was able Tom sit back and listen to you perform at your ver you best!

Paul

LostBoy

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« Reply #13 on: January 16, 2019, 09:25:39 AM »
@cowparsleyman thanks Rich! Ha, whose got time for things that take a lot of time??🤣🎶👊🏻🎶 yes, there’s definitely more that can be done to it though I agree.👍🏻

@The Portrait Piano haha!! Yep, Monster munch would def put me over the edge for sure!! Thanks! 🤣🎶👊🏻🎶

@mikek Thanks Mike, I appreciate the feedback mate! 🎶👊🏻🎶😄

@yodasdad thanks for your really encouraging words mate! I do appreciate it.😄🙏🏻🎶👊🏻🎶

@fischermans thank you for listening and commenting mate.😄🎶👊🏻🎶

@adamfarr Hi Adam, thanks mate, yeah I really wrestled with the second half of this track and although I LOVE what I stumbled upon with the arp, I too wasn’t sure if the sound of it fit, but I couldn’t find anything else that sounded better and in the end it just grew on me I guess. I figured this might be the “marmite” part of the track though.😆👍🏻

cowparsleyman

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« Reply #14 on: January 16, 2019, 09:57:21 AM »
@LostBoy - Quavers every time, although I like em dotted.