Lyrics Needed. Mamas and Papas Style Tune?

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bigFishAndTheSmallPondets

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« on: January 10, 2019, 07:23:40 AM »
I wanted to write something tuneful, something the Beatles might have come up with in the earlier years of the Sixties. For now, I’ve used a computer to synthesise the music. I may come back to this and record it properly.

I decided the melody worked best as a duet for male and female vocals (respectively synthesised here as oboe and flute). I initially wanted something with a slightly bluesy edge, but I think the song ended being more reminiscent of the Mamas and the Papas (at least in my own opinion).

The tune is there, but I’ve left the lyrics as of yet unwritten. I wondered if anyone would be interested in suggesting some. Thanks!

http://tinyurl.com/ya2jphss


CaliaMoko

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« Reply #1 on: January 10, 2019, 05:46:40 PM »
I think it's a cute sound; I like it. The first idea that popped into my mind was a parent getting a kid up for school. Kids sings, "I don't wanna go to school". And parent maybe sings, "I know you don't but that's the rule."

When singing together could be something like, "Wouldn't it be nice if we could do whatever we want."
Kid: "I would stay home from school."
Parent: "And I wouldn't have to cook for you."

Etc, etc. It would work, although, the rhythms would have to be adjusted a little. But I doubt you had anything like this in mine.  ;D :P ::)

Thinking about the Beatles and the Mamas and Papas...a more likely theme would have to do with romance or world peace or something like that. Maybe something along the lines of:

#1: I have traveled everywhere.
#2: So why don't you settle down?
#1: Oh, I like it on my own
#2. You could try it just for a while.

Both: There's a lot we could say
Both: But we'll never agree

#1: Because I don't like standing still
#2: And I know I want something real.

Okay, a lot of those words don't really work all that well, but there's ideas there you could use, if any of it appeals to you. And the second example fits your rhythm better.

Vicki

hardtwistmusic

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« Reply #2 on: January 11, 2019, 07:48:02 AM »
Here is a failed lyric from a few years ago that fits your music.  It failed because of my music - not because of the lyric.  This is not the same lyric. . . but based upon the old one.  Customized to your music.  Makes a simpler, more basic lyric.   

Let me know if you would like to hear it sung with your music.  Or a-capella.  Or not at all. 

OKAY OKLAHOMA

4 measure lead in. 

I know California wants me.  –   Arizona wants me gone.
Gettin that familiar feeling     –    Time to be movin along. 

4 measure musical bridge: 

I’ve worn out every welcome.    –   Arizona to Idaho.
Somewhere nobody knows me    –  is where I’ll be wantin to go. 

Chorus: 
I’m Thinkin bout Oklahoma.   –  Thought about Tennessee.
I considered North Dakota, but   –  that’s too damned cold for me.
Okay Oklahoma.    ---   Oklahoma here I come. 
Oklahoma brace yourself,     –-    for your new native son.

Fellow I found on Craigslist    –   had a one way ticket to Muskogee. 
I bought it real fast.  No questions asked.   –   Now I’m footloose and fancy free. 

Won’t tell nobody I’m leaving.     –   I’ve got no friends to notify.
I won’t find the guys I owe money to.    –    I won’t even try.   

Chorus: 
I’m Thinkin bout Oklahoma.   –  Thought about Tennessee.
I considered North Dakota, but   –   that’s too damned cold for me.
Okay Oklahoma.    ---   Oklahoma here I come. 
Oklahoma brace yourself,     –-    for your new native son.


Don’t know a soul in Oklahoma.    –   Didn’t know anybody here. 
Six of one – half a dozen of the other.   –   They all sell ice cold beer.

I know California wants me.   –   Arizona wants me gone. 

www.reverbnation.com/hardtwistmusicsongwriter

Verlon Gates  -  60 plus years old.

Orange Mississippi

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« Reply #3 on: January 11, 2019, 09:19:29 AM »
Just had a very quick 5 min go at this ,I could imagine the Beatles messing about on the beach

Buckets and spades

Buckets and spades are free
Let’s all go down ,to the beach
I hear the sun is coming as well
the rain is staying at home

the sea says come on in
I’m not gonna to be cold today
buckets and spades are free
let’s all go down to the beach

Let’s all have a 99
and bury ourselves in the sand
buckets and spades are free
it’s fun to be kids again

Buckets and spades are free
Let’s all go down ,to the beach
Buckets and spades are free
Let’s all go down ,to the beach




bigFishAndTheSmallPondets

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« Reply #4 on: January 15, 2019, 06:47:02 AM »
I think it's a cute sound; I like it. The first idea that popped into my mind was a parent getting a kid up for school. Kids sings, "I don't wanna go to school". And parent maybe sings, "I know you don't but that's the rule."

When singing together could be something like, "Wouldn't it be nice if we could do whatever we want."
Kid: "I would stay home from school."
Parent: "And I wouldn't have to cook for you."

Etc, etc. It would work, although, the rhythms would have to be adjusted a little. But I doubt you had anything like this in mine.  ;D :P ::)

Thinking about the Beatles and the Mamas and Papas...a more likely theme would have to do with romance or world peace or something like that. Maybe something along the lines of:

#1: I have traveled everywhere.
#2: So why don't you settle down?
#1: Oh, I like it on my own
#2. You could try it just for a while.

Both: There's a lot we could say
Both: But we'll never agree

#1: Because I don't like standing still
#2: And I know I want something real.

Okay, a lot of those words don't really work all that well, but there's ideas there you could use, if any of it appeals to you. And the second example fits your rhythm better.

Vicki


Thanks so much for this. My initial thought was for the top part to be sung by a female. However, I have to admit, the suggestion of it being sung by a child is surprising but also quite interesting. As the song does have a cute and sweet feel to it, I could actually picture this working well, maybe even as a Disney song.

The more conventional boy/girl lyrics are also very interesting. I imagined they'd be singing of love and unity but the idea of balancing this with a dash of conflicted ideals gives the song a nice twist.

Thanks again. Very thoughtful and I really appreciate your input.

bigFishAndTheSmallPondets

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« Reply #5 on: January 15, 2019, 06:53:08 AM »
Here is a failed lyric from a few years ago that fits your music.  It failed because of my music - not because of the lyric.  This is not the same lyric. . . but based upon the old one.  Customized to your music.  Makes a simpler, more basic lyric.   

Let me know if you would like to hear it sung with your music.  Or a-capella.  Or not at all. 

OKAY OKLAHOMA

4 measure lead in. 

I know California wants me.  –   Arizona wants me gone.
Gettin that familiar feeling     –    Time to be movin along. 

4 measure musical bridge: 

I’ve worn out every welcome.    –   Arizona to Idaho.
Somewhere nobody knows me    –  is where I’ll be wantin to go. 

Chorus: 
I’m Thinkin bout Oklahoma.   –  Thought about Tennessee.
I considered North Dakota, but   –  that’s too damned cold for me.
Okay Oklahoma.    ---   Oklahoma here I come. 
Oklahoma brace yourself,     –-    for your new native son.

Fellow I found on Craigslist    –   had a one way ticket to Muskogee. 
I bought it real fast.  No questions asked.   –   Now I’m footloose and fancy free. 

Won’t tell nobody I’m leaving.     –   I’ve got no friends to notify.
I won’t find the guys I owe money to.    –    I won’t even try.   

Chorus: 
I’m Thinkin bout Oklahoma.   –  Thought about Tennessee.
I considered North Dakota, but   –   that’s too damned cold for me.
Okay Oklahoma.    ---   Oklahoma here I come. 
Oklahoma brace yourself,     –-    for your new native son.


Don’t know a soul in Oklahoma.    –   Didn’t know anybody here. 
Six of one – half a dozen of the other.   –   They all sell ice cold beer.

I know California wants me.   –   Arizona wants me gone.

Your lyrics are fun and light hearted which I personally think mirrors the melody very well. Thank you for this. Much appreciated.

Please go right ahead and sing away. I have to say I’m most flattered you think the music is good enough to actually submit a vocal performance of it. Thank you, too kind. Would it help for me to remove any parts from the demo so you can sing on top please?

bigFishAndTheSmallPondets

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« Reply #6 on: January 15, 2019, 06:57:24 AM »
Just had a very quick 5 min go at this ,I could imagine the Beatles messing about on the beach

Buckets and spades

Buckets and spades are free
Let’s all go down ,to the beach
I hear the sun is coming as well
the rain is staying at home

the sea says come on in
I’m not gonna to be cold today
buckets and spades are free
let’s all go down to the beach

Let’s all have a 99
and bury ourselves in the sand
buckets and spades are free
it’s fun to be kids again

Buckets and spades are free
Let’s all go down ,to the beach
Buckets and spades are free
Let’s all go down ,to the beach

As with hardtwistmusic's suggestion, you've enhanced that feeling of light-hearted fun in the song. A real ray of sunshine! Thank you!

hardtwistmusic

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« Reply #7 on: January 17, 2019, 09:01:21 AM »


 Would it help for me to remove any parts from the demo so you can sing on top please?

No need.  I left the louder parts for musical bridges.  What WOULD help is an mp3 version e-mailed to me.  I can't make the version you sent load to a memory stick to take to the recording station. . . and the WAV file is too big to e-mail.  If you're willing to get me the mp3 version, let me know and I'll get you an e-mail address on private messaging.
www.reverbnation.com/hardtwistmusicsongwriter

Verlon Gates  -  60 plus years old.

bigFishAndTheSmallPondets

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« Reply #8 on: February 05, 2019, 06:56:55 AM »


 Would it help for me to remove any parts from the demo so you can sing on top please?

No need.  I left the louder parts for musical bridges.  What WOULD help is an mp3 version e-mailed to me.  I can't make the version you sent load to a memory stick to take to the recording station. . . and the WAV file is too big to e-mail.  If you're willing to get me the mp3 version, let me know and I'll get you an e-mail address on private messaging.

Hi @hardtwistmusic . Really so sorry. This has taken far too long. It's here:

https://tinyurl.com/y74zsqkq

hardtwistmusic

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« Reply #9 on: February 07, 2019, 07:16:31 PM »


 Would it help for me to remove any parts from the demo so you can sing on top please?

No need.  I left the louder parts for musical bridges.  What WOULD help is an mp3 version e-mailed to me.  I can't make the version you sent load to a memory stick to take to the recording station. . . and the WAV file is too big to e-mail.  If you're willing to get me the mp3 version, let me know and I'll get you an e-mail address on private messaging.

Hi @hardtwistmusic . Really so sorry. This has taken far too long. It's here:

https://tinyurl.com/y74zsqkq

Got it done.  I'll try to post it to my secondary site and get you a listen.  If you want it posted anywhere, let me know.  It's not on there yet, but later today, it will be.   www.reverbnation.com/HardTwistMusicworksinprogress
www.reverbnation.com/hardtwistmusicsongwriter

Verlon Gates  -  60 plus years old.

hardtwistmusic

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« Reply #10 on: February 08, 2019, 07:25:10 AM »
https://www.reverbnation.com/artist/htmworksinprogress

Okay... it had been so long since I was on this secondary song site that I forgot the address.  This one should work. 
www.reverbnation.com/hardtwistmusicsongwriter

Verlon Gates  -  60 plus years old.

bigFishAndTheSmallPondets

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« Reply #11 on: February 11, 2019, 08:25:49 AM »
https://www.reverbnation.com/artist/htmworksinprogress

Okay... it had been so long since I was on this secondary song site that I forgot the address.  This one should work.

There's no better compliment for your song then for someone to sing it (especially if they do it for free). You've done me a great honour and a wonderful job of singing the song. Thank you so much. Great fun to listen to.