Songwriter Forum > Feedback on Finished songs
Desert - new tune
Neil C:
Hi,
Here's a gentle little tune I co-wrote as part of FAWN in 2017. I've always liked it but thought I could do a better vocals, however its time to let it go and hear what you all think.
:)
Neil
https://soundcloud.com/neilconnor-2/whitewash-master-18-feb-2017
Desert
Been so long since I made the great escape
Couldn’t stay ’cause I'll never be a slave
And I’ve been searching
I’ve been searching
And hoping one day I’ll find my place
In the desert
I’m in the desert
In the desert
But I know it’s gonna rain
Like many I have struggled with my faith
Feel the sun but I don’t understand its rays
Sometimes I’m straying
And then I’m praying
Hoping one day soon I’ll be okay
In the desert
I’m in the desert
In the desert
But I know it’s gonna rain
I’ve had to overcome so many hurdles
Still it seems I’m going round in circles
I’m looking for someone to come and take me by the hand
And lead me from this desert
Into the Promised Land
In the desert
I’m in the desert
In the desert
But I know it’s gonna rain
c 2017 haberman/connor
crystalsuzy:
this is really beautiful Neil...so delicate, and even though your in the desert, it sounds sweet and somehow comforting :)
I love the delicate guitars and I think your vocals sound great...the harmonies are really nice :)
I think this is one of my favs of yours :)
PaulAds:
Sweet as a nut, Neil...
Harmonies are great and those clean guitars are lovely. Nice hook too.
Are you doing FAWM again?
pompeyjazz:
Lovely Neil. Super guitars and vocals sounding really good. Tasty solo and great atmospheric track
fischermans:
Hello Neil, nice harmonies there and good guitar playing. Singing is very good.Only thing I would criticise is the repeating in the chorus.
In the desert
I’m in the desert
In the desert
May it's only me but may it's worse to work on the chorus again.
Well done mate.
Alexander
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