konalavadome

Desert - new tune

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Neil C

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« on: January 09, 2019, 09:49:36 AM »
Hi,
Here's a gentle little tune I co-wrote as part of FAWN in 2017. I've always liked it but thought I could do a better vocals, however its time to let it go and hear what you all think.
 :)
Neil

https://soundcloud.com/neilconnor-2/whitewash-master-18-feb-2017

Desert

Been so long since I made the great escape
Couldn’t stay ’cause I'll never be a slave
And I’ve been searching
I’ve been searching
And hoping one day I’ll find my place

In the desert
I’m in the desert
In the desert
But I know it’s gonna rain

Like many I have struggled with my faith
Feel the sun but I don’t understand its rays
Sometimes I’m straying
And then I’m praying
Hoping one day soon I’ll be okay

In the desert
I’m in the desert
In the desert
But I know it’s gonna rain

I’ve had to overcome so many hurdles
Still it seems I’m going round in circles
I’m looking for someone to come and take me by the hand
And lead me from this desert
Into the Promised Land

In the desert
I’m in the desert
In the desert
But I know it’s gonna rain

c 2017 haberman/connor
songwriter of no repute..

crystalsuzy

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« Reply #1 on: January 09, 2019, 12:37:59 PM »
this is really beautiful Neil...so delicate, and even though your in the desert, it sounds sweet and somehow comforting  :)
I love the delicate guitars and I think your vocals sound great...the harmonies are really nice :)
I think this is one of my favs of yours :)

PaulAds

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« Reply #2 on: January 09, 2019, 01:06:52 PM »
Sweet as a nut, Neil...

Harmonies are great and those clean guitars are lovely. Nice hook too.

Are you doing FAWM again?

pompeyjazz

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« Reply #3 on: January 09, 2019, 02:41:36 PM »
Lovely Neil. Super guitars and vocals sounding really good. Tasty solo and great atmospheric track

fischermans

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« Reply #4 on: January 09, 2019, 08:02:31 PM »
Hello Neil, nice harmonies there and good guitar playing. Singing is very good.Only thing I would criticise is the repeating in the chorus.
In the desert
I’m in the desert
In the desert
May it's only me but may it's worse to work on the chorus again.
Well done mate.
Alexander
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montydog

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« Reply #5 on: January 10, 2019, 03:02:51 PM »
Hi Neil,

I like the concept of being in a bad place but knowing it will end is what keeps you going. I would have maybe used another line in the chorus rather than repeating the "I'm in the desert" line. The musical setting is gorgeous and the solo at 2:34 is simply beautiful. Your vocal is great if a little wobbly here and there.

A lovely, relaxing listen.

M

PaulyX

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« Reply #6 on: January 10, 2019, 08:32:51 PM »
Nice work Neil, reminded me at times of Lloyd Cole... especially that lovely filigree solo and the outro licks. Those guitars are the stars for me in this... could listen to them all night. Liked the positivity of the lyrics too.
It's all too beautiful.

Movin Flavour

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« Reply #7 on: January 11, 2019, 09:21:43 PM »
A great tune, glad you let it go.

Paints a picture really well.

Cool lyrics and excellent guitars at the end.

An enjoyable listen.


Sandeep


Paulski

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« Reply #8 on: January 12, 2019, 03:18:13 AM »
For a minute there I thought it was a bin groove starting up  ;D
This has a great laid-back feel to it Neil, and I love the guitar solos - soulful!
If it wasn't for the solos I'd be whining about length but they carry it through IMO.
Enjoyed it muchly - good write  ;D
Paul

Skub

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« Reply #9 on: January 12, 2019, 05:22:49 PM »
Yo Neil.

Lovely Knopfler style tones are very easy on the ear.

The vocals waver a little here and there,I reckon you could do a better take. Still it ain't no biggy and the song stands proud as it is.

There is a bit of David Gilmour about your vocals too,which can't be bad.
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hardtwistmusic

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« Reply #10 on: January 13, 2019, 08:13:36 AM »
The beautiful and delicate guitar work stands in total contrast to the stark and harsh tone of the desert and the lyrics as a whole.  It accentuates the harshness of the desert.  Works very well imo. 

I really liked this.  My first instinct was that the lyric could cut back a little, but after several reads, and several listens I don't think there is any place to cut or any need to cut. 

My first criticism was going to be that you needed to repeat the chorus..... but you already did that. 

So, no nits at all.
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Yodasdad

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« Reply #11 on: January 13, 2019, 12:22:21 PM »
Couldn't we all do a better job with our vocals...with unlimited time and talent!

I don't think there's anything wrong with yours hear though, certainly not to the extent that I would be rushing back to redo them.

Nice laid back track feel to this, and nicely produced. Cool guitar work, with feeling.

A fitting listen on the grey SUnday.

Well done.

Yodasdad

Wicked Deeds

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« Reply #12 on: January 15, 2019, 08:54:35 PM »
@Neil C ,

delightful guitar intro solo and outro. The  vocals need a little attention but you have created a lovely mood here. I'd love to have a go at singing the vocal if you're up for it.

fine song

Paul
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Martinswede

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« Reply #13 on: January 16, 2019, 10:16:10 AM »
Hi Neil!

Your song is in the softer margin of what I usually listen to, so I'd fancy it with just a bit more edge.
Great vocals and harmony. Superb guitar tone. Lined?

Martin

adamfarr

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« Reply #14 on: January 17, 2019, 09:08:38 AM »
Great song concept, making the rain which is often a negative into a positive.


Nice and simple, melodic and tasteful - very good to listen to.