Five Days

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Jambrains

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« on: December 17, 2018, 09:08:19 PM »
Mix is driving me mad, vocally it's not exactly my back yard, I'm sick and tired of this one but all that aside I'm pretty happy with it  ;D ;D ;D
All input welcome esp. re the mix


FIVE DAYS

I've been up
I've been down
I've been hard to live with
And a joy to have around
I've been good
I've been bad
You could have abandoned me
Thrown away all that we had
 
But each time you say
You need to get away
I give you a reason to stay
 
Five days of heaven
Five days of hell
I know that my darkness
Masks my light so well
Five days of reason
Five days of dread
Take my word for it
I meant what I said

I can’t drag
myself from my bed
It’s where I hide from my demons
When they get inside my head
But you need to see
And I need to feel
It’s a cycle I go through
But in the end I always heal

But each time I say
I need to get away
You give me a reason to stay
 

Five days of heaven
Five days of hell
I know that my darkness
Masks my light so well
Five days of reason
Five days of dread
Take my word for it
I meant what I said
« Last Edit: December 17, 2018, 09:52:41 PM by Jambrains »

Yodasdad

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« Reply #1 on: December 17, 2018, 09:25:11 PM »
Love the piano sound in this, I think you've got it just right.

Some nice chord progressions too, especially in the chorus.

Am I hearin some Queen influence in this? I'm definitely getting shades of Somebody to Love and We are the Champions.

Really like the     note in the vocal too.
                     low

I would perhaps have liked a little more contrast between the melody in the chorus compared to the verse, just to give it that 'WHAM, I'M THE CHORUS' moment, but just a minor point.

I enjoyed this. Oh and great piano by the way.

Yodasdad.

P.S. I liked the piano work.
« Last Edit: December 17, 2018, 09:51:38 PM by Yodasdad »

PaulAds

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« Reply #2 on: December 17, 2018, 09:45:59 PM »
Lovely stuff, JB.

Mix-wise...listening at very low level on a MacBook...it felt like the cymbals in the verses came leaping out at me a little bit...no big deal, of course...just a thought.

Really like the song...your "lived-in" vocal brings out the emotion of the lyric very nicely...

A great listen :-)
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pompeyjazz

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« Reply #3 on: December 17, 2018, 09:48:50 PM »
Lovely stuff Johan. The piano sound is just that bit different which really adds to the whole ambience of the track. The guitar solo is fab. Reminded me a little of Brian May's style  :) Maybe would have liked a bit more volume on that. Nothing wrong mix wise imo. Love the way you got that low vocal note. That is a real swine to get right and to hold it as well is even more difficult. As always, a thoroughly enjoyable listen  :)

shadowfax

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« Reply #4 on: December 18, 2018, 08:43:34 AM »
I find it nigh on impossible to crit your music..always so good!! always enjoy it...great song my friend!!! :) :)
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Wicked Deeds

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« Reply #5 on: December 18, 2018, 09:51:07 AM »
@Jambrains

Fine melody and unambiguous lyrics to accompany the excellent musical backing.  I think that this song would benefit from backing vocals to give it a further lift.  Overall, it is a very good song possibly the best that have heard from you. 

Well done.

Paul

cowparsleyman

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« Reply #6 on: December 18, 2018, 02:34:09 PM »
Hi Johan

I haven't heard this yet, but I will as soon as I'm able, anything you do is pure magic

MonnoDB

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« Reply #7 on: December 18, 2018, 07:38:15 PM »
Well JB you also know what I think of this but that fab low vocal deserves public appreciation! Oh and the rest of it! Love this one, no surprise there :-) !!

LostBoy

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« Reply #8 on: December 18, 2018, 08:12:47 PM »
I think this sounds great Jam! Nice big catchy chorus!! I LOVE the musical break and the decision NOT to do a bridge, it would be easy to try and ram one in there, but it doesn't need it.

The only tiny thing I wasn't crazy about was the drum fills towards the end of the song, from 3.38, they just distracted me a bit was all, which is probably not what you wanted.

Other than that, a fabulous song mate. 🎶👊🏻🎶😁

crystalsuzy

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« Reply #9 on: December 19, 2018, 04:10:56 AM »
I think this is one of my favs of yours so far, JB :) I've probably said that before though :) Really catchy melody and great chorus.
Love the lyrics and vocal delivery, and of course the production is spot on :) Sorry I can't be more help with the mix :-\

cowparsleyman

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« Reply #10 on: December 19, 2018, 08:26:17 AM »
Hi Johan

I dig the song, as you say, not your normal bag.

(listening on AKG K271 - so not the best I'm afraid) I understand your mix problems, to my ears it's all to do with conflicting frequency bands and postiion in the stereo soundstage, especially in the chorus, the conflict of the organ, rhythm guitar, they sound like they are merging together, then in the instrumental pre chorus it all comes clear when you move the guitars out to the sides a bit.

Personally I'd lose the electric guitar in the verses, and bring in a new instrument verse by verse. just the piano V1, add organ in V2, then electric guitar etc.


I'm surprised you found it difficult because your previous mixes have been pristine. Anyway here's a few ideas....chuck 'em out if you want...

Drums
Snare could do with a bit of verb or subtle echo. Sounds very dry.
Kick could come up  tad, maybe tune it to the tonic of the song. I guess it has a comp on it but

Bass Gtr
Can't decide between dbx 160 or transient shaper to add punch.

LVox
A bit more or the echo ( I can hear it ...just) and plate verb

BVox in final Chorus
Maybe 2 or 4 ooohs, would add something different, and a crescendo to the whole thing before the solo piano outro.

You might benefit from either removing an instrument completely giving yourself more room, like the organ, or permanently swing it out a bit further to one side and chop off the offending conflicting freq from the thing nearest it...

Hope it helps...

Rich





MichaelA

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« Reply #11 on: December 21, 2018, 06:51:10 PM »
Well you are pretty good at writing choruses @Jambrains , but this is one of your best! Bit of a mini epic this one.

I remember that Bowie did 'Five Years', another epic, yet using only a fraction of the calendar, you've still created a monster with this really engaging narrative and compelling melody.  :)

Really enjoyed it, good one!
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Movin Flavour

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« Reply #12 on: December 22, 2018, 08:41:47 PM »
A very clever composition and a deviation from your usual style.

Like this a a lot😀

I love pianos in ballads, so this really does it for me.

Great lyrics .....and I like this production.

A great listen.

Sandeep

fischermans

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« Reply #13 on: December 24, 2018, 07:12:17 AM »
Hello Jambrains, very good song. I agree with Yodasdad, also hear the queen influence. I like the voice of yours very much in this. Fits very well. Only thing I'm not sure is if the drum in the chorus sites always right. But who am I ?
Well done had a great listen.
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« Last Edit: December 24, 2018, 07:31:15 AM by fischermans »
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« Reply #14 on: December 24, 2018, 02:59:00 PM »
Wow, what a brilliant vocal! I can hear the Queen influence but I can't hear that you've caused any copyright problems. I like the way you hold onto the notes and don't try to fit too many words in - less is definitely more. This has a stately feel as it progresses through the first class lyrics. Love the instrumentation and pace although the overall sound is a little too processed for my taste.

"I know that my darkness
Masks my light so well"

That is beautiful writing in my book.

Superb song.

M