Songwriter Forum > Feedback on Finished songs

Every Path

(1/7) > >>

MonnoDB:
Hi All!


It's taken me an age to get this one out the door - not sure why.. It's a simple 1+1 (well and BVs).. All feedback welcome.. pick it apart please. I'm happy to do retakes of both parts .. I'm publishing now as I know I'll go around in circles until I have a version live. I thank you in advance :)

Karen

https://soundcloud.com/monnodb/every-path-1


Not fair, I shout inside my head
As I hear your news and sense your dread
The harder you try to fake the ease
With which you throw your words at me
The stronger my muscles tighten

The battle ground was laid before
You took your stance with ever more
Than the dignity that I can find
I'm mute of words, blank of mind
Cos I am really frightened

We are here, we are here,
We are everywhere you want us
Anytime you need, we'll take your lead
We are here, we are here,
We are everywhere you want us,
Anytime you need, we'll take your lead
Cos we are here

Every path will be paved
With all our love which we will save
For every encounter, every day
We get to hold your hand and say
We'll walk this road beside you

But that's no use to ease the pain
That grows in force as it turns again
To ravage you, and all you've built
While those who thrive are wracked with guilt
Cos only luck divides us

We are here, we are here,
We are everywhere you want us
Anytime you need, we'll take your lead
We are here, we are here,
We are everywhere you want us,
Anytime you need, we'll take your lead
Cos we are here

pompeyjazz:
Heartfelt lyrics Karen and I think you have captured it brilliantly.  For me this is the perfect way to portray a song like this as it's raw and full of emotion and works so well. The gaps just add to the whole effect of the song like you've got 3 seconds to get yourself together and come up with all the answers. A song of the highest quality and a song to make you cry. Wonderful @MonnoDB

Mikey:
Hi Karen

Beautiful voice, the song works very well in its simplicity, and has some nice lines in the lyrics, and the parts with the backing vocals make your voice sound even better.

Cheers, Mikey

crystalsuzy:
So nice to hear a new 1+1 from you Karen :) I'm always compelled to listen several times. It's a gorgeous melody and very catchy chorus  :)
I really like the way you pause, and then carry on...it's become kind of a signature of yours...which is a good thing, because it's very effective :)
Your piano playing is stellar, as are the vocals and of course the poignant lyrics  :)
Loved every 2:42 minutes of it...could have been longer, but sometimes short and sweet is the way to go...something I have yet to learn ;D

shadowfax:
A beautiful song and presented so well..for me, the gaps were just too long but hey..no biggie :)

Navigation

[0] Message Index

[#] Next page