Hunger (Hurt Animals) - first sketch | indie rock

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allhurtanimals

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« on: November 29, 2018, 08:57:54 AM »
I would to ask what I could improve in terms of lyrics, structure, and the feel of the song. Arrangement can use some work too, so feel free to drop some ideas :) The song isn't mixed yet, so it might be a little harsh to listen to. Also, have in mind that it is a first sketch of the idea.

When it comes to lyrics, the idea was to show the mundane indifference of the world towards more liberal members of the generation y, such as myself. I wanted to somehow make a connection between them and concern for the well being of animals. But I feel this connection isn't explored enough. Is it in your opinion?

I am really not sure about the last verse contrasted with the outro, as two lines are present at the same time. I wanted to make the effect of contrasting points of view, but I am not sure about the effect. The reverb on the outro voice seems to help a little, but it's still confusing and muddled when I listen to it now. How would you approach it?

Hunger (Hurt Animals)

You fall so deep into a hunger,
Christmas morning, got a pocketful of pot,
and the songs are sung of God, being born,
but that didn't happen,

You push your shoulder through the door,
and wear a suit like you've never worn before,
have fun with drugs that eat your skin,
sober up, but nothing happens,

They mean well, but don't count on it,
don't go around spreading lies,
They couldn't possibly find a home for all of them,
They couldn't possibly find a home for all of them,
They couldn't possibly find a home for all of them,
They couldn't possibly find a home for all of them,
They couldn't possibly find a home for all of them,
They couldn't possibly find a home for all of them,
(find a home)
for all hurt animals

A dream of your ex slaps you in the mouth:
The two of you have never done,
Mdma and threeway love
Oh boys, without you, it happens

They mean well, but don't count on it,
don't go around spreading lies,
They couldn't possibly find a home for all of them,
They couldn't possibly find a home for all of them,
They couldn't possibly find a home for all of them,
They couldn't possibly find a home for all of them,
They couldn't possibly find a home for all of them,
They couldn't possibly find a home for all of them,
(find a home)
for all hurt animals

Count years by family dogs outlived,
and where are you left to be?
drinking and parties ahead,

(Oh boys I can see you listening,
I can feel you thinking, yeah,
of all of them,
I can feel you listen)

https://soundcloud.com/hurtanimals/hunger