this is pretty new.. i wrote it about 2 weeks back. this is just a demo so yeah there are performance issues/recording issues..etc... looking for overall composition feedback.. how does this flow for you? arrangement tweaking? lyrically hows it hit you? what do you think about the omission of the refrain after / in the middle of .. the extra long 3rd verse ? does that work ?
i have done another recording of this... just a single mic capturing the vocal and guitar live (11.23.18 )
https://www.reverbnation.com/thebonanzalunchbox/song/30202715-on-the-ledgeI’d like to know that you’re still there, on the ledge with me
Someone with whom i can share, all this history
A ghost that never goes away
Haunting me from yesterday, remains
I’d like to know that you’re still there, on the ledge with me
Someone with whom i can share, all this history
I’d like to think the boats still sound, sailing on the sea
A harbor that i might escape, anchored memories
A ghost that never goes away
Haunting me from yesterday, remains
I’d like to know that you’re still there, on the ledge with me
Someone with whom i can share, all this misery
I’d like to think the boats still sound, sailing on the sea
A harbor that i might escape, all these meories (this misery?)
The ledge is getting narrow, i’m going blind
Falling doesn’t always hurt, matters what you find
Water seems so cold and dark calling out my name
Hold onto a lonely spark, everythings the same
~ ~ ~
I’d like to know that you’re still there, on the ledge with me
~ ~ ~
Hold my hand in case i leap, out into the sea
~ ~ ~
Water is so calm, calls out my name
~ ~ ~
Hold onto that lovely spark, maybe i’ll remain