[AnnaLina]

Hey! I just started writing this song last night, so it's still a work in progress - let me know what you think! I'm not sure about the title, I considered "Creative Curse", "Heart offbeat", "Ticking offbeat" or just "Offbeat". But I'm very open to other sugestions as well.


I was born with a broken heart
Couldn't tell at first, but it ticked wrong from the start
So I was never quite at ease
My mind just wouldn't offer peace

So I went to look for it everywhere
Got so lost on my way, I forgot to care
Found creativity on the way,
but there was a price to pay

I made some horrible choices, turned up the white noise, just to fill up the void

But it was never enough

Went for success, high up, love and sex, money and accept

But it was never enough
I was never enough

I watch the world through no glasses
It gets me where I need to be
But sometimes it's like trippin on bad acid
And I feel it hurts to see
I pray the view gets better, as I learn to breathe

I take a deep breath in
and let the storm begin
A flood of burried emotions
drown me in an ocean

But thats when I learn to swim
Thats where I learned to sing
It's a god danm bittersweet pain
Ain't no rainbow without rain

I sing in a thousand voices, dancing in white noise, just to fill up the void

But it's never enough

I go for success, got me love and accept, colour my life with the best

But it's never enough
I'm never enough

I watch the world through no glasses
It gets me where I need to be
But sometimes it's like trippin on bad acid
And I feel it hurts to see
I pray the view gets better, as I learn to breathe

Take my hand, lets take a walk
I love this life, but its so hard
All this beauty around us, its all good
You can tell we've come so far
Yet I still hear the sound of my heart...
Ticking off-beat

[Andreas]

I think "Offbeat" or "Ticking Offbeat" would be a fitting title for the song! In the second verse, every line fit perfect together, cause they are at the same length, but in the first verse, the second line is much longer than the rest. That could give you some problems when singing it, something I have experienced on my own, doing that a lot with my songs. I would say you could drop the "Couldn't tell at first" bit, cause it would look and sound just as good without that bit, and it would be just as clear to the listener what the song is about.

The chorus has some good rhymes, and with a good melody, it would be easy for the listener to sing along with it From where I sit, this looks like a good lyric, and i'm looking forward to see the end-product of this one

Nice work!