[Mutrins]

Hey all!

Just finishing up this track and would love to get some feedback. I'm calling it either Sometimes or Sometime I Get Lonely in Your Love. It seems very long. But I would love to get overall feedback on production, lyrics, melody, the whole nine yards. Thanks so much!
Micky

https://soundcloud.com/micky-shiloah/sometimes-11-20-2/s-2nfSb


Lyrics:
I've been here before
It's the same old same old up and down
I've been here before
Waiting for you
To come around

'Round here we don't talk about it
We don't talk about it
We don't talk about our love

Sometimes in life
You've gotta move on
Sometimes you think it's the right one
Even when it's wrong

Chorus:
Every day I keep waiting for tomorrow
When the sun will shine and no more pills to swallow
And it's good when it's good
When it's bad I've had enough
Sometimes I get lonely in your love

I pull away but you pull me back closer
I think I'm addicted to being your shoulder
And you're good when you're good
And that makes it so tough
Cuz sometimes I get lonely in your love

(And you're good when you're good
And that makes it so tough
Cuz sometimes I get lonely in your love)

And I keep telling myself
You're gonna get right back up again
You're gonna get right back up
You're gonna get right back up
You're gonna get right back up again
(I keep telling myself)
You're gonna get right back up again
(I keep telling myself)

Sometimes in life
You've gotta move on
Sometimes it feels like the right one
Even when it's wrong

Every day I keep waiting for tomorrow
When the sun will shine and no more pills to swallow
And it's good when it's good
And that makes it so tough cuz
Sometimes I get lonely in your love

Sometimes I get lonely in your love
And that makes it so tough cuz
Sometimes I get lonely in your love

I pull away but you pull me back closer
I think I'm addicted to being your shoulder
And it's good when it's good
And that makes it so tough
Cuz sometimes I get lonely in your love

[Yodasdad]

Great writing.

One of the things that I think makes your songs work so well is really good use of tension and release. Not just in the orchestration but through melody as well.

I can't fault the production but if I had to pick at something, I might slightly alter the lead synth, it's ever so slightly comb and tracing paper to my ears. If you're  not old enough to know what that is, I wouldn't even worry about it.

This had a familiarity to it straight away. This is not a criticism as such but I think it borrows from your previous tracks that I've heard. I think this is because it's your style and people naturally gravitate to what they know, rather than that you're re using old material.

I like the way this uses some unusual chord progressions and doesn't just stick to the obvious.

I really don't know why I like your stuff, coz it's not the kind of thing I would normally go for, but I do. I think it's just catchy as hell.

Yodasdad

[fischermans]

Great song and very close to a radio friendly one. I think the beginning is a bit rugged and the chorus deserves a more original instrumentation to work out better that it is a chorus.
Sorry for my bad english. Great work man.
Alexander

[Bill Saunders]

Hi Micky

This song is bursting with original ideas and is superbly produced. I loved the vocal harmonies that suddenly started exploding into huge, multiple voices. The way you make words scan "To come around, 'Round here we don't talk about it" is unexpected and makes it instantly memorable and interesting. I am not aware of listening to your stuff before but your voice has beautiful tone. The synth riff - I wasn't sure about it the first time I heard it but on second listen, it had grown on me and I think it fits perfectly.

Sorry, but I can't think of any worthwhile suggestions to make this better! It was a real pleasure to listen to.

[pompeyjazz]

Hi @Mutrins

You have a gif for coming up with infectious modern pop songs. What really got me on this one were some of the wonderful, slightly unexpected chord changes. It's a top quality piece of work, excellent production as well 

[RealKevM]

The main piano riff remind me of a The Housemartins song (which is a good thing) , your vocals are great but you will know that already You've written a great pop song here.

[Mutrins]

@Yodasdad  thank you!! and yea i think this is sort of a culmination of all of the sounds and styles I use in all of my songs. Glad you liked it!

@fischermans thank you!!

@Bill Saunders Thank you, Bill! I appreciate that

@pompeyjazz Thank you!!

@RealKevM  Thanks so much!!

Also, updated the link to a newer version of the track!

Micky

[adamfarr]

Really cool sound - the use of harmonies stands out, reminds me of Take That in places who were masters of that type of sound.


Just a couple of things struck me - the drums make an appearance around 0'15" and then disappear again - I think I'd leave them until they properly come in around 0'53". Also I think the chorus lead vocal just sounds a tad thin and maybe overwhelmed by the swirly backing vocals when it really needs to be in the lead...


But overall it really works and makes for a great listen, really good stuff.

[Cawproductions]

Hi

really great sounding pop track, sounds very inspirational, like the rise and fall of the track.

Cool use of pads and synths, Oh and a top notch vocal as always.

That little gap you have caught me out tho, 40 secs in, only in my little world..IMHO

Very modern feel,

Great work Micky.

[Mutrins]

@adamfarr Thank you!! and will go back in soon and take your advice into consideration.

@Cawproductions  thank you!!