[fischermans]

Hello, here my last brand new song.Hope you like. I'm a worse producer I know.


Sex and Drugs and Rhymes

1.If you feel like an angel with broken wings
never stop, keep on searching for real friends
If you once need somebody's helping hand
enjoy you life cause soon it's reaching it's end

2.And so many tears are falling down
so many reasons not to be a clown
and so many times you feeling down
you couldn't be king without a crown

Refrain:
You praying on your knees
you telling how bad it feels
you thinking about better times
sex and drugs and rhymes

3.You searching for such a long time
always searching to find a perfect rhyme
you always try to make things prime
this promises you a better time

4.Life could be less life could be more
it always depends on what you living for
the onliest thing you have to do
go always your own way and try to be you.

Refrain:
You praying on your knees
you telling how bad it feels
you thinking about better times
sex and drugs and rhymes
sex and drugs and rhymes

1.If you feel like an angel with broken wings
never stop, keep on searching for real friends
If you once need somebody's helping hand
enjoy you life cause soon it's reaching it's end

Refrain:
You praying on your knees
you telling how bad it feels
you thinking about better times
sex and drugs and rhymes
sex and drugs and rhymes
sex and drugs and rhymes

[Yodasdad]

Enjoyed the guitar work and the lyrics of this.

There's something about rhythm of the melody though that feels awkward to me. It has grown on me as I've listened but, to me anyway, I'm not sure.

I think what's causing it is that the the melody in the verse is about a beat longer than the bars/chords behind it, therefore meaning that each line starts and ends later in the bar. To me this makes it quite difficult to latch on to it as each line sounds slightly different and seems to be fighting a little with the music behind.

This may be one of those songs where doing something different and breaking the boundaries a little ends up being a stoke of genius with further listens. I don't know, I can't make that call yet.

Hopefully this review doesn't come across as negative as I think there's a good song here, potentially a very clever one. It will be interesting to see what others make of it.

Yodasdad

[Wicked Deeds]

You have a beautiful voice Alexander and your chord progressions and guitar work are always thoughtful and melodic.

This is an introspective look at life that invites the listener to reflect on the need for friendship, his/her mortality and and an idealised past.  I was a little surprised to hear the song progress towards the title “sex and drugs and rhymes.”  I guess that this reflects upon a time when life seemed easier and more carefree before the progression of life. 

I’d consider rewriting “You always try to make things prime.”  I guess your saying you try to make thing the best that they can be or you’re searching for perfection.  In any event, you’ve expressed that idea in the first two lines of the verse.  This should free you up to saying something new


 I’d also rewrite “The onliest thing you have to do.”  Having said that, you sing “the only thing you have to do” and that is fine

Overall,  there’s a super song here and your vocals especially are beautiful.  This would have a tremendous impact with the right production. 

I’ve tried to make this review very constructive. 

Thanks for sharing.

Paul

[fischermans]

@ Yodasdad
Thank you very much for the reply. I think you may be right. I'm also not sure with the two guitar lines. Sometimes it seems the second guitar is playing against the first one instead of working together. I played the second guitar only 4 times before recording. May be this is the problem. But there is another thing what I detect. Every time when I hear the song in Garage Band it sounds better than the version which I saved as mp3 at the desktop. Could this be or is it a pipe dream?
Anyway again thanks for your kind words.
@Wicked Deeds
Hello Paul and thank you for your friendly words and competent reply. Interesting thoughts about the lyrics. Will think about your suggestions. For production I can say I have a tremendous amount of absentee skills in produce a song. I never will be good in this.
Alexander

[pompeyjazz]

Wonderful stuff @fischermans I love The raw honesty of this song. Your guitar and vocals were all that was necessary. A great song imo 

[Yodasdad]

It could be that it sounds different after exporting as an MP3 from GarageBand @fischermans.

Exporting as an MP3 will mean that the track is compressed in the process. It's been a long time since I used GarageBand but you should be able to export it without compression. I think this would be as an AIFF file if memory serves me.

Try this and see if you notice a difference.

Yodasdad

[adamfarr]

Hey there FM - I loved this. The slightly resigned vocal and medeivally-folky guitar lines really worked for me. I really like the searching for the perfect rhyme metaphor.


My only suggestion would be to make the chorus more different from the verse as the two guitars (which I do like) sound very similar all through. I might try bringing the second one in only at the first chorus to give a lift, or maybe playing further down the neck in that section. Or maybe just some light keyboards and/or bass under the chorus to fill out the sound...


But it’s a really cool and effective song.

[fischermans]

@pompeyjazz  Thanks man you made my day. 
@Yodasdad Thanks again, will export the next ones without compression. Hope this will make a different.
@adamfarr Thank you so much for your kind words. I thought the same as you did but I was struggling to find a chorus and have had no idea to get it better. I think I need a bit more time to work again on this song. Anyway thanks a lot.
Alexander

[Jamie]

Ah Mr Fisch, it's been a while since I've heard any of your stuff, but it's instantly recognisable. Your original vocal styling still works with the starkness of the acoustic guitars.
Enjoyed it!
Cheers
Jamie

[Cawproductions]

Hi Fisch

This track has a great acoustic feel, But like some of the others commented, I struggled with the lines fitting the timing slightly.

BUT, Once fixed, this will be a lovely easy listen track, very nice playing on the finger style too. Vocal sat nice with the guitar, Just the Phrasing on the vocal, I almost wanted you to come in earlier if you know what I mean.


Great work
Andy

[fischermans]

@Jamie Thanks man means a lot.
@Cawproductions Thank you for your friendly words. For the critic on the vocal to come in earlier with the phrasing I'm not 100 % sure what you mean.

[MichaelA]

Hi there @fischermans , well this reminded me of acoustic troubadours of old, such as Cat Stevens or even early Paul Simon. The guitar work is very delicate and subtle.


Best of all I liked your understated vocal style and then how just a little upping of the emotion in the refrain ('You praying on your knees/you telling how bad it feels') really added passion to the narrative.


I think it was all getting a bit too sad for me, but then you rescued it with the inspirational 'never stop' section. Very touching. I enjoyed this!

[Movin Flavour]

Great folk ballad.

I liked the guitar playing and loved the rawness of your vocals.

Moving lyrics.... A good listen.


Sandeep

[rightly]

Really intriguing song.

I like the mood it sets. It's like nothing I've ever heard.   
Something doesn't sit right but maybe that's because to me the song Is so unusual.
This is not a bad thing, nothing wrong with the song. Intriguing is good, it's got got substance.

[moraamarolaloba]

Wonderful lyrics, sad lyrics...

"so many times you feeling down
you could not be king without a crown"
This part has moved me because of how you have interpreted it.
As for the rhythm, I think the same as @Yodasdad. It seems that there is something that breaks the natural rhythm that the melody seems to be asking for.
Your way of singing is very beautiful, I really enjoyed your voice. Your voice your guitar and your song deserve to shine even more. I think it's a song that could be important.