[redrhodie]

Hi everyone,

Listen to and hull soul collective The Long Dark Stairwell by faraway my lovely #np on #SoundCloud
https://soundcloud.com/user-468459034/long-dark-stairwell-fourth-final-master

This song was the first collaboration between Keith and us. At the time, this was a huge leap for me as a singer. It was the first time I felt like my voice took on the personality of the character. I was still just learning to record myself and still figuring out stuff like the mic has a front and a back. Haha. But I was really pleased with it at the time. However, I listened to it yesterday, and I'm not so sure anymore. What do you think? Should I redo the vocals?

The Long Dark Stairwell

She said you're so slow
Why don't you take me home right now
Blue velvet midnight lace
Red lipstick smeared across his face
There was a long dark stairwell
A fire escape in the moonlight
The smell of rain and jasmine
Breathlessness dizziness

She turns away from him
Long neck craving his attention
Red neon flashing sign
Electric hum buzzing in the background
Silly intuition time to push
Time to pull
Desperateness distortion
Not knowing what to do

She sighed hold me tight
We'll enter paradise tonight
Wild orchid growing free
White kirtle rides above her knee
Slowly kissing her lips
Gentle hands stroke her hips

Taste her sweet perfume....


Thanks for helping!
Lynn

[pompeyjazz]

I like it Lynn. It's really atmospheric and dark and your vocal suits it perfectly. I wouldn't change a thing 

[Bill Saunders]

I like it too! It’s really, really creepy and you get into character brilliantly. Although I never heard her do anything like this, it reminded me of Suzanne Vega. Something in the tone of your voice, and I would not re-record.

As for the song itself, I can imagine it being in a scary musical theatre production!

[redrhodie]

Thanks guys. I appreciate your time and comments. I actually tried to rerecord it anyway, but it turns out you were right. It was fine the way it was.

Thanks again,
Lyny

[rightly]

I haven't heard you sound this way before.
but as active as you are and also collaborating with a band I guess you have quite "back catalogue".

the lyrics are intriguing literature and the sound, groove n mood held my attention

well done Lyn.

[montydog]

Hi,

Great song as we approach Halloween...scary. I can also imagine this in a musical of a spooky nature. Your vocals are a little detached a la Marlene Dietrich but it worked for her and it works here. If I'm being hyper-critical I could say it was a little long and repetitive but otherwise an intriguing little number.

M

[Neil C]

Liking this one. Strong rhythm, eerie vocals and physci-Arabaisn guitar all playing their hyponotic part. Oh and honourable mention to the feedback ending
:-)
neil

[moraamarolaloba]

Hello beautiful,
The song and the story have left me with a very good taste in my mouth. You say that you should repeat the voice. That's a decision of yours, although I think if you ask it, it's because you're not sure. Would you like to repeat the voice now that you have more experience and you have heard it?

[redrhodie]

@Rightly , thanks! Yeah, I got into this one. Kind of surprised myself. Haha. I'm glad you liked it.

Thanks @montydog. I guess it is scary. I was picturing a film noir story, which is kind of scary, especially for the hero. Haha. I disagree that it's too long, but I really appreciate that you listened to the whole thing and commented.

Thanks so much @Neil C . I'm really glad you liked it. I agree with the ending. It gives me butterflies in my stomach.

Hello beautiful,
The song and the story have left me with a very good taste in my mouth. You say that you should repeat the voice. That's a decision of yours, although I think if you ask it, it's because you're not sure. Would you like to repeat the voice now that you have more experience and you have heard it?

Hi Mora,
I think I was considering redoing the vocals because time has changed and I've gotten stronger. There's a vulnerability in my voice that I think only I hear. As I tried rerecording it recently, I realized maybe that was a strength, not a weakness.

I don't think I could redo this song. It's like trying to meet someone you fell in love with the first time you met them again. That first time was magical, and can't be repeated. Instead, your love for them grows into something like a tree that drops its leaves in autumn and is reborn in spring, over and over again. Its roots grow deeper as it weathers storms and seasons. That's the story for a new song. Haha.

Thanks again, everyone, for your comments. I appreciate them,
Lynn

[MichaelA]

Very theatrical, especially the vocal and actually the drums, with their attention grabbing fills.

This is the sort of track that would sound great live at a late night intimate club, packed and sweat falling off the ceiling! Totally hypnotic and creative too. Good work, and my it must be scary in Hull! 

[Cawproductions]

Hi Lynn

Very experimental.....sounds like a drug induced instrumental......Hey I am not assuming anything here

Your vocal is dark....fits the track perfectly.

Great work.

[redrhodie]

Very theatrical, especially the vocal and actually the drums, with their attention grabbing fills.

This is the sort of track that would sound great live at a late night intimate club, packed and sweat falling off the ceiling! Totally hypnotic and creative too. Good work, and my it must be scary in Hull! 

I'd definitely be in blue velvet for that performance. Yeah. That would be cool.

Hi Lynn

Very experimental.....sounds like a drug induced instrumental......Hey I am not assuming anything here

Your vocal is dark....fits the track perfectly.

Great work.

Thanks so much! I don't mind that we sound stoned. I'll take that as a compliment.

[diademgrove]

Thanks for the comments, especially Neil on the feedback at the end.

Hull's not scary at all and I've been free from drugs and alcohol for decades.

Nothing wrong with your vocal Lynn, it goes with the music perfectly.

The ending reflects what happened next. A shorter ending would suggest it didn't end well, but maybe that's just me.

Thanks again,

Keith

[redrhodie]

Thanks for the comments, especially Neil on the feedback at the end.

Hull's not scary at all and I've been free from drugs and alcohol for decades.

Nothing wrong with your vocal Lynn, it goes with the music perfectly.

The ending reflects what happened next. A shorter ending would suggest it didn't end well, but maybe that's just me.

Thanks again,

Keith

A shorter ending would imply she killed him. Instead, they're watching baseball. Haha.

[shadowfax]

Really like this dark song and love the guitar work that comes in at around 3 mins but was very disappointed that the drums didn't come back in after a minute or so..nevertheless..love the song

best, Kevin