[Furry61]

I am new to this site, written a lot of lyrics and here is one to share for fun, it was written in about 10 minutes, woke up and it was in my head, got a pen and paper and here it is.

SUSPICION                                            Lyrics by Geoff Matthews
VERSE
I’ve got a chip upon my shoulder,
And a monkey on my back.
I’ve been that way since I was young,
And now there’s no way back.

CHORUS
I just can’t see the reason,
Why suspicion follows me.
I’m living how I want to live,
So just don’t bother me.

VERSE
I’ve got a game face in my pocket,
And a shooter in my sack.
I keep it in there just in case,
There’s a wall against my back.

CHORUS
I just can’t see the reason,
Why suspicion follows me.
I’m living how I want to live,
So just don’t bother me.

MIDDLE
Keep your feelings and your views,
Under lock and key.
Don’t air your dirty laundry,
Right in front of me.
Cos’ anyone who knows me,
Will tell you to a man.
Steer clear of that one, fella.
Cos’ he don’t give a damn.

CHORUS
I just can’t see the reason,
Why suspicion follows me.
I’m living how I want to live,
So just don’t bother me.

LONG VERSE
I’ve got no rainbows left to follow,
Just the Sun against my back.
I may be coming to your town,
Someday down the track.
And if you’ve got no monkey,
Or if you’ve got no chip.
Then steer well clear of me boy,
Or cut and run real quick.
Cos’ I am just a dead one,
That’s what my kids would say.
He don’t give a fig for us,
But we love him anyway.
But I can’t lose that monkey,
And I can’t drop that chip.
So here I am now all alone,
So don’t you give me lip.

CHORUS
I just can’t see the reason,
Why suspicion follows me.
I’m living how I want to live,
So just don’t bother me.

[CaliaMoko]

Very rhythmic, probably easy to set to music. Cute lyric. I noted a couple of grammar issues, but I think they fit the style of the song. The word "just" is in there 11 times, but since it's in the chorus twice, that will ramp up the repetition in a hurry. If you're cool with that situation, no problem. If you want ideas for reducing the number of repetitions, you could do something like: "I really see no reason / Why suspicion follows me / I'm living how I want to live / So don't you bother me". That would get rid of 8 of them, leaving only 3.

That's all I noticed. Pretty cool for only taking 10 minutes!

Vicki

[tfz]

I agree on the repetitions and could see this being put to music very easily.  Like the variation in structure to mix things up a bit and it tells a story. Good work.

[Furry61]

Thanks for the feedback, yeah there is repetition but I liked the meter so left it, repetition as we all know is no bad thing but it is not something I usually do. Will share some other lyrics soon.