"The Memory Lingers On" -- dreamt about this one!

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PopTodd

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« on: August 25, 2018, 04:06:58 PM »
...at least the chorus, lyrics and all. And I had to capture it in some recorded format before I forgot it.
So, obviously it's not totally done. I want to work on the melody/chord changes in the verses. It's a little basic. But, maybe that's how it needs to be to contrast with the chorus?
And the middle 8/bridge also needs some work.
Just looking for feedback. Maybe some chord substitution options for the verses?


Lyrics:
I swam around all last night in your words in my bed
But it wasn’t so much your words as it was what they said
And you know how the night goes, you know how it plays with your head
But when the morning brought the day, it didn’t bring the light

Because the memory lingers on
Feels like it’s going on forever
And the pain that comes along
I guess that’s how it’s gonna be

So while the day’s become the nighttime, the night is still the night
And I keep swimming through darkness and bumping into things that bite
And they’re tearing at me, it’s an on-going terminal fight
And I’ve been getting used to the pain, it’s just a part of my life

Because the memory lingers on
It just goes on and on forever
And the pain that comes along
I guess that’s how it’s gonna be

(instrumental interlude)

Leaving a taste in my mouth
Leaving a pain in my mind
Leaving a hole in me
But never leaving
But never leaving
But never leaving…

Because the memory lingers on
It just goes on and on forever
And the pain that comes along
I guess that’s how it’s gonna be
Yes the memory lingers on
It just goes on and on forever
And the pain that comes along
I guess that’s how it’s gonna be
I guess that’s how it’s gonna be… I guess that’s how it’s gonna be…

©2018 Todd Leiter-Weintraub

« Last Edit: September 02, 2018, 04:26:33 PM by PopTodd »

cowparsleyman

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« Reply #1 on: October 07, 2018, 08:58:55 AM »
Whato Todd (I like to review WIP songs as there is room for change and to build some ideas in)

Good song this, like the guitar sound (what is it?), Like the lyrics, for what it's worth here are my ideas....

1. A grand piano would sit nicely in here, especialy in the the on an on forever section.
2. A change of key would work wonders, returning back for the choruses at the end.
3. It has LOADS of production potential. I'm hearing backing Vox, tasty hooks on an outo phase strat emphasizing the sus4 chords.
4. I'm still not sure whether 1 verse/chr is enought befor the mid section, and still the other one after it, just plonking on the extra chorus to finish.
5. Try and keep any drums away until the first chorus, and I would maybe only use a cross stick, and maybe a closed hat, if at all, it would would without drums.

Very nice work Todd.

PopTodd

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« Reply #2 on: October 08, 2018, 12:00:24 PM »
Thanks so much cowparsleyman. Appreciate you taking the time to listen and comment on this one.
Never considered a key change. You mean, like changing the key of the entire song or modulating to another key partway through?
And, I have a piano player lined up to play on the tune, if I decide to go that way, so thanks for the input on that one!

But I was also considering the possibility of a full-on power pop treatment. See how that would work. But still, yeah, leaning toward quieter. But, I'm gonna play with it a bit.

Thanks again!

And, as to the guitar: it's an Epiphone. Bought it new in 1993. It's served me well. Thanks!

cowparsleyman

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PopTodd

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« Reply #4 on: November 11, 2018, 06:41:59 PM »
Gonna start rehearsing it sometime after the new year. Hopefully will get it into the studio in the spring. Pondering arrangements and instrumentation now.
I like the idea of going swirly shoegaze with it, but might go straightforward guitar, bass, drums, keys, with a strong acoustic presence.
I'll see what works, and what we can pull off with the lineup that I am working with.

Linderkov

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« Reply #5 on: December 12, 2018, 04:10:42 AM »
Is a good song
Good music

PopTodd

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« Reply #6 on: December 12, 2018, 12:13:21 PM »
Is a good song
Good music
Thanks.
I'm actually gonna give it it's live debut on the 21st. We'll see how it goes over.

Jenna

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« Reply #7 on: December 15, 2018, 04:44:48 PM »
Very nice song. What a gift to have it come in a dream. :)  I wanted to feel an increase in energy at the end of the second verse, like going up the scale to start driving home some of that pent up emotion. Great imagery. It flows well. I'd also think of cutting some of the unnecessary wordiness in the first verse, but it flowed well the way you sang it with melody, so maybe not a big deal.
« Last Edit: December 15, 2018, 04:50:00 PM by Jenna »

PopTodd

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« Reply #8 on: December 16, 2018, 10:21:02 PM »
Thanks so much, Jenna.
I agree with you about the wordiness of the first verse. Still working that out a little. Nothing is permanent until it's recorded; and even then, I still play with it when I play it out.
Appreciate the feedback.