[Liam]

This is about a couple whose marriage has ended and the children are suffering

Time to stop

It's time to make a peace plan
I'll leave the kids with  nan
so we can draw our lines back
and map out a future that's not
full of the pasts shrapnel

It's time to stop
I don't why we argue anymore
I used to feel satisfaction when I won
but now the points  are worthless

I looked into Johnny's eyes
and saw confusion and felt shame
and knew it couldn't go on anymore
one of us has to raise the white flag

It's time to stop
I don't why we argue anymore
I used to feel satisfaction when I won
but now the points  are worthless

We were friends once , how could things go so wrong
our eyes used to meet and we'd smile
when we heard our songs on the radio

It's time to stop - stopppp
now's  the time to stop
we can now before it gets to late

we were friends once - friendssss
I don't want to look into my children's eyes and see confusion

[Reece!]

Hey!

I instantly relate to the story behind the lyrics. I've recently uploading a lyrics about a parent reading. I think a more tighter rhyme scheme and pattern would make the poem more memorable. I don't know if it was your intention but I loved the tongue-in-cheek line of "leaving the kids with their Nan" reminded me of Kate Nash.

For example,

"I looked into Johnny's eyes
and saw confusion and felt shame
Am I the one to blame?"

That's just a quick idea but I'm sure you could come up with something a lot better. Means the piece will be more easy to read and flow more coherent.

Reece!

[Liam]

Thanks Reece for reading and the feedback - will take your comments on board xxx

[Furry61]

I like this one!