[Neil C]

Here's my meagre entry.
Simply done to some lyrics I had.
Probably going to redo the vocals but I have much time at the moment :-(
1.20 too long?

Thanks for any feedback

 
Neil
https://soundcloud.com/neilconnor-2/demons-within-part-1-master-demo-22-sept-2018

The fire mists consume my heart
Quench it like a rainy rose
Leave my body in the cool
In the poll where the current flows

Looking to the distance
Between sunset and truth
Just dont get them confused
In seeking wisdom, beauty and youth

See the miles you’ve covered
See those cold, cold blue eyes
Feelings rediscovered
Amid deception and the lies

You cant stop the waves
But you can learn how to swim
And start to redefine yourself
From the demons within

C N Connor 2018

[Bill Saunders]

Pretty little number that grows with a second or third listen. And that’s still less than five minutes of anyone’s time. There are one or two spots when the pitching could be tightened up, but still an enjoyable listen.

[tboswell]

Some lovely imagery in that lyric there.
Lovely verse with a lot of pregnant potential, that sounds great when it returns as a refrain at the end.

1.20 is pushing it perhaps but I'm very happy I heard this 

[CaliaMoko]

Sure, it's still pretty short, less than 1-1/2 minutes. Kind of eerie but hopeful, optimistic lyrics. I wouldn't call this "meagre"...there's a lot packed into a short space, I think. Worthy contender.

[montydog]

Hi Neil,

Great harmonies, lovely guitar and relaxed vocals. Had a kind of "Game Of Thrones" feel which I've not heard on here before. A lovely thing indeed.

M

[Viscount Cramer & His Orchestra]

Far from being a meagre entry Neil....I think it's very good. Good mood to it....harmony bit is really nice.

1.20 is a tad too long for the brief perhaps....maybe you should develop it into a regular length song after the competition's over. You set a great mood going here and I can just imagine some tasteful spacy guitar solo taking this somewhere before you get back into the vocal parts again.

Very nice.

[Skub]

Yo Neil.

It's an epic,yeah I know it's over the limit,but man this feels like a 5 minute song.

A new genre perhaps? Tardis songs? 

A lovely piece in every way.

[pompeyjazz]

Love the way that you've tilted this part 1 Neil. This could be part of a trilogy on a rock album. This is the prelude. I thought that this was superb in every way. Clever stuff

[Paulski]

Hi Neil

Agree with the crowd on this one - good lyrics and great guitar work makes this little gem shine.
Good choice not adding drums - sometimes it's what we leave out that makes a song.
Nice to hear some light & shade too.

Good one 
Paul

[nooms]

vocal and lyric outstanding neil
realy strong song
harmonies lovely touch
moving vocal
top marks

[crystalsuzy]

this is lovely Neil...it really grows on you  The lyrics are exceptional and really nice job on the vocals/harmony(my fav part) 
Beautiful guitar work as always. Excellent entry

[Neil C]

Bill Sauders, thanks yes your right around pitching but I really didn't have any time so its honest 1 take..

TBoswell - 'Lovely verse with a lot of pregnant potential, that sounds great when it returns as a refrain at the end' great feedback

CaliaMoko - 'Kind of eerie but hopeful, optimistic lyrics' thanks they were a bit of a risk and not my normal style

Allan - spot on my lyrical imagery was GoT stuff, not that I've seen it I hasten to add

Dear Count - 'imagine some tasteful spacy guitar solo taking this somewhere' absolutely

Scub, tardis? You have really think hard with this minimalist approach

Pompeyjohn, yes, I had something epic and rocks trilogy or whatever in the back of my mind to go with the imagery Just let me slip into my leather trousers - x

Paulski, yep sometimes less is more, and I didn't have time to do anything more complicated - necessity is the mother of all inventions..

nooms - thanks man that means a lot

CS - delighted with your feedback on the lyrics - they're a bit different for me and yes liked doing the harmony with loads of reverb :-)

[Wicked Deeds]

@NeilC,

Beautiful clear production.  This makes such an impact with the limited instrumentation Neil.  Well done my friend, a striking song!

Paul