Indigo (Demo)

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Altair

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« on: September 09, 2018, 06:29:29 PM »
Hi!

My name is Alex, I'm a songwriter from Russia.
English is not my native language.

My music style is pop, indie-rock, ballads.

I have finished several recent songs and I want to know your opinion about them.
Are they worth working? Are they good?

I'm not sure about my English, so I'll be grateful to you for any comments and recommendations (stylistics, rhyming, use of word, etc.)
Maybe you say that something sounds bizarre and unnatural.

Sorry for poor arrangement of demo track. Vocal line is shown with a sax voice.


Thank you! =)

Altair

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« Reply #1 on: September 09, 2018, 06:31:40 PM »
INDIGO (DEMO)

(1)
He’s a special kid, like a natural gem                                                         
He doesn’t get on well with other children                                                       
Thoughtful and dreamy; He’s only ten                                                             
Like some sort of fibre, absorbing and filtering                                 

An indigo child, a thing-in-itself                                                                             
He looks at this life through a little window                                                     
Feeling much better in his safety shell                                               
And he doesn’t like when someone is into it                                                 


(Chorus)
It should be handled with caution                                                         
Put in a greenhouse, as an option, oh                                                       
It’s so hard to deal with emotions                                                                         
His mind is a puzzle, it’s a deep blue ocean                                                       


(2)
Slow in the morning, the studies are boring                                                     
Figures and words simply do not excite him                                                       
Here, once again, the teacher gives him a warning                                                       
And asks for an answer but he’s being silent                                           

But he can remember when he was inspired                                                 
Dancing on stage - that was a passion                                                                 
Sadly, he has no chance to realize it
But all that is missing - You can imagine


(Chorus)

(3)
He tried to get on with it, to make a real change                                                       
To find some good friends and build up relations                                                         
But all these attempts make no any sense                                       
It’s not real life but its imitation

Maybe, something gets out of sight         
He wants to reborn, to become a sparrow                                                                                   
To fly and to see this fuss from the height                                                         
These people are small, these backstreets are narrow                                 


(Chorus)
It should be handled with caution                                                         
Put in a greenhouse, as an option, oh                                                       
It’s so hard to deal with emotions                                                                         
His mind is a puzzle, it’s a deep blue ocean