Times of despair

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Veance

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« on: September 08, 2018, 09:02:48 AM »
I'm trying to write a new song.
It's about a man, completely made up ;), who's in love with a woman. But he has doubts about her sincerity towards him.
This is the part of wich i'm  sure enough to let it loose here.

Some pointers please?
Is this grammatically correct?
What do you feel when reading these lines...


In times of despair


Capo 2
Am E7 Am E7 Am

Am                 E7
How could I know
Am                 E7
This love isn't fair
Am        C                      E7
Like a mirage on the truth

Am                   E7
How would I know
Am                   E7
if love wasn't there
Am             C               E7
I wouldn't have any clue


Dm           E7
Blind as I am
Am                 E7
I've fallen for you
Dm                    C                           E7
But I can't believe that you're true
Dm            E7              Dm                     Am
I mustn't believe anything that you say
Dm                  E7                                 Am
And look behind the face you display

Am               E7
How will I know
Am                       E7
How much do you care
Am               E7                  Am   
How can I get close to you

Dm Am E7 Am C E7 Am
Dm E7 Am  Am C E7 Am

How could I know
Am I merely a thing
'cause  sometimes you come as you go
nil volentibus arduum

Rightly

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  • and there you have it.
« Reply #1 on: September 09, 2018, 11:47:26 AM »
Hi.
I think lyrically it's quite straight forward.

I think it's fine but I'd consider changing
The 2nd and and 5 th line to. ...That love isn't fair for both lines.

I like the theme, it resonates.
Hope it's far from autobiographical. 
It's either this or that, then again it might be the other. 

And there you have it. 

https://soundcloud.com/rightly/sets/tactiles-remastered

Veance

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« Reply #2 on: September 14, 2018, 05:24:43 AM »
far from indeed.
I always think I exaggerate to much. That the story I bring is over the top.
nil volentibus arduum