Words

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Liam

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« on: August 21, 2018, 08:32:24 AM »
This song is about bullying and about words and how they can affect you , probably in a cyber age even more relevant

Words

I still look back to the years behind
I don't know how I coped at times
How can people be so cruel ?
Is it because they like breaking rules

Chorus
Sticks and stones might break my bones
but the words they say can't hurt me
but they torture my mind , when I'm all alone

The words fester and change your head
as you lay awake in your bed
and you start to believe that they were right
as you lay awake through the night

Chorus
Sticks and stones might break my bones
but the words they say can't hurt me
but they torture my mind , when I'm all alone


and as the night goes on they go deeper still
it's the words inside that make you ill
and you might not have been kicked or punched at all
but it's the nasty words that make you fall

You say that words can never hurt me
have you seen the cuts inside my soul
from  careless words thrown away
that have stayed from then to this day

Sticks and stones might break my bones
but the words they say can't hurt me
but they torture my mind , when I'm all alone

Sticks and stones might break might bones
but words can never hurt me
who said that is a Pratt and doesn't understand

It's the words that break you
It's the words that break you
It's the words that break you
It's the words that break you
It's the words that break you
It's the words that break you
It's the words that break you




AnnaLina

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« Reply #1 on: September 25, 2018, 09:08:46 PM »
Hi there!
I really like the overall message of this lyric, and I think you're right about it being more relevant than ever in this digital age. You have some really nice lines in there, but if I should suggest anything it might be to shorten some of the sentences, sort of simplify it all together. But that's really just my personal opinion, as I think this is the sort of topic where less is more, and it could (ironically) become more powerful with less words.

Best wishes

Liam

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« Reply #2 on: September 26, 2018, 08:43:07 PM »
Thanks for that, I think you might be right about shortening lines xx

TakeThisWaltz

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« Reply #3 on: November 07, 2018, 08:28:10 PM »
This song as a well presented message, good job!

Furry61

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« Reply #4 on: November 09, 2018, 09:48:56 AM »
This could be quite good but I am sorry to say it is poorly thought out and a little cliche in the chorus too which also contradicts the sentiment in the verse. It just needs a tidy up IMHO.