konalavadome

Hello songwriters - I need your support and feedback

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Krysoe

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« on: November 12, 2018, 02:27:42 PM »
Hello songwriters. English is not my first language and I need you review and feedback on the below song

Below is a new song I'm working on:
To make your review easier I have added the SoundCloud link here:
https://soundcloud.com/klaus-rysoe/catch-them-v11-work-title
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Hello
Hello you life is here

Hey there you stranger
who live in the dark
feel the joy with the kids
get some sun in the park

Drop the restrictions
make a crack in the wall
a mothers protection
dont protect kids to fall

all of the way
to the end of day
your life will depends how
well the destiny play

Hold you
Hold you before you fly away
in sunset
the sunset will force you to stay
for the rest of your day

Hello
Hello you life is here

Over the years
generations evolve
some growing big and
some just get small

But all have a color
to show where we belong
but some getting mixed
then they cant find their song

all of the way
to the end of day
your life will depends how
well the destiny play

Hold you
Hold you before you fly away
in sunset
the sunset will force you to stay
for the rest of your day
« Last Edit: November 12, 2018, 04:25:42 PM by Krysoe »
The "A Silent Life Project" is about a personal challenge: 1-2 new and finished songs each month of 2017 & 2018.
Actual status: 24