konalavadome

One Heart Whole

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rightly

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« on: August 05, 2018, 09:30:36 PM »
This is a fairly recent write.  Feedback is always very welcome.   

It came out of contemplating monogamy / polygamy in a romantic relationship. 
I think the defining factor In any such relationship is the degree of trust whichever way is decided.

I've heard getting involved can be a bumpy ride.
The rewards are potentially great, the dangers can be fatal, at least to the spirit.

Perhaps it's not for the light-hearted. Generally I prefer to keep my dramas on stage.


The song is about finished. I'm not always entirely sure whether I like the song or not. 
Sometimes I really do, other times not so much.
I'll see how it fares in the course of time. 

_____________________________

one heart whole

       there's a warm breeze
     and many ways to survive
             take your worries
          and hang them out to dry
      hear me if I'm not mistaken
            forgive me all I know
                   many loves must be forsaken
                           to make just one heart whole
                       
      to make just one heart whole

         your wily ways,
       all these secrets and lies
             should have no place
       in your heart or mine
   any thorn can be misleading
          and discolor the rose
                     left alone, distraught n' needy
                       leave me anything but broke

     to make this one heart whole

... drop all defense, discard pretense
       relinquish resistance, be still

      hear me If I'm am not mistaken
            forgive me all I know
                   many loves must be forsaken
                           to make just one heart whole

                         leave me anything but broke
                                  to make just one heart whole
                  there's a warm breeze and there are so many ways to
                                                                    survive
 


_____________________________
It's either this or that, then again it might be the other. 

I can promise you a future of slow decline.

Don't eat the yellow snow

And there you have it. 

https://soundcloud.com/2rightly

https://soundcloud.com/rightly

Paulski

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« Reply #1 on: August 08, 2018, 06:13:35 PM »
Hi Rightly

Up to your usual high standards.
I can't find any nits.
Quote
drop all defense, discard pretense
       relinquish resistance, be still

loved the assonance in that part (bridge?)  ;D ;D

Paul

rightly

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« Reply #2 on: August 08, 2018, 06:35:18 PM »
Thanks Paul.

Yes, that's the bridge. 

This is the final song of an 18 track "double album"
Lol. I think it sounds silly, chasing these standards of convention.

I'll be free to do my own thing now.
Hurrah. 
It's either this or that, then again it might be the other. 

I can promise you a future of slow decline.

Don't eat the yellow snow

And there you have it. 

https://soundcloud.com/2rightly

https://soundcloud.com/rightly

pompeyjazz

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« Reply #3 on: August 08, 2018, 10:12:32 PM »
It's a wonderful write @Rightly .Let us know when the album is out as I for one will be well into that

rightly

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« Reply #4 on: August 09, 2018, 10:04:11 PM »
It's a wonderful write @Rightly .Let us know when the album is out as I for one will be well into that


@pompeyjazz
John, the song to this is now ready.
It's presently at the top of my soundcloud.

The album is of 18 tracks (I like to think of it as a double album, cuz I'm old school).
It sort of chronicles my efforts learning to use cubase.
I think you know what a monster cubase or other highly developed DAWS are.
It took some effort and many mistakes were made but i quite frequently surprised myself in a good way and I have great affection for this album.

I still need to get the volume levels right, for even listening. 
It could already do with a remastering but I haven't the time.
My skills have improved and I'm already working on new material, I'm already close to having 5 new tracks for a new album. 


It's either this or that, then again it might be the other. 

I can promise you a future of slow decline.

Don't eat the yellow snow

And there you have it. 

https://soundcloud.com/2rightly

https://soundcloud.com/rightly

AnitaFox

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« Reply #5 on: August 09, 2018, 10:25:16 PM »
I absolutely love the lyric to this, went to listen to the song and.........it sounds nothing like I had in my head haha!

I really like it though.  Much more upbeat than my pessimistic mind had envisaged!

Great work as always 😀

rightly

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« Reply #6 on: August 10, 2018, 07:17:55 AM »
I absolutely love the lyric to this, went to listen to the song and.........it sounds nothing like I had in my head haha!

I really like it though.  Much more upbeat than my pessimistic mind had envisaged!

Great work as always 😀

Glad you like the song.
The acoustic version will be less upbeat.  :)
It's either this or that, then again it might be the other. 

I can promise you a future of slow decline.

Don't eat the yellow snow

And there you have it. 

https://soundcloud.com/2rightly

https://soundcloud.com/rightly