That's great that you fought your way through the stage fright. I wouldn't have thought that would have ever been an issue for you. You seem very comfortable and confident. I have it and can't make myself even consider playing live without major anxiety. Luckily I'm happy recording. Good things still come to me that way, cool people to collaborate with, and I get to miss seeing the faces of the downers. Haha.
I hope you'll post some more videos. I really enjoyed that. Also, More Forgiving When Drunk has been stuck in my head since I listened to it, a really good thing. It's very memorable. I really like it.
Lynn
Lol. Just for the record, (I've many detailed anecdotes) yes, I suffered.
At the beginning there might have been an audience of only seven people, and half of them were too drunk to dislike anything.
I'd still go to the bathroom 10 minutes before being called up.
I'd look at my feet and they seemed miles away. A drop of sweat rolled from my armpit, I'd think FFS why now!? Hypersensitive.
I'd stare in the mirror seriously and silently ask myself why I'm doing this. The answer never came easy and often not at all.
At the beginning I'd often be very glad when my performance was over.
There was no way of telling in advance wether I'd be completely destroyed when heading for the stage or terribly nervous.
After getting on stage sometimes things got just a little easier but not much.
Most folks genuinely disliked what I played. I was shunned by fellow artists and sometimes it hurt.
I really don't know what kept me going.
Sometimes people were nasty.
I did usually have a quiet and profound belief in myself though.
I'd very rarely get positive feedback that I could trust. Close friends simply don't count.
Once I brought a zoom recorder to record my playing and things started to change.
I'd play for myself, trying to get an interaction with the audience going to enjoy later.
Another time I really enjoyed performing, and things changed again and I wouldn't be recording myself.
After about two years of drama I was ok.
About two years ago I enjoyed myself with every performance but was usually half drunk, or worse. .
I stopped drinking, things were strange again but not for long.
I still think the audience would often prefer to hear cliched Cowboys or cheap imitators, or "puppy lovers" than me. There was a time I generally disliked the any audience. That's behind me now.
I've too often heard intelligent people give me an heartfelt "wow" and too often seen reserved types looking enthused and elated with a performance of mine to ever seriously doubt myself. I'm not saying this happens all the time.
I can at least be fun and entertaining and at most very, very good.
It was a struggle and more so because I did it my own way.
I don't mind imitation from others that much, there's just no way I could maintain enough interest for me to pull off an imitation.
I can play very few covers... Unfortunately. I can't force myself.
Rant over lol.
