[CaliaMoko]

I'm working on a project that will include as many songs as possible.    This is one of those songs. It's short, as many (maybe all?) of them will be. This one is all written, including melody, but I haven't had time to record it yet and I mainly want feedback on the words, anyway.

I consider the chorus the weakest part, especially the last line. Any ideas for improvement would be awesome!

DON'T TELL ME HOW TO LIVE

Don't tell me how to live, what to do , what to wear.
Don't tell me what to say, where to go, how to fix my hair.
It shouldn't matter to anyone what I do.
I can take care of me; you can take care of you.

CHORUS
I don't kill; I don't steal; I don't go around telling lies.
Wipe that look of judgment from your eyes.

Copyright 2018 VM Goble

I know the rhythm is inconsistent, and there is wiggle room in the melody, but it does work as it is.

[rightly]

theres always a song that should be written with this sentiment
folks are too quick to judge

this reminds me of a prince song called

love

[philbee]

Maybe create some repetitive emphasis on the word, 'judgement'. That's the theme of the song.
For example:

CHORUS
I don't kill; I don't steal; I don't tell no lies.
So wipe that look of judgment
Wipe that look of judgment
So wipe that look of judgment
From your eyes.

[Jenna]

Thought:

I'm not a puppet on the stage of life
I was born into freedom
I'm not yours to revise

Meant to follow what you've already written of the chorus.

[Liam]

Hope you song mind Vicki I got a bit carried away