[Miuzia]

Hey there songwriting community!  I started out with this song, wanting to use instruments I hadn’t used before...( enter the GarageBand string section) then I ended up thinking it sounded like music you’d hear at a Royal Palace somewhere...so, I ran with that idea, and decided that sometimes you have to claim a mentality of ROYALTY for yourself...and love those around you as though they are Kings & Queens.  Give yourself permission 😄✨🎶✨👑. Looking for feedback as to feel, lyrics, and form.  Please excuse the choppy video editing...I’m still not pro at that yet...lol!  Thanks in advance for your time spent helping me with this song!
Miu 
xoxo

Music, lyrics, and video by Miuzia.   
ROYALTY © 2018 MIUZIA MIUZIK
 
Verse 1
Dont need tuxedo or a crown
Just holding hands downtown
Dont need a castle on a hill
to see you really love me still
 
PreChorus
Its not about the diamonds, or about the gown
Its that look you give, and how it makes me live
And it turns my frown upside down
 
Chorus
You’re my king, don’t need a title or crown
I’m your queen, don’t need a diamond or gown
You’re royalty, baby, You are royalty, sincerely
(repeat)
 
Verse 2
Don't need a life of fairytales
Bury treasure, wedding veils
Just hold me close, on the dance floor
So I can give you love galore

[CaliaMoko]

Wow! 365 days, 365 songs. Way beyond ambitious!

You have a lovely voice, and I'm looking forward to hearing more from you. Although, I'll have to warn you--I don't usually listen to the songs on YouTube because when I start watching a bunch of videos, pretty soon I'm all out of bandwidth for the month. Sometimes I can watch them on my phone, though, and that's what I did with this one. I don't use the phone as much, so the bandwidth lasts longer on it.

Your style isn't my area, so I can't critique it knowledgeably. I can tell you have good control of your voice, but as far as the style of the music and how it works--it seems to me to work well, the best I can tell.

In a couple spots the lyric feels a bit weak, but that's to be expected when you're writing as fast you must in order to write a song a day. If you choose to come back and tighten this one up, I can recommend a couple bits to work on, starting with the last line. Instead of "love galore" what could you do with, say, something about "my heart soar"? Or "shut the door", (as in go home and shut the door). Or maybe some metaphor with "candy store"? No, probably not that one. But you might be able to do something with "an open door"...

Okay, back to the top. First two lines, rhyming "crown" with "downtown". I don't think it's terrible, but I think it could be better. A near rhyme would work here--something about "out loud" or "I'm so proud" or "makes me proud". A near rhyme would support the feel of the conflict in this verse--how you don't need that fancy stuff.

Same idea with the next two lines. You could use perfect or near rhymes. Perfect alternatives might be "gives me a thrill" but that's probably been used too much. Maybe something with chills, chilled, fulfilled....

In the pre-chorus, second line...what about something like "It's the look I see when you gaze at me" (not quite right) or something about the look on your face making my heart race. Or...try different ideas for the first half of that line and see what else you can come up with for a rhyming second half.

The only other line I noticed that I would recommend more work on is about turning your frown upside down. For instance, you could say something like:

It's not about the diamonds or about the riches
It's about the glow and how I'll always know
You'll always give me all your kisses.

Not the greatest (witness two instances of "always" too close together) but might give you some ideas. Oh...maybe "You'll forever give me all your kisses." ??

It's important to keep in mind, all this is only my personal opinion. If you find any of it helpful, that's a bonus for me. If not, no worries.

Good luck with your [overwhelming?] 365 days!

Vicki