walk without shame

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Rightly

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« on: July 01, 2018, 07:50:29 AM »
hi

So I wrote another. The lyrics were finished in a day, the music took a good while longer.

The song theme is "a return to innocence" sort of thing.

constructive criticism would be welcome
I hope someone likes it.  :D


https://soundcloud.com/rightly/walk-without-shame

____________________________


Walk Without Shame


I've heard the words before
I know what they say
how to find the way back home
to remove a stain
and once more with God in the garden
to walk without shame

what was won now is lost
the joys I once held dear
there is no call for remorse
as I find myself here
to ignite a light in the darkness
be done with all fear

to have come
and be gone with the first rain
to go home and once again
and once again

to walk without shame
to walk without shame



__________________________________
It's either this or that, then again it might be the other. 

And there you have it. 

https://soundcloud.com/rightly/sets/tactiles-remastered

Neil C

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« Reply #1 on: July 03, 2018, 06:48:46 AM »
Hi,
Get what you're saying. All done with your languid vocals it has own charm.
I think I found the drums a bit busy for my taste..
a grower
 :)
neil 
songwriter of no repute..

Rightly

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« Reply #2 on: July 03, 2018, 09:22:20 AM »
Hi,
Get what you're saying. All done with your languid vocals it has own charm.
I think I found the drums a bit busy for my taste..
a grower
 :)
neil

Thanks Neil.
languid - I had to look that up, to make sure.
I guess you're right. I think I achieved what I wanted here.
There's a quiet confidence in the voice, a settled determination.
The drums are a touch jumpier than usual, I really wanted a poppy feel with this one.

I'm glad you liked the song.
It's either this or that, then again it might be the other. 

And there you have it. 

https://soundcloud.com/rightly/sets/tactiles-remastered

redrhodie

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« Reply #3 on: July 06, 2018, 11:42:25 PM »
Really like this, Rightly. The music is memorable, the lyrics are compelling, and the spoken vocals are really cool. I can't find anything to criticize.
Our prime purpose in this life is to help others. And if you can't help them, at least don't hurt them.

Rock on!

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Bill Saunders

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« Reply #4 on: July 07, 2018, 11:05:36 AM »
Hello Rightly

The vocal delivery is not a style that I particularly enjoy, but as you say, you have achieved what you wanted, and I can here the "quiet confidence" for sure. So the fact that it is not my "thing" vocals wise, is irrelevant.

What I really do like, is the brass instrumentation, which carries the song along really, really well. Perhaps the drums could have done with a little more variation.

Good stuff, well done
Bill

Rightly

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« Reply #5 on: July 09, 2018, 11:25:11 AM »
Really like this, Rightly. The music is memorable, the lyrics are compelling, and the spoken vocals are really cool. I can't find anything to criticize.

Thanks Redrhodie
I'm glad you like it.
I still think it's more sung thank spoken
It's not exactly "take a walk on the wild side" style, nor is it what the lovely Joni had going on.
I've been listening to her lately. Amazing guitarist, she's got it all. :D

I'll send you another link.
It's either this or that, then again it might be the other. 

And there you have it. 

https://soundcloud.com/rightly/sets/tactiles-remastered

Rightly

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« Reply #6 on: July 09, 2018, 11:28:25 AM »
Hello Rightly

The vocal delivery is not a style that I particularly enjoy, but as you say, you have achieved what you wanted, and I can here the "quiet confidence" for sure. So the fact that it is not my "thing" vocals wise, is irrelevant.

What I really do like, is the brass instrumentation, which carries the song along really, really well. Perhaps the drums could have done with a little more variation.

Good stuff, well done


Bill

Thanks for the constructive criticism Bill.
I like to try out different styles, I hope you hear something one day that you'll be able to enjoy without any reservation.
 :D
It's either this or that, then again it might be the other. 

And there you have it. 

https://soundcloud.com/rightly/sets/tactiles-remastered

redrhodie

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« Reply #7 on: July 09, 2018, 12:40:18 PM »
Really like this, Rightly. The music is memorable, the lyrics are compelling, and the spoken vocals are really cool. I can't find anything to criticize.

Thanks Redrhodie
I'm glad you like it.

I'll send you another link.


Another link? Did you send me one before?

I wish I could appreciate Joni Mitchell. She was ruined by too many plays over too many years at a job I used to have. I know she's brilliant but I still can't listen to her voice. She actually used to come in to that shop.

I absolutely understand some people might have the same reaction to my voice. Haha. It's nothing personal against her. She seemed like a nice person.
Our prime purpose in this life is to help others. And if you can't help them, at least don't hurt them.

Rock on!

https://soundcloud.com/user-468459034

Rightly

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« Reply #8 on: July 09, 2018, 01:23:42 PM »
Really like this, Rightly. The music is memorable, the lyrics are compelling, and the spoken vocals are really cool. I can't find anything to criticize.

Thanks Redrhodie
I'm glad you like it.

I'll send you another link.


Another link? Did you send me one before?

I wish I could appreciate Joni Mitchell. She was ruined by too many plays over too many years at a job I used to have. I know she's brilliant but I still can't listen to her voice. She actually used to come in to that shop.

I absolutely understand some people might have the same reaction to my voice. Haha. It's nothing personal against her. She seemed like a nice person.

I've sent you a link to another version of this song of mine.
I sometimes wish I cold sing more melodiously like Joni does, still I don't think it necessary to convey the song.
 
It seems every couple of years I come to realise how good she was.
Yes, too many plays can desenesitize the listener.
It's either this or that, then again it might be the other. 

And there you have it. 

https://soundcloud.com/rightly/sets/tactiles-remastered

redrhodie

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« Reply #9 on: July 09, 2018, 01:49:59 PM »
Weird, I haven't gotten it.

Your voice and singing are great. The way you sing puts a lot if emphasis on your words, which is where the focus of your songs should be. But yes, sometimes I wish I had more range and could sing the high notes like Jack Simmons.  The grass is always greener, so they say.
Our prime purpose in this life is to help others. And if you can't help them, at least don't hurt them.

Rock on!

https://soundcloud.com/user-468459034

refusedrevival

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« Reply #10 on: July 11, 2018, 08:16:49 AM »
Hi,

The music is good, but the tempo is too slow or dragging for my taste.
I agree the others, the drums could have little more variation.

Nothing else I want to criticise, well done!

refusedrevival

Rightly

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« Reply #11 on: July 15, 2018, 12:52:13 PM »
Hi,

The music is good, but the tempo is too slow or dragging for my taste.
I agree the others, the drums could have little more variation.

Nothing else I want to criticise, well done!

refusedrevival

Thanks for the feedback Refusedrevival.

I'll certainly have a closer look at the drums. I'll try to calm them down in places and look for some variation in places. 
It's either this or that, then again it might be the other. 

And there you have it. 

https://soundcloud.com/rightly/sets/tactiles-remastered

Paulski

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« Reply #12 on: July 15, 2018, 02:33:32 PM »
Hi Rightly

I remember these lyrics - great stuff IMO.
This is hypnotic musically and really pushes the title/hook - which works for me. :)
I liked the vox - couldn't hear it any other way - very unique IMO

Solid work
Paul

Rightly

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« Reply #13 on: July 16, 2018, 09:24:41 AM »
Hi Rightly

I remember these lyrics - great stuff IMO.
This is hypnotic musically and really pushes the title/hook - which works for me. :)
I liked the vox - couldn't hear it any other way - very unique IMO

Solid work
Paul

Thanks Paul.
This one will have 3 or 4 different versions. Different singers and instruments too.
A simple song which somehow brought me further.
Listeners may find fault with it, and at times their obsevations are in accord with my own, but I really enjoy this song.

 :)
It's either this or that, then again it might be the other. 

And there you have it. 

https://soundcloud.com/rightly/sets/tactiles-remastered

Skub

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« Reply #14 on: July 20, 2018, 01:09:26 PM »
Yo Rightly.

I like the way you use the fall of man/original sin story as a parallel with personal loss and regret.  As always,your lyrics inspire and enthuse me. I must be attuned to your level of oblique .  :D

More than ever I think your music is a vehicle for the words and this carries the message with authority.
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