[Neil C]

Hi,
Here's something a little different a live recording guitar and vocals.
Its about my Grandpa, been trying to write this for a while now.
I wasn't very close too him and he died when I was 7, and what appeared to be making of him during WW1 where he joined the Royal Navy and served as an engineer on these Motor Launches ( ML's ).
https://soundcloud.com/neilconnor-2/ml-182
Anyway hope you have a listen and look forward to your feedback.

 
neil

ML 182

When I was a child I would sit there
And play your old mandolin
Didn’t understand, what made you a man
Didn’t know, where you’d been

The navy took you and made you
Grease monkey on 182
All that you saw, in the great world war
Hidden somewhere , inside you

And pictures don’t tell the whole story
Like knots on the family tree
Pictures don’t show all the details
And all that you mean to me

Captains cap, matches and shrapnel
A box of old black and whites
Though you’re not here, I fly through the years
I’m talking with you,  with you tonight

Now I am man and I sittin’ here
Playing that old mandolin
I understand, what you became
And I know now, where you’d -been

And pictures don’t tell the whole story
Like knots on the family tree
Pictures don’t show all the details
And all that you mean to

40 cigarettes, every single day. 40 cigarettes, the naval way

When I was a child I would sit there
And play your mandolin
Didn’t understand, what made you a man
Didn’t know, where you’d been

[Movin Flavour]

Lovely song Neil love the sentiment and nostalgia.... Like the lyrics

Some beautiful guitar playing.

I like the live recording, gives the song a raw edge.

A good listen.

Sandeep

[LostBoy]

Hey Neil,

Congrats on getting the song done first of all. Some songs come quickly and others seem to just take bloody ages!

Cool idea to do the live "one take" thing aswell.

It all sounds very nice mate. Where's the mandolin though eh?? 

[rightly]

there's a lot to like about this

the sentiment,
the lyrics are very nice and even cohesive.
(I sometimes have trouble being cohesive in my lyrics)

I do think there could be a bit more clarity in the singing though. It's a small gripe.
I understand every line because I listen closely, I appreciate dialects and I'm English.
Some listeners won't be this way though.

I hope my feedback doesn't bother you, I really like the song.

Well done

[pompeyjazz]

I thought this was great Neil. Lovely sentiment in the lyrics. Family history is fascinating and that link to the past. I thought the "live" recording worked very well and think the simple treatment for this song worked perfectly. Really enjoyed the listen

[tboswell]

Really nice, the minimal production helping us to focus on the lyrics which resonate well.

Great example of musically going for "less is more" if you want people to hear the lyric.

Touching stuff.

[Bill Saunders]

Hi Neil

Simple can be good eh? With all the toys at our disposal - they are hard to ignore. But this is a breath of fresh air. The acoustic guitar is the greatest accompanying instrument of all time, and it sounds so good here. Lovely song, good story and nothing to distract from it.

[Jambrains]

Lovely guitaring in the intro/outro and the small interludes between the chorus and verse. That was actually my fav part. Good lyrics and nothing wrong with the song but for me it suffers from a lack of variation/dynamics that often occur in 1+1 songs. I also think that this is further compounded by the fact that the verse and the chorus is rather similar in melody/chords, I did not realized what the chorus was until the second chorus where I realized the lyrics was repeated. There is also no additional clues re the chorus like some kind of pre-chorus or build up. No big deal, works very well in it's genre but I think it would shine a fuller arrangement. Take all with a grains of as 1+1 is not really my thing.

[PistolPete]

Really lovely.  A great way to tell a touching personal story. 

I will echo LostBoy & say it would be nice to have a little mandolin on there, given the lyrical reference.  It could echo that nice little instrumental refrain you do on the guitar & offer a bit of a change of texture.

[refusedrevival]

Hi,

Nice guitar playing and the chord progression. I think the live recording is good for this kind of songs.

Good stuff!

refusedrevival

[Skub]

Yo Neil.

Ya recall McGuinness Flint? I can never hear a mandolin or a guitar capoed up the neck without thinking of 'When I'm Dead and Gone'.

Love this to bits. I see you sitting on the porch,a nice malt beside you,sun low in the sky,as you sing to nobody at all,'cept maybe your Gramps. 

Touching and bang on the money for me. 

[Neil C]

Sandeep, thanks for your positive comments

Lostboy - cheers mandolin is on the way care of fiverr....

Rightly - 'could be a bit more clarity in the singing though' fair point I'll try and fix it on the studio recording, I was more worried about playing and hitting the notes..

Pompeyjohn thanks for the 'I thought this was great Neil' :-)

Tom, cheers for the listen and the less is more comment

Bill, " Lovely song, good story and nothing to distract from it" great feedback thank you

Jambrains, thanks and I get the point about dynamics when its a stripped recording. I'm working a recorded version

PistolPete, "A great way to tell a touching personal story" cheers

refusedrevival - thanks and I agree about the live recording, although I'm always a bit nervous

Skub, thanks a lot, I do remember them 1971

[Mikey]

Hi Neil, I think this is great, I like the story and the lyrics tell it very well and flow nicely, the guitar style gives a very Neil Young vibe, a bit of harmonica would have nailed the sound, I like the simple production, less is more definitely works this time.

Cheers, Mikey

[Liam]

I love this added to my favs on soundcloud
Very true as well -reminded me of my dad and grandad what they went through and it’s easy to forget
Thought it was lovely

[montydog]

Hi Neil,

I read the lyrics through first and thought they were rather wonderful - evocative and full of little vignettes which brought the whole thing to life. Very clever to make your guitar sound like a mandolin by (I guess) capo-ing high up the neck. The chord changes are beautifully constructed and that, together with your effortlessly skillful playing, puts me in a receptive mood for the melody and vocal which are among your very best. This works so well as a simple arrangement - additional instrumentation would be superfluous.

I think it's right up there with your very best work.

M