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Bad ass Princess

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Jenna

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« on: June 17, 2018, 11:04:01 PM »
A very rough take of a new song I threw together today. Critiques welcome.


Bad Ass Princess

Keep on thinking you are such a badass
Dragging me around through your mental madness
Serve yourself an extra helping of my hide

Little sister let me tell you something
You've got my blood a hard boiling and
It's time you stop living on my pride

Everybody get a look at the badass princess
Shaking her money maker trying to impress
Go make your own life, girl, and let me have mine

Badass Princess
Floating lies is your path to progress
Hanging out with you has always cost me mine
Yeah heh yeah

Badass Princess
Pointing fingers bleeding on your own dress
Shifting blame while living on my dime

Badass Princess
I'm not forgiving or forgetting
How your backstabbing with a smile on ya
Left me crying

Badass Princess
Badass Princess
Time to shut it girl
You've crossed the line


philbee

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« Reply #1 on: June 18, 2018, 01:28:28 AM »
OK - so the idea grabbed me and made me want to listen.
It's a good start but I got bored very quickly. The 9 lines of verse material was too much I think. Here are some thoughts on structure:

Bad Ass Princess

V1
Keep on thinking you are such a badass
Dragging me around through your mental madness
Serve yourself an extra helping of my hide
Little sister let me tell you something
You've got my blood a hard boiling and
It's time you stop living on my pride.   This sets up a loose rhyme scheme.

Now go to a Chorus and make some changes to the melody and backing.

Chorus
Badass Princess
Floating lies is your path to progress
Hanging out with you has always cost me mine
Badass Princess
Pointing fingers bleeding on your own dress
Shifting blame while living on my dime

V2

Everybody get a look at the badass princess
Shaking her money maker trying to impress
Go make your own life, girl, and let me have mine but re-write because you've used 'mine' and 'dime' in the chorus.
+ 3 more lines

Maybe use what's leftover in re-writing the chorus or simply part of the chorus Outro.

Badass Princess
I'm not forgiving or forgetting
How your backstabbing with a smile on ya
Left me crying

Badass Princess
Badass Princess
Time to shut it girl
You've crossed the line

I hope this helps you kick it along to the next stage.

CaliaMoko

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« Reply #2 on: June 18, 2018, 01:54:27 AM »
Hey Jenna, I tried to listen to this, but I have to turn it all the way up and then I can barely hear your voice. I can hear the drumbeat really well, though. Can you mix the voice a little higher?

Vicki

Jenna

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« Reply #3 on: June 18, 2018, 04:52:33 AM »
Hey Jenna, I tried to listen to this, but I have to turn it all the way up and then I can barely hear your voice. I can hear the drumbeat really well, though. Can you mix the voice a little higher?

Vicki


Thanks for the listen. I haven't been able to hear it outside of the DAW on my computer because of internet and computer issues. Ain't technology grand? I'll give that remix a shot and repost it when finished. It's been a steep climb to accomplish what little I have with this new software and setup. Learning curves . . . gotta love 'em. My eyes glaze over watching how to videos. I can only take so many at once.

CaliaMoko

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« Reply #4 on: June 18, 2018, 06:50:58 AM »
I understand much too well. My less-than-one-year-old computer will no longer play sound files. Just coughs up a "file system error" with a long number behind it. None of the suggested cures found via internet searches have helped.

I hope you starting the learning curve growing easier to climb soon.

Jenna

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« Reply #5 on: June 18, 2018, 05:15:20 PM »
Mine can't even play it here at this website. Microsoft forced another update and once again, it screwed up the sound and video somehow. It's an endless nightmare with them. I've had to roll back so many updates because of losing video or sound functions. They really need to pay for some top talent that can do the job right, rather than the top talent that tells the real talent what to do.

cowparsleyman

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« Reply #6 on: June 18, 2018, 07:04:27 PM »
Jenna

Love the song, took a brief listen lunchtime, you are definitely on the right track. It's such a shame that one can't just walk up to the Microsoft trade counter and say, this doesn't work please can you fix it...

The trouble is they'll say it's the fault of someone else's software, so they can't, so you go to their tech support, and they say it's Microsoft. It's rather like putting a BMW engine in a Renault and going to Ford for a fix...

Rubbish really.

Anyway, what they need is a badass princess to cast a spell on them

cpm


Paulski

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« Reply #7 on: June 26, 2018, 11:38:58 PM »
Link says:

You have not provided a valid SoundCloud URL.

.. and I was so looking forward to hearing it!  :D :D

Paul

Jenna

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« Reply #8 on: June 27, 2018, 09:14:04 PM »
Link says:

You have not provided a valid SoundCloud URL.

.. and I was so looking forward to hearing it!  :D :D

Paul

I'm so sorry. I took it down temporarily. I'll repost when I put it back up.

Veance

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« Reply #9 on: July 13, 2018, 09:13:22 AM »
Is there a song that goes along with your lyrics? It's easier to interpret the lyrics.
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