[Rick trodat]

Hope you like it:

Lyrics:

Where do we go
Does it even matter
It still rains down here
Don't know where I'm going
And she went away
No eternal sunshine
Where do we go
Don't know what went wrong between us
We need to find a new way
I am scared."

[CaliaMoko]

I listened and watched (don't usually watch videos, but it's the last day of the month and we still have about a GB of bandwidth left, so I'm feeling rich ). You didn't post anything with the song, so I don't know what you're looking for in the way of feedback, especially as this is a "finished song". If you want feedback on the production of the music or the video, those aren't my areas. Although the video looks pretty good to me. I can't tell good production from bad production, so my telling you the production sounds fine to me is not helpful to you.

My only nits have to do with lyrics. And those can be so personal, I could be treading in dangerous territory. But I'll risk it.

You've listed the lyrics as:

Where do we go
Does it even matter
It still rains down here
Don't know where I'm going
And she went away
No eternal sunshine
Where do we go
Don't know what went wrong between us
We need to find a new way
I am scared.

To start with, I get the impression the singer is singing about him or herself as half of a couple. I think I can get a feel for the purpose of "it still rains" as part of the developing story...maybe, things haven't been too great, and things are still not so great. I have no idea what "down here" refers to, but I don't think that's important.

But then the point of view suddenly changes. Instead of "we", the singer is now an "I" and a "she".

"No eternal sunshine" feels like a mood-setter, similar to "it still rains".

Then we're back to "we" for the rest of the song.

If you're going to have the "we" point of view, I believe you should be consistent throughout the song, unless there is some good reason--that makes sense--for changing it. So I suggest "And you went away" in place of "And she went away".

As far as the story...I think it's pretty clear. There's something wrong between two lovers and has been for a long time. They need to figure it out and fix it. You could include an option, because it does exist and would be more realistic, and that is--either they need to fix it or they need to call it quits.

This is all, of course, based on my understanding and opinions about how songs should work, so use it or lose it as suits you. I hope you find something of value here.

Vicki

[Rick trodat]

Thanks a lot for the great feedback!

The singer is going to sing this again.

And we will rewrite the lyrics

[Rick trodat]

We have rewritten the lyrics of the song. Thx everyone for the support and feedback!

Video
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K7W0PWtOiS0

https://soundcloud.com/user-281254464-295176775/where-do-we-go