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Secret Mover

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jacksimmons

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« on: May 30, 2018, 08:59:52 PM »
Hi guys! Back again! I know I take big breaks but I am always hovering even if I'm not active. I have been working on this song off and on for a while but have finally stopped tweaking it. It's another track for my 80s inspired EP.

It is thematically similar to my last one, Billy. This is about the old gay men you see in gay bars, who have often upset me because society was not ready for them to fully be themselves when they were young, and as a result they have grown old without someone to love, or having to love in secret. Hence, secret mover.

As always, thanks for any feedback!



Lyrics:

Let me in
Let me know how you really feel
Before morning fully comes
And this song is done

All the boys
Have their eyes on eachother
And you are like a ghost
Just an old man

You were a mover
You were a secret mover
You had the time of your life before the guns came down
And it all went wrong

You were a lover
You were a secret lover
But when the lightning strikes on this dullard town
You'll be dead and gone

You were there before bombs were
You were there when the first brick fell
You showed the boys who the boss was
You let the boys fall in the snow

Tell me how
All your darlings took the last train out of Warsaw
And you followed them to these Roman streets

You were a mover
You were a secret mover
You had the time of your life before the guns came down
And it all went wrong

You were a dealer
You were a dirty dealer
In black market love but now those days are gone
And you are free and useless

You were there before bombs were
You were there when the first brick fell
You showed the boys who the boss was
You let the boys fall in the snow

You met the tanks by the river
You kissed and got cold sores
But now your hands on the bar
They've touched nothing in years

You were a mover
You were a secret mover
You were a mover
You were a secret mover
Secret mover

« Last Edit: May 30, 2018, 09:07:09 PM by jacksimmons »
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"When I play a dope melody, anything less than the best is a felony." - Robert Matthew Van Winkle

jamesh

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« Reply #1 on: May 30, 2018, 10:08:30 PM »
Hi Jack

Im always a fan of some 80s inspired music. You've got your synth sounds spot on and Im feeling OMD with maybe a bit of Pet Shop Boys. Love the melody and the references to the Berlin wall and secret lives.

The singing is great too. I felt it could be a bit higher in the mix in some places.

Nice work

James

mickyplankton

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« Reply #2 on: May 30, 2018, 10:36:27 PM »
Hi Jack. I'm listening on repeat. This is a wonderful song. Possibly your best yet. Love the vibe, the delivery and the mix. Please stick around.

Panamaya

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« Reply #3 on: May 31, 2018, 07:55:07 AM »
Be assured that this information is good for those who are interested in this.

katiewilson1

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« Reply #4 on: May 31, 2018, 08:30:14 AM »
Hi Jack  this is excellent so good , good topic - good ideas - just flows right with a good vibe with that undercurrent of sadness - your voice is great fits the song perfect - sounds like an 80s type hit - pet shop boys - communards - I think in the right market, clubs etc this could be a huge hit .

Must be a contender for song of the month - I can't rate it highly enough- I think the lyrcis are good , subtle with a story lots can relate to
Thanks for sharing xxx

Rick trodat

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« Reply #5 on: May 31, 2018, 09:23:45 AM »
Real professional track. Great mix and the vibe is excellent.

Your voice also fits in this track perfect

Martinswede

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« Reply #6 on: June 02, 2018, 08:29:28 PM »
Great song Jack!
I'll reply in full when I've had a few more listens.

Martin

jacksimmons

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« Reply #7 on: June 05, 2018, 05:05:34 PM »
Im always a fan of some 80s inspired music. You've got your synth sounds spot on and Im feeling OMD with maybe a bit of Pet Shop Boys. Love the melody and the references to the Berlin wall and secret lives.

The singing is great too. I felt it could be a bit higher in the mix in some places.

Nice work

Thanks a lot @jamesh. I always end up with the vocals slightly too low in the mix. I will go back and correct that. Thanks for the feedback

Hi Jack. I'm listening on repeat. This is a wonderful song. Possibly your best yet. Love the vibe, the delivery and the mix. Please stick around.

Wowzers. Thanks Micky, I'm glad you like it! dw, I plan on sticking around

Hi Jack  this is excellent so good , good topic - good ideas - just flows right with a good vibe with that undercurrent of sadness - your voice is great fits the song perfect - sounds like an 80s type hit - pet shop boys - communards - I think in the right market, clubs etc this could be a huge hit .

Must be a contender for song of the month - I can't rate it highly enough- I think the lyrcis are good , subtle with a story lots can relate to
Thanks for sharing xxx

Thank you very much Katie, I am glad you enjoyed it. I had been listening to the PSB A LOT when I recorded this, so it's cool that you heard the influence. PS. Glad to have you back! Don't go anywhere, please. :)

Real professional track. Great mix and the vibe is excellent.
Your voice also fits in this track perfect

Thank you! Thanks for listening!

Great song Jack!
I'll reply in full when I've had a few more listens.

Martin

Thank you Martin, I look forward to it :)



Soundcloud: https://soundcloud.com/jack-simmons-1/albums
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"When I play a dope melody, anything less than the best is a felony." - Robert Matthew Van Winkle

redrhodie

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« Reply #8 on: June 06, 2018, 09:54:56 PM »
Really pretty. Love the beat. I can see this being huge in the clubs. I saw Erasure twice in the early '90s, and this brings me back to those nights. Best. Concerts. Ever. So yeah, really liked this. It's excellent.

Darren1664

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« Reply #9 on: June 10, 2018, 02:51:57 PM »
Yes Jack, just brilliant!

I think 80s has a certain coolness currently so I think it's very clever to have an 80s theme. This is very modern 80s if that makes sense. Billy was a great track and I think this would work great next to it in an album. I'm very impressed with your music, it is a fantastic listen. Lyric are very powerful. Production spot on!

I'm on my 4th, 5th? Listen...I dunno lost count! Just loving listening to this!

All the best

Darren


Martinswede

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« Reply #10 on: June 10, 2018, 06:36:31 PM »
Hi Jack!

Where were your songs when I was 17?!
You always write good songs but this one has the quality of being both easy to listen to and still being a bit of a mystery. The lyrics, the kind of dark synths. It's like a part of a bigger picture. Look forward to the Ep.

The only thing that comes to mind in terms of criticism is that the ending is a bit abrupt.

Cheers,
Martin

adamfarr

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« Reply #11 on: June 11, 2018, 01:56:59 PM »
Great sounds and a really interesting topic for a song. There's a wistfullness to it which really suits. And great variation (you were a xx, a secret xx) which all worked really well for me.


I'd have to say I was a bit confused by some of the historic images (falling in the snow? Roman streets?) but of course I know that your pieces often have a dramatic back story which in context makes total sense.

Great 80s vibe!

MichaelA

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« Reply #12 on: June 11, 2018, 10:10:03 PM »
You have a very tender pop voice that carries this genre very well. The 'Mover' chorus is very catchy. Maybe perhaps a little too subtle with the lyrics in that more repetition could have driven this home more on first listen. But maybe that's just me, Mr Obvious. But 80s were not that subtle, ha ha!


The track moves along really nicely though and still sits well into its 80s intended pastiche. I've played it three times now and it's an enjoyable pop song, with a great backing track - and the more you play it, yes those vocals are just so right!
My latest novel: pls check it out!

‘Gavin & The Bodysnatchers’, a quirky comedy crime thriller. Easily found on Amazon.

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Paulski

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« Reply #13 on: June 11, 2018, 11:48:34 PM »
Hi Jack - lots to like here - love the energy and the vocals are sweet.
Sort of disco beat meets good lyrics to me.
Excellent production as well - nice to hear you back  ;D ;D
Paul

jacksimmons

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« Reply #14 on: June 13, 2018, 10:22:05 PM »
Thank you guys for all your amazing comments and feedback. I always appreciate anyone taking the time to listen to my tunes. I am glad everyone seems to like this one as it was my first departure in to real synthpop, I think. I'm having a lot of fun!

I'd have to say I was a bit confused by some of the historic images (falling in the snow? Roman streets?)

The Roman streets are a reference to the places near where I live like Bath that have retained some of that flavour. The snow, and guns and the bricks falling (Berlin Wall) are all references to eastern Europe, somewhere largely untouched by the Roman Empire. I have always pictured that the person the narrator is speaking to is eastern European - homosexuality being much less tolerated in the communist countries of the eastern bloc in the 60s/70s/80s than in the UK. So it's just to juxtapose the places this person has left with the snow and guns to the new place with the Roman history.

Thanks everyone!


Soundcloud: https://soundcloud.com/jack-simmons-1/albums
Bandcamp: https://jacksimmonsmusic.bandcamp.com/

"When I play a dope melody, anything less than the best is a felony." - Robert Matthew Van Winkle