I really think the melody moves quite well in the verses although the choruses are not that catchy... wish I could see the lyrics to give proper feedback and a first listen they sounded a bit too descriptive maybe I'd suggest using more metaphors or similes? also what's the working title for this song?
Hi and thank you for the response and feedback! It is much appreciated.
The song is titled : Something like this.
The lyrics for it are below.
Lyrics for it are here...
Title: Something like this.
I look into your bed
reach out for your hand
but it's stone stone cold
they said that they did their best
worked right on through the night
but still it wasn't enough
i think that something is wrong
when someone so young
is taken from you in this way
she gave a hell of a fight
i blame that beautiful light
for taking you away...
what do you say
when your child leaves this world
before you do
how am i to believe or continue to pray
to someone like you
when you do something like this?
what am i supposed to think
when you do something like this
what am i supposed to believe in?
If your listening god
step out there from the dark
cos this daddy needs to talk to you
i followed all of your rules
but in return all i got
was a knife straight through my heart
ok i'll pray one last time
and if you don't respond
i'll simply turn my back on you
this daddy he needs to know
why you took his baby girl
who wasn't even ten days old
what do you say
when your child leaves this world
before you do
how am i to believe or continue to pray
to someone like you
when you do something like this?
what the hell am i supposed to think
when you do something like this
what am i supposed to believe in?
anymore...
Johnny