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Only the young (Drum Challenge Entry)

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Martinswede

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« on: May 25, 2018, 08:25:16 AM »
Hi!

This is my song for the challenge. First I wrote a punk song, but it didn't work with the drums, wrong rhythm.
Then I wrote a pop song, but it was too hard to sing. So I made something in between. Not punk and still too
hard to sing. By no means pitch perfect.

Anyways. I had a good time (co-)writing and recording this song. It is by far my most elaborate work. A flawed gem.

I Googled the title and saw it was (also) a Journey song. Pure coincidence.




Down by the river I confessed my love       
I told you I couldn't get enough         
I believe that you're the one         

Down by the river a lovers pact          
Down by the river a desperate act    
Coz I believe that you're the one          

Too good to be true                
You said yes when I asked you         

Down by the river we sold our souls       
And I asked you to let this world go       
Follow me into the night             

Only the young, only the brave            
Only the ones with nothing to loose will be saved

pompeyjazz

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« Reply #1 on: May 25, 2018, 08:43:21 AM »
I loved the melodic jangly feel to this one Martin. It reminded me of The La's in some ways. It's absolutely fascinating to hear all the different interpretations of the drum track. My only minor crit would be that maybe the lead guitar could be a little lower in the mix as it's slightly overpowering at times. Another excellent interpretation

dasntn

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« Reply #2 on: May 25, 2018, 08:49:29 AM »
Hi Martin

I was getting shade of Springsteen in the singing and melody - and it's a great melody. Very brave to go for such a long held note on Believe! I think it's a great poppy rocky song.

Great jangly feel to it too

Nice one!

Dave

tboswell

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« Reply #3 on: May 25, 2018, 10:23:54 AM »
It's good, I can hear the Springsteen in places and the Big O style of writing behind that.

Agree about the mix, the drums are way to low and the lead guitar too far up. But that is easily fixed I'm sure.

I love the way this is making everyone write to a nice high BPM track.
Great jangly action on this one.

Skub

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« Reply #4 on: May 25, 2018, 08:52:51 PM »
Yo Martin.

I agree with the consensus of opinion which says the lead guitar/riff needs lowering to fit the mix.

What the vocals come in,I'm reminded of Springsteen!

It's a fine rocker and with a few mixing tweaks,could be awesome!

PaulAds

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« Reply #5 on: May 26, 2018, 01:58:50 PM »
This is very cool, Martin.

Excellent mix of punk, indie and I picked up quite a bit of a 50’s vibe in the vocal melody too.

Very creative and inspired.

I think I’d whack the drums up a bit...but it’s a great number and well worth further tweaking.
heart of stone, feet of clay, knob of butter

redrhodie

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« Reply #6 on: May 27, 2018, 01:05:03 AM »
Totally cool. Punk meets Roy Orbison. Really like it. Feels like a live performance.

Bill Saunders

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« Reply #7 on: May 27, 2018, 08:49:41 AM »
Hi Martin

Very nice melody on the vocals, and I think you did a good job singing it - I think I some use of EQ on the voice would help it sit better in the mix - to my ears it needs a bit of lift in the mid-higher range.

I'm being picky, the point is this is a good song, very much enjoyed it!
Bill

Boydie

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« Reply #8 on: May 28, 2018, 12:08:29 AM »
This is an interesting one as I am getting a late 50s/early 60s vibe but I also think the vocal has a "Morrissey" feel - there are some pitchy parts but I actually really like the "lazy" delivery style, which really suits the song

I agree with @Bill Saunders about using some EQ to get the vocal cutting through a bit more and to take the edge of the lead guitar a tad

I would also suggest bringing the drums up in the mix, which I think will add some more energy to the track and hang things together a bit more

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CaliaMoko

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« Reply #9 on: May 28, 2018, 01:22:11 AM »
Like Boydie mentioned, the "lazy" vocal style works so well for this. You mentioned not being pitch-perfect, so I didn't listen for accurate pitches, but the sort of, almost "sobbing" approach to the lyric gives me the impression of an very intense young man experiencing such strong emotion, he finds it almost painful. Kinda sounds like a suicide pact? Sounds dark, anyway.

Vicki

adamfarr

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« Reply #10 on: May 28, 2018, 09:37:33 AM »
Recorded live at the best pub in town, circa 1965, 1978, 1984 or 2018...?


I really like the mixture of punk and powerpop. The jangly guitars make it not straight skatepunk but something very interesting. Really maintains the energy of the drums - and it definitely takes us to a dramatic place (by the river) where something unspeakable and reckless was taking place.


First listen I wasn't convinced - I think because the vocal could be clearer - but more listens hooked me in. I have a slight feeling that the lead guitar lags slightly behind the beat but maybe nothing would be improved by investigating...

Viscount Cramer & His Orchestra

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« Reply #11 on: May 28, 2018, 05:18:06 PM »
Springsteen!

Sorry! can't help making comparisons which is annoying I'm sure and it doesn't sound like him at all really apart from the opening verse lines. (just notice I'm not alone though!) These verses are probably my favourite parts.

Interesting vocal delivery which I can't make any comparison to but has an individuality which is always good....puts me in the 60s for some reason where the song sounds more recent than that style and sound wise. As Adam said...it's a grower. The verse openers are immediately grabbing (for me) where the chorus takes a little longer to get its hooks in.
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Martinswede

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« Reply #12 on: May 28, 2018, 06:18:01 PM »
Thank you all for your replies!

@pompeyjazz Haven't heard of the La's ,my bad, adding more treble to the lead guitar was one of the last things I did. Forgot to turn the volume down to compensate.

@dasntn If I wasn't atheist Springsteen would be a household God. Now he only has a shrine in the living room.

@tboswell This challenge rocks!

@Skub Again Springsteen, the whole Nebraska album influenced me a lot for this track.

@PaulAds Yes I think this is a keeper. I was working on a similar song when the challenge started, couldn't change track apparently.

@redrhodie My goal was both the feeling of motion and an in your face sound. I'm kind of rediscovering these 60s crybabies.

@Bill Saunders Thanks on the input on the vocals. (Kind of key to get those right.) I found my voice was a lot lower than I had expected and all I read about vocal seemed to be about tenors or growl. This internet.

@Boydie Morrisey have influenced this track. I warmed up with First of the gang to die before most recordings. Thank you for commenting the vocals. I used the pencil trick but still got mostly a very sharp sound between 2k-8k. I have to learn to hear nuances more +/- 3dB is almost inaudible to me.

@CaliaMoko The theme is dark. First I had a more conclusive ending but I changed it to a more open ending. To me the chorus describes how one person feels he has the lives of others in his hands.

@adamfarr I just wanted it evil. You might be right about the lead guitar. During these recordings I learned about Record offset in Studio One, the by hand latency compensation might be a bit lacking.

@Viscount Cramer & His Orchestra To be compared to The Boss is always flattering. The original lyrics were 'Down by the water' but I miss sang them so many times I just gave up and changed them.

ScottLevi

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« Reply #13 on: May 30, 2018, 08:03:27 PM »
Hey Martin,

Sounds like you tried a few things before getting here, and 'elaborate' usually gets me on side xD

Love what you've done with the vocals, very distinct in style and really sits well in the piece. Feels like you've captured a bit of the 80's whilst still sounding like a new artist a mate could send me a link to.

Powerful first note had me from the start to be fair, definately the softest drums I've heard so far and it's feel very natural.

All the best,
Scott.

nooms

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« Reply #14 on: June 03, 2018, 12:30:48 AM »
enjoyed this
sounds like a california 60s ‘delic’ band
reminds of randy california and spirit in the early days
think youve some ‘delic' roots martin
hooky melody and a grower more i played it more i liked it
i may not believe this tomorrow...

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